If You Want Love

"If You Want Love" is a deeply introspective and emotionally charged song by NF that explores the difficult prerequisites for achieving genuine love and meaningful relationships. The central message is that true love is not a simple or easy path; it requires immense personal sacrifice, vulnerability, and growth. The song posits that to find love, one must be prepared to experience pain, be willing to change, and be able to give trust freely. This idea is encapsulated in the recurring chorus: "If you want love, you gon' have to go through the pain / If you want love, you gon' have to learn how to change / If you want trust, you gon' have to give some away".

Lyrically, NF delves into his personal struggles with control and emotional honesty. He touches on the common tendency to hide one's true feelings, admitting, "Ask me how I'm doin', I'll say 'okay' / Yeah, but ain't that what they all say?" This reflects a broader commentary on how people often mask their pain. The song also reflects on past regrets and a wish for earlier wisdom, particularly the guidance he feels he lacked in his youth. His line, "I've always tried to control things / In the end that's what controls me," reveals a self-awareness about his own flaws and how they hinder his ability to connect with others. The song serves as a form of self-therapy and a message to listeners who can relate to these struggles, making it a highly resonant and personal track.

The song begins with a deep sense of personal reflection and a need for solitude to process thoughts. The narrator admits to putting on a brave face, responding with a simple "okay" when asked how he's doing, a sentiment he notes is universally relatable as a way to hide inner turmoil. He reminisces about his past, thinking back to a time of innocence when his mother's presence was a comfort, and wishes he had been warned about the complexities of life and relationships.

A core struggle revealed is his tendency to control things, which he now recognizes as a mechanism that ultimately controls him. This desire for control stems from a place of fear and a lack of guidance in his youth. The central message, which he laments not learning sooner, is that love is inextricably linked with pain, change, and trust. He articulates this as a series of conditions: to experience love, one must be willing to endure pain, be open to personal transformation, and be prepared to give trust to others.

The passage of time is another significant theme. He feels an urgency to "save time" as he gets older, haunted by internal voices that cause him to second-guess his decisions. There's a palpable fear of waking up one day filled with regret, wondering where all the time went. He imagines a future where he is a father, sitting in his living room and sharing these hard-earned life lessons with his own children. This vision provides a sense of purpose to his struggles, transforming his personal pain into wisdom he can pass down.

This hypothetical conversation with his future children serves as the framework for the song's main advice. He would tell them directly what he wishes he had been told: that love demands sacrifice and vulnerability. The repetition of the phrases "If you want love, you gon' have to go through the pain," "If you want love, you gon' have to learn how to change," and "If you want trust, you gon' have to give some away" transforms from a personal lament into a universal truth he wants to impart. The song closes on this recurring motif, emphasizing that these are the fundamental, unavoidable costs of achieving genuine love and connection.

"If You Want Love" was written by NF (Nathan Feuerstein) and Tommee Profitt. The song was produced by Tommee Profitt and David Garcia, who were the sole producers for the entire Perception album. The track was released as part of NF's third studio album, Perception, on October 6, 2017, under the labels Capitol Records, Caroline Records, and NF's own label, NF Real Music. It was later released as the fifth single from the album to mainstream radio on January 22, 2019.

The album Perception marked a significant moment in NF's career, debuting at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 chart. This success was seen as an underdog story, as NF had built a substantial following largely through streaming and dedicated fan support rather than mainstream promotion. The song itself is a departure from some of NF's more fast-paced rap tracks, offering a smoother, more melodic, and emotionally vulnerable style. An official music video for "If You Want Love" was released on December 7, 2018, directed by Patrick Tohill and Nathan Feuerstein. The video further explores the song's themes by depicting the life cycle of a family, emphasizing the pain, change, and letting go that comes with love.

The rhyme scheme in "If You Want Love" is generally straightforward, contributing to its lyrical clarity and emotional impact. In the verses, NF often uses couplets and internal rhymes to create a fluid, conversational flow. For instance, in the first verse, he rhymes "straight," "space," and "say," followed by a rhyming triplet of "old me," "hold me," and "told me." This creates a sense of building momentum leading into the chorus.

The rhythm of the song is slow and deliberate, matching its contemplative theme. NF's lyrical delivery in the verses is rhythmic but relaxed, allowing the words to take precedence over a complex beat. This contrasts with the more melodic and evenly paced rhythm of the chorus, which makes it an easily singable and memorable hook. The interplay between the spoken-word style of the verses and the sung chorus creates a dynamic texture that keeps the listener engaged. The tempo remains consistent throughout, reinforcing the song's sorrowful and reflective mood.

