New Man

"New Man" is a satirical and critical commentary on a former lover's new partner and the lifestyle he represents. The song's narrator dissects the personality and habits of this 'new man,' portraying him as a shallow, trend-following individual who is obsessed with his physical appearance and social status. Through detailed and often humorous observations—such as spending £500 on jeans, plucking his eyebrows, and having a "bleached arsehole"—Sheeran crafts a caricature of a modern 'f-ckboy' stereotype. The core message revolves around the contrast between the narrator's perception of his own authentic, albeit imperfect, past relationship with the ex-girlfriend and her current, seemingly superficial one. The narrator suggests that his ex has changed, adopting a new, less genuine persona to fit in with her new boyfriend's world, evidenced by her 'eating kale,' 'hitting the gym,' and 'keeping up with Kylie and Kim.' Ultimately, the song explores themes of jealousy, lingering attachment, and the idea that the ex-girlfriend is not truly happy, underscored by the fact that she continues to call the narrator, implying her new relationship lacks the depth and 'real love' they once shared.

The narrator begins by detailing the habits and characteristics of his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend, painting a picture of a man who is superficial and obsessed with his appearance. He's heard this new man spends a fortune on clothes, works out excessively, and adheres to the latest trends, like wearing boat shoes without socks. The list of attributes grows more specific and critical, mentioning plucked eyebrows, bleached body parts, tribal tattoos with no understood meaning, and a collection of generic dance music CDs. The narrator concedes that if this man makes his ex happy, then he accepts it, but he can't help but feel a sense of disdain. He admits to his own lingering attachment, confessing that he still secretly looks at her Instagram profile, careful not to accidentally reveal his lurking by liking an old photo. He then contrasts their past, more authentic relationship with her current situation. He reminds her of simple, intimate moments, like holding hands and drinking champagne from cider cans, suggesting a time when their connection was less about appearances. He reflects on their dynamic, acknowledging he was never the perfect superhero for her, just an ordinary young man seeking love.

The chorus reveals the narrator's internal conflict. He repeatedly states that he doesn't want to know about her new man, reasoning that if their own relationship was truly meant to be over, she wouldn't still be calling him. He's certain that the new boyfriend would not want to know about him either, highlighting the awkwardness and unresolved feelings between the ex-lovers. He suggests an eventual, undefined resolution, perhaps a time when they can move on, but for now, he is acutely aware that she misses the kind of genuine love they shared, a love he is sure her new partner cannot replicate.

In the second verse, the critique of the new boyfriend continues with more lifestyle details. He rents a suburban house and carries a "man bag" that the narrator dismisses as a purse. He takes yearly trips to Málaga with his friends, and while he drinks beer, he maintains a perfect six-pack, a fact that elicits a hint of jealousy from the narrator. The mockery intensifies as he describes the new man wearing sunglasses indoors and at night, and throwing up gang signs when rap music plays, trying to project an image that isn't his. Having exhausted his list of complaints about the new boyfriend, the narrator shifts his focus to the changes he has observed in his ex-girlfriend. He reminisces about the person she used to be: a girl who would sit by the water reading, content with a simple bag of crisps. He contrasts this image with her new persona, someone who now eats kale, goes to the gym, and tries to keep up with celebrity trends like those of Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian. He laments seeing her in a club kissing someone who isn't her new boyfriend, suggesting she isn't truly happy or fulfilled. He offers a lifeline, telling her that if she needs to be alone or wants to talk, his phone is always available. He feels compelled to tell her these things because he believes she deserves to know that she has changed and is still just a young woman searching for genuine love. The song concludes with a final repetition of the chorus, emphasizing his conflicted desire to remain ignorant of her new life while being unable to escape the reality that she is still reaching out to him, a clear sign that her new relationship is not as perfect as it seems.

"New Man" was released on March 3, 2017, as part of Ed Sheeran's third studio album, ÷ (Divide). The song was co-written by Ed Sheeran, Ammar Malik, Jessie Ware, and Benjamin Levin (Benny Blanco), with Blanco and Sheeran also handling production. The track features backing vocals from Jessie Ware and a vocal feature at the end by Francis Farewell Starlite of Francis and the Lights. In an interview with Zane Lowe on his Beats 1 show, Sheeran revealed that the song was initially intended to be a bonus track, but his record label insisted it be included on the main album. He explained that the song isn't about a specific person but is rather a compilation of characteristics of a stereotypical "f-ckboy" or the kind of guy an ex-girlfriend might date immediately after a breakup. Sheeran stated, "I've had this idea about writing the f-ckboy anthem... we all know them, we've all been them at some point." The writing process involved Sheeran and Jessie Ware creating a list of traits that define this type of man, leading to the song's highly specific and satirical lyrics.

