xanny

"xanny" by Billie Eilish is a poignant commentary on substance abuse, particularly among young people, and a declaration of her commitment to sobriety. The song's title is a colloquial term for the anti-anxiety medication Xanax, which is often used recreationally. Eilish wrote the song after being at a party and seeing her friends get heavily intoxicated, which she found frustrating and alienating. She has stated that her message is less about being preachy and more about encouraging safety and expressing her personal choice to abstain from drugs and alcohol. The lyrics convey a sense of isolation and bewilderment as she observes her peers engaging in self-destructive behavior, unable to understand the appeal. She contrasts their intoxication with her own sobriety, drinking "canned Coke" while they are in a haze of "secondhand smoke." The song is a firm statement that she doesn't need drugs to "feel better," highlighting a theme of self-awareness and resistance to peer pressure. It touches on the emotional consequences of loving someone who is self-destructing, as expressed in the line, "I can't afford to love someone who isn't dying by mistake."

The song begins with the narrator questioning the appeal of a certain lifestyle, feeling like she must be missing something as she observes people around her who seem disengaged and overly intoxicated to the point of fearlessness. She feels detached and considers herself better off without them, noting their instability and the shallow connection they share, symbolized by bringing ashtrays to the table. Amidst this, she finds herself in a cloud of their secondhand smoke, sticking to a simple can of coke, making a clear statement that she doesn't require a substance like Xanax to feel better. She stands out as the designated driver, the only one who is not under the influence, and she firmly rejects the idea of ever using the drug.

The narrative continues by describing the disoriented lives of these individuals, who wake up at sundown and are perpetually late for social gatherings. There's a lack of accountability, as they are too inebriated to even dance, let alone feel remorse for their actions. The mornings after are filled with physical discomfort, their heads hurting, yet they seem incapable of learning from their mistakes, preferring to blame their circumstances. The narrator reiterates her position, surrounded by their smoke, content with her soda, and steadfast in her refusal of Xanax. She is the responsible one, the sober presence in a world of intoxication, and she wants no part of it, now or ever.

A specific, personal plea emerges in the bridge, where she asks not to be kissed on the sidewalk during someone's cigarette break. This moment highlights a deeper emotional boundary. She reveals a vulnerability, stating that she cannot afford to love someone who is recklessly endangering their life, seemingly by mistake, in a place like Silver Lake. This line encapsulates the emotional toll their self-destructive behavior takes on her and her inability to form a meaningful connection with someone on such a path. The song circles back to the initial question, a sense of confusion and concern still lingering. The narrator is left pondering what it is about this destructive behavior that is so alluring to others, a cycle of doing nothing and being too intoxicated to be scared. The repetition of these lines emphasizes her ongoing struggle to comprehend this disconnect from her own reality and values, ending on a note of unresolved contemplation and quiet melancholy.

"xanny" was written by Billie Eilish and her brother, Finneas O'Connell, who also handled the production. It is the third track on her debut studio album, WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?, released on March 29, 2019. The inspiration for the song came from Eilish's personal experiences at parties where she witnessed friends overindulging in drugs and alcohol, making them seem like entirely different people. This had a profound and frustrating effect on her. Eilish has been outspoken about her decision to live a substance-free life, and this song serves as an expression of that stance, motivated by the loss of friends to drug overdoses. The musical direction was influenced by a variety of artists, with Frank Sinatra being a key inspiration for the track's jazzy feel. Other influences mentioned by the siblings include Feist, LCD Soundsystem, Post Malone, and Daniel Caesar. The production aimed to aurally represent the feeling of being in a smoke-filled room; the distorted bass and Eilish's layered, compressed vocals in the chorus are meant to replicate the suffocating sensation of breathing in secondhand smoke. The song was mastered by John Greenham and mixed by Rob Kinelski.

The rhyme scheme in "xanny" is generally straightforward, contributing to its narrative and conversational feel. The verses often follow a loose AABB or ABCB pattern, which gives the lyrics a natural flow. For instