that way

"that way" by Tate McRae delves into the painful and confusing gray area of a relationship that is more than a friendship but less than a committed romance. The lyrics articulate the emotional turmoil of being in a "situationship" where one person sends mixed signals, creating a cycle of hope and heartbreak. The core message revolves around the discrepancy between words and actions. While both parties claim to be just friends, their interactions—the intense gazes, the near-kisses, the emotional dependency—suggest a much deeper, unacknowledged connection. The song captures the narrator's struggle with uncertainty, her inability to define the relationship, and the pain that comes from this ambiguity. It's a raw expression of longing for someone you can't have, and the frustration of being kept in emotional limbo by someone who acts like more than a friend but refuses to be one.

The narrative begins with the singer describing a cyclical and confusing dynamic with someone. This person intentionally keeps her in a state of uncertainty, messing with her emotions just enough to ensure she remains attached and hangs on. She understands the subtle meanings behind their actions, the loaded glances, and the suggestive behaviors. However, she's painfully aware that this person doesn't grasp the emotional damage this behavior inflicts on her, how it's progressively breaking her heart. There's a stark contradiction in their interactions: he'll declare that a romantic relationship between them is impossible, only to create moments of intense intimacy, like almost kissing her in the dark.

This push-and-pull leaves the singer in a state of constant emotional turmoil. Every conversation is fraught with pain because the nature of their relationship is completely undefined. She doesn't know what they are to each other, making it impossible to know how to act or where to even begin processing her feelings. Despite the hurt, she feels compelled to play along with this undefined role. The central conflict is articulated in the chorus: they publicly label their relationship as a friendship, but the singer observes intense, lingering looks from him across the room. This discrepancy makes no sense to her, especially as they find themselves fighting over their ambiguous interactions. She feels a sense of hopelessness, convinced that they will never officially be together, yet she's unable to reconcile this with the clear evidence that what they have transcends a typical friendship—because friends simply don't look at each other in that emotionally charged way.

The second verse deepens her confusion, as she admits she can't even distinguish between feelings of love and hate for this person. He has an addictive hold on her, and their dynamic feels like a game where she can't even tell who is winning or losing. The cycle of mixed signals repeats: his actions imply romantic interest, but the painful reality that it will lead nowhere remains. The song's structure emphasizes this recurring, frustrating loop, returning to the core lament that their actions betray their words. The repetition of the line "friends don't look at friends that way" serves as both a personal realization and a desperate plea for clarity in a relationship that causes her immense pain and confusion.

"that way" was written by Tate McRae, Skyler Stonestreet, and Nick Monson, with Monson also handling production. The song was penned in late 2018 or early 2019 when McRae was just in the 10th grade. She has stated that the song is based on a real, personal experience about having feelings for someone she knew she could never be with. It was released on January 24, 2020, as a promotional single from her debut EP, All the Things I Never Said. Initially, the song had a moderate reception but became a sleeper hit in 2021 after it went viral on the social media platform TikTok. The trend was largely fueled by the relatable lyric, "friends don't look at friends that way". This viral success led to the song charting in the UK and Ireland and achieving Platinum certification in the US. Due to its renewed popularity, a new version of the song featuring American singer Jeremy Zucker was released on September 3, 2021, which added a male perspective to the narrative.

The song's structure is relatively straightforward, following a verse-chorus pattern that emphasizes its central message. The rhyme scheme is generally simple, often using couplets (AABB) or alternating rhymes within the verses, such as in the first verse with "do"/"you" and "that"/"heart". This uncomplicated rhyme scheme makes the lyrics feel direct and conversational, like thoughts from a diary. The chorus relies heavily on the repetition of the key phrase, which serves as the lyrical and rhythmic anchor. Musically, the rhythm is slow and deliberate, driven by the piano ballad tempo. This pacing creates a melancholic and introspective atmosphere, allowing the listener to feel the weight of the singer's emotional state. The rhythm of the vocal melody often mirrors the conversational flow of the lyrics, rising in intensity during the chorus to underscore the frustration and emotional plea.

"that way" employs a combination of minimalist musical arrangement and direct, relatable lyrical techniques to achieve its emotional impact.

• Musical Style: The song is primarily a minimalist piano ballad. This sparse arrangement, featuring slowly moving piano chords and muted percussion, places the focus squarely on McRae's emotive vocal performance. The simplicity of the music mirrors the raw, unfiltered honesty of the lyrics.
• Vocal Delivery: McRae's vocal performance is described as sorrowful and filled with conviction. Her delivery weaves together vulnerability and frustration, effectively conveying the internal conflict of the narrator. This emotive vocal style is a key characteristic of her early work.
• Literary Techniques: The lyrics utilize a direct address narrative, speaking to the person causing the confusion. The use of rhetorical questions and declarations of a confusing reality (e.g., "'Cause I don't even know what we are") enhances the sense of internal turmoil. The repetition of the central hook acts as a lyrical motif, drilling the core theme into the listener's mind.

"that way" initially released to moderate attention but gained significant cultural traction in 2021 after going viral on TikTok. The lyric "friends don't look at friends that way" became the centerpiece of a trend where users shared stories of their own complicated friendships and unrequited love, resonating deeply with a younger audience. The song has been used in over 470,000 videos on the platform. This viral resurgence propelled the song onto official music charts in the UK and Ireland and led to it being certified Platinum in the United States by the RIAA, and Gold in Canada, Australia, and Denmark. The renewed interest also prompted the release of a duet version with Jeremy Zucker in September 2021, which offered a new dimension to the song's narrative. The track is considered a key song from McRae's early career, showcasing the emotive songwriting and vocal style that first brought her to prominence before her shift to a more dance-pop sound.

The central metaphor of "that way" is the very concept of a friendship that operates under false pretenses. The entire song is an exploration of this undefined space, using specific actions as symbols for deeper, unspoken feelings.

• Looking 'that way': The recurring phrase "friends don't look at friends that way" is the song's primary symbolic motif. The 'look' symbolizes a gaze filled with romantic longing, desire, and emotional depth that transcends platonic affection. It represents the non-verbal communication that contradicts the official "just friends" status.
• Almost Kissing in the Dark: This image is a powerful symbol of unfulfilled potential and secrecy. The darkness represents the hidden, true nature of their feelings, away from the public label of friendship. The fact that the kiss is only "almost" happening symbolizes their inability to commit, leaving the relationship in a state of perpetual, painful anticipation.
• Running in Circles: The opening line, "Run me in circles like you always do," serves as a metaphor for the cyclical, confusing, and ultimately fruitless nature of their dynamic. It visualizes the emotional manipulation and lack of progress, where the singer is endlessly led on without any resolution.

The most significant recurring phrase in the song is the line, "friends don't look at friends that way." This phrase functions as the central thesis of the entire track. Its repetition in the chorus and outro serves to reinforce the narrator's core conflict and realization. Each time it's repeated, it gains more weight, transforming from an observation to a painful affirmation of an undeniable truth that is being ignored by both parties. Another recurring idea is the contradiction between words and actions, highlighted by lines like "We say we're friends" immediately followed by a description of a non-platonic action, "but I'm catching you across the room." This recurring structural motif, pairing a stated reality with a conflicting observation, drives the narrative of confusion and hurt throughout the song. The image of the "almost kiss" also serves as a recurring motif of their unresolved romantic tension.