"New Man" is characterized by a conversational, rhythm-focused delivery that blurs the line between singing and rapping, particularly in its verses. The rhythmic structure is built on a consistent, mid-tempo beat that gives the song a steady, head-nodding feel. Sheeran's lyrical rhythm is complex, packing a high density of syllables into each line, which contributes to the song's storytelling, list-like quality. The rhyme scheme in the verses is not strictly formal but often follows a pattern of rhyming couplets (AABB), such as "jeans" with "week" (a slant rhyme) and "feet" with "eats." Other parts of the verse are more free-form to accommodate the narrative flow. For example, in the first verse, "bleached," "CD," and "means" create a loose rhyming group. The chorus is more structured, with a consistent rhyme scheme where the second and fourth lines rhyme (e.g., "be" and "me"). This interplay between the free-flowing, talkative verses and the more melodic, structured chorus creates a dynamic listening experience that highlights the song's narrative and its emotional hook.

"New Man" employs a blend of musical and literary techniques to achieve its sarcastic and narrative-driven tone. Musically, the song features a distinctive R&B and pop rhythm with a conversational, almost rap-like vocal delivery in the verses, which allows for dense, detailed storytelling. The instrumentation is relatively sparse, driven by a steady beat and an acoustic guitar line, putting the focus squarely on Sheeran's lyrical wit. Lyrically, the song is built on several techniques:

• Hyperbole and Caricature: Sheeran exaggerates the traits of the new boyfriend to a comical degree (e.g., "his arsehole bleached," "wears sunglasses indoors, in winter, at nighttime") to create a satirical caricature rather than a realistic portrait.
• Juxtaposition: The entire song is a study in contrast. The narrator juxtaposes the new man's superficial lifestyle with the memories of his own more grounded relationship with the ex-girlfriend ("sipped champagne out of cider cans"). He also contrasts the woman his ex used to be with who she has become.
• Rhetorical Questions and Direct Address: Although not framed as questions, lines in the chorus like "'Cause if it was meant to be / You wouldn't be callin' me up" function as rhetorical arguments directed at his ex, challenging the validity of her new relationship.
• Specific, Vivid Imagery: The power of the song's critique comes from its highly specific details, from the "man bag" he calls a "purse" to the "tribal tattoos" without meaning, which paint a clear and unflattering picture for the listener.

Upon its release as part of the album ÷ (Divide) in March 2017, "New Man" achieved significant chart success despite not being an official single. Driven by the massive popularity of the album, all of its tracks entered the top 20 of the UK Singles Chart, with "New Man" peaking at number 5. The album itself was a global phenomenon, breaking records for sales and streaming. The song garnered attention for its witty, specific, and somewhat controversial lyrics, particularly the line "He's got his eyebrows plucked and his arsehole bleached," which was highlighted by critics as memorable and audacious. Taylor Weatherby of Billboard noted the lyrical boldness, pointing out a potential nod to Kanye West, who had used a similar phrase and whose wife, Kim Kardashian, is also mentioned in the song. While it hasn't had the same single-driven legacy as hits like "Shape of You" or "Perfect," "New Man" remains a fan favorite and a standout album track, appreciated for its sharp lyrical storytelling and its satirical take on modern dating and social media culture. It showcases a different, more caustic side of Sheeran's songwriting, contributing to the multifaceted success of the ÷ album.

The song is rich with cultural symbols and specific imagery that function as metaphors for a shallow, materialistic lifestyle.

• Brand Names and Activities: References like spending "five hundred pounds on jeans," owning "every single Ministry CD," and keeping up with "Kylie and Kim" are not just literal descriptions. They symbolize a culture of conspicuous consumption and an obsession with fleeting trends over substance.
• The "New Man" as a Stereotype: The new boyfriend is less a specific person and more a walking symbol of a certain type of modern masculinity that the narrator disdains—one focused on superficial attributes like a gym-sculpted body, plucked eyebrows, and performative social behaviors ("he makes a gang sign" when a rap song comes on).
• Lois Lane and Superman: The narrator's line, "I guess if you were Lois Lane, I wasn't Superman," is a direct metaphor for his self-perceived inadequacy in the past relationship. It implies he feels he wasn't the heroic, perfect figure she might have wanted, contrasting with the new boyfriend's seemingly perfect but hollow exterior.
• Champagne from Cider Cans: This image symbolizes the narrator's past relationship with his ex. It represents a time of youthful, unpretentious joy and authenticity, where they found happiness in simple, makeshift moments rather than expensive, curated experiences. This stands in stark contrast to the calculated and image-conscious life she now appears to lead.

The most significant recurring phrase in "New Man" is the chorus's central line: "I don't wanna know about your new man." This phrase is repeated multiple times and serves as the song's primary hook. Its significance is ironic; while the narrator claims he doesn't want to know, the verses are filled with hyper-specific details he has clearly learned about this new person, revealing his obsession and inability to let go. The repetition highlights his internal conflict between a desire to move on and a lingering jealousy and attachment. Another key recurring idea is the fact that his ex-girlfriend is still calling him ("You wouldn't be callin' me up"). This motif is crucial as it serves as the narrator's proof that her new relationship is flawed and that she still misses what they had. It validates his criticisms of the 'new man' and fuels his hope, however faint, that their connection isn't truly over. Finally, the idea of being "just a young boy/girl tryin' to be loved" appears in reference to both himself and his ex, adding a layer of empathy. It suggests that underneath the sarcasm and lifestyle changes, both are still navigating the complexities of finding genuine love and acceptance.