exes

"exes" by Tate McRae is a multifaceted exploration of self-sabotage and emotional immaturity in modern dating. On the surface, the song presents a flippant and defiant attitude towards breakups, with McRae sending "kisses" to her former and future lovers. However, in interviews, McRae has clarified that the song is less of a diss track towards her ex-partners and more of an introspective look at her own flaws and self-deprecating tendencies in relationships. The lyrics portray a narrator who is acutely aware of her pattern of pushing people away. She admits to being "cold," prideful, and changing her mind "like it's origami." This creates a central paradox: she craves connection, evidenced by her keeping exes' numbers and necklaces, yet her actions consistently lead to breaking up. The song captures the internal tug-of-war between a desire for love and a compulsive need for distance, highlighting a cycle of starting relationships she knows she will end. It’s an anthem of unapologetic self-awareness, acknowledging her role in the chaos of her love life while simultaneously justifying it with her youth ("we ain't married, I ain't 30").

The song's narrative voice presents a self-aware, almost boastful account of her own patterns in romantic relationships. She begins with a facetious apology to her lovers, acknowledging that her mind changes as easily and intricately as origami. This sets the stage for a chorus that acts as a dismissive yet poignant send-off to both past and future partners. She sends "kisses" to exes who no longer care about her and to the next ones who will inevitably believe they can do without her. The cycle is predictable: they connect, they fall apart, and despite their promises to never contact her again, she retains mementos of the connection, like their phone number and a necklace. It's a testament to her inability to fully let go, even as she instigates the separation.

She admits to a tendency to be cold and to burn bridges, driven by her pride. This isn't a malicious act but a recurring, almost compulsive behavior. She describes herself as a "wild ride that never stops" and a "hard case they can't unlock," fully cognizant of her complex and challenging nature. There's a moment of vulnerability where she insists she cares a great deal, but concedes that it's just not enough to sustain a relationship, ultimately resigning to the idea that "it is what it is and was what it was."

This pattern of self-sabotage is further explored as she acknowledges doing her partners "dirty." She calls herself "messed up" and "selfish," but contextualizes it with a reminder of her youth and lack of serious commitment, noting they aren't married and she isn't even thirty. Even when she recognizes that she has hurt someone, the memory is intertwined with the physical remnants of the relationship she holds onto. The internal conflict is palpable; she describes wanting to go and wanting to leave simultaneously, making promises she can't keep. She lives in a state of not knowing what she truly wants, which she understands is what her partners sign up for. This confusion leads her to overshare and create scenarios in her head, ending things before they have a chance to develop. The song is a cyclical confession, a portrait of someone caught in a loop of her own making, aware of her flaws but not yet ready or able to change them.

"exes" was written and recorded with remarkable speed, embodying the impulsive spirit of its parent album, Think Later. Tate McRae co-wrote the song with producers Ryan Tedder and Tyler Spry. According to McRae, the song was a "last hurrah" created on the final day of the album-making process. Tedder suggested they try to write a song in just 30 minutes, and the result was "exes." The entire track, including full production and vocal recording, was completed in about 90 minutes. The record label immediately selected it as the next single upon hearing it. McRae described the whirlwind process as "the most Think Later thing we could ever have done." The music video was filmed just seven days after the song was written. Tyler Spry, a frequent collaborator with Tedder's band OneRepublic, played all the instruments on the track, including keyboards, guitar, bass, synthesizer, and percussion. The song was released on November 17, 2023, as the second single from the album.

The rhythmic structure of "exes" is built for the dance floor, featuring an upbeat tempo and a steady eighth-note motif that drives the song forward. The production incorporates slinking hi-hats and synth bursts, creating a modern pop-trap feel. Lyrically, the song employs a relatively simple and direct rhyme scheme. For instance, in the chorus, "me" is rhymed with "me," and "call me" rhymes with "necklace," relying on near rhymes and assonance to maintain flow. The pre-chorus uses rhymes like "stops" and "unlock" and the imperfect rhyme of "enough" with "was." The song's rhythm becomes more complex in the bridge, where McRae introduces faster sixteenth-note rhythms, providing a refreshing contrast to the otherwise predictable rhythmic pattern of the verses and chorus. This interplay between a consistent, danceable musical rhythm and a more varied lyrical rhythm helps to create the song's catchy and memorable quality, though some critics have found the overall structure to be repetitive.

"exes" combines a rap-singing vocal delivery with a driving, dance-pop production. McRae's vocal style is vibrant, riding over a beat characterized by pulsing synths and crisp hi-hats, elements common in modern pop, R&B, and trap music. The song's structure is noted for its repetition; it relies on a simple, catchy four-chord progression in the key of G Minor and a recurring melodic motif that hovers around a few pitches, making it infectious but also somewhat cyclical. The production, handled by Ryan Tedder and Tyler Spry, is polished and designed for broad pop appeal. A notable literary technique is the use of direct address and a self-aware, confessional narrative voice, where McRae directly states her flaws ("Little messed up, little selfish"). There's also a tongue-twisting, memorable phrase in the chorus, "Let's just say it is what it is and was what it was," which encapsulates the song's theme of resigned acceptance of her own behavior. The music video is heavily stylized, with a strong emphasis on choreography by Sean Bankhead, drawing inspiration from early 2000s pop icons like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera to fuse McRae's identities as a singer and dancer.

"exes" was released as the second single from Tate McRae's sophomore album, Think Later, following the massive success of her viral hit "Greedy." The song achieved significant commercial success, reaching the top 10 in McRae's native Canada and peaking at number 34 on the US Billboard Hot 100 and number 23 on the Billboard Global 200 chart. The music video, which heavily features choreography inspired by early 2000s pop icons like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, garnered considerable attention and reinforced McRae's image as a "pop princess" skilled in both singing and dancing. The song was promoted with performances on major television shows like Saturday Night Live and The Today Show. Its release was also accompanied by a YouTube Shorts challenge, #kissestomyexes, encouraging fans to create their own dance videos to the song. While some critics found the song's production formulaic, it successfully solidified McRae's shift into a more upbeat, dance-pop sound and cemented her status as a rising star in mainstream pop music.

The lyrics of "exes" employ several key metaphors and symbols to convey its themes of fleeting relationships and self-sabotage.

• Origami: The line "Changed my mind up like it's origami" is a central metaphor. It suggests that the narrator's feelings and decisions are complex, constantly folding and changing into new forms. This imagery captures her perceived unpredictability and perhaps the intricate, yet ultimately fragile, nature of the connections she makes.
• Burning Bridges: The classic idiom of "burn down every damn bridge" symbolizes her tendency to decisively and often impulsively end relationships, leaving no path for return. This is directly linked to her pride, suggesting a defensive mechanism to maintain control.
• Necklace and Number: While she burns bridges, she paradoxically "still keep[s] their number and their necklace." These physical objects symbolize her inability to completely let go. They are tangible remnants of past connections, suggesting that despite her cold and dismissive exterior, there is a sentimental side that holds onto memories and the ghosts of her exes.
• Hard Case They Can't Unlock: This metaphor paints the narrator as a puzzle or a vault, intentionally mysterious and difficult to understand. It reflects her guarded nature and the emotional walls she puts up, contributing to her self-sabotaging cycle.

The most prominent recurring motif in "exes" is the central chorus line: "Kisses to my exes who don't give a shit about me / Kisses, kisses to the next ones who think they can live without me." This phrase acts as the song's defiant and memorable hook, encapsulating the theme of a casual, almost cavalier attitude towards past and future relationships. The introductory phrase, "Oh, I'm sorry, sorry that you love me / Changed my mind up like it's origami," is also repeated, framing the song as a sarcastic apology for the narrator's fickle nature. The line "Let's just say it is what it is and was what it was" serves as a recurring mantra of resignation, appearing in the pre-chorus and reinforcing the theme of accepting her own flawed behavior without promising change. Musically, the song is built on a repetitive four-chord progression and a simple melodic hook that drills into the listener's ear, making the lyrical motifs even more impactful through constant reinforcement.