"If You Want Love" showcases NF's signature blend of raw lyrical honesty and accessible melodic hooks. Musically, the song deviates from his more aggressive, fast-paced rap style, adopting a gentler, piano-driven instrumental that creates a melancholic and contemplative atmosphere. The structure follows a conventional contemporary pattern of verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus, which makes the central message highly memorable.

NF's vocal delivery is a key stylistic element. He shifts between a measured, almost spoken-word rap in the verses and a more melodic, sung chorus. This dynamic mirrors the song's emotional content: the verses are introspective and narrative, while the chorus is a heartfelt, universal plea. His emotive tone conveys a sense of sincerity and vulnerability that makes the lyrics resonate deeply with listeners.

Literarily, the song employs direct address and rhetorical questions to engage the audience, such as "Ask me how I'm doin', I'll say 'okay' / Yeah, but ain't that what we all say?" This technique creates an immediate sense of shared experience. The use of an internal monologue, particularly when he speaks of "talkin' to the voices in my head," gives listeners a direct window into his anxiety and thought process. The framing narrative of wishing someone had told him these truths and his desire to tell his future children adds a layer of poignant, multi-generational depth.

"If You Want Love" is featured on NF's third album, Perception, which was a major commercial success, debuting at number one on the US Billboard 200 chart in 2017. This achievement significantly raised NF's profile, pulling him from the fringes of the Christian rap scene into the mainstream. The song itself became a fan favorite and was released as the album's fifth single, receiving radio airplay in early 2019. It has been certified 2x Platinum in Australia, 3x Platinum in Canada, and has received Gold or Platinum certifications in several other countries.

The song's music video, released in December 2018, garnered significant attention and became a trending video on YouTube. Its poignant, story-driven narrative, which follows the life cycle of a family, was compared to the emotional depth of the popular TV show This Is Us. The track's honest and relatable exploration of love and pain has led to it being covered by other artists, such as Emilia Tarrant, who was drawn to its powerful lyrics and melody. Critics have praised the song for its insightful and sincere lyrics, with some calling it one of the best tracks on the Perception album.

The song uses the central metaphor that love is a journey with unavoidable costs—pain, change, and trust. This isn't a transactional relationship but a series of personal sacrifices required for authentic connection. The lyrics don't contain elaborate, hidden symbols, but rather rely on direct, universally understood emotional concepts.

A key symbolic element is the idea of the "old me" in "pointless conversations with the old me." This represents regret and the internal struggle of wrestling with past mistakes and a former self he has outgrown but is still influenced by. It symbolizes the inner dialogue of someone trying to move forward while being anchored by past habits and memories.

The imagined future scene where NF talks to his own children serves as a powerful framing device. His kids symbolize hope and a chance to break a cycle of unlearned lessons. By passing this wisdom to them, he gives his own pain and struggles a redemptive purpose. The living room setting in this vision creates an image of domestic peace and the successful attainment of the love he currently struggles for, making it a symbol of his ultimate goal.

The music video adds another layer of symbolism, using the "life cycle" of a woman from birth to motherhood to illustrate the song's core tenets. Her birth represents the 'pain' her parents endure, her teenage years represent the necessity of 'change', and her marriage symbolizes 'giving away' trust. This narrative transforms the lyrical advice into a visual allegory for the human experience of love and family.

The most prominent recurring motif in "If You Want Love" is the central thesis delivered in the chorus: "If you want love, you gon' have to go through the pain. If you want love, you gon' have to learn how to change. If you want trust, you gon' have to give some away." This tripartite maxim is repeated multiple times, functioning as the song's core message and structural anchor. Its repetition drills the difficult reality of love into the listener's mind, reflecting NF's own process of coming to terms with this truth.

Another recurring phrase is the lament, "I wish somebody woulda told me." This phrase appears before the chorus, framing the core message as a piece of hard-won wisdom that he lacked during his formative years. It emphasizes a sense of regret and highlights the theme of learning life's lessons through difficult personal experience rather than guidance.

The concept of time passing is a subtle but significant recurring motif. He mentions life moving "so slow" as a kid, contrasts it with his current feeling of needing to "save time," and fears waking up one day to find that time has disappeared. This motif underscores the urgency of his message about love and personal growth, suggesting that these are lessons one must learn before it's too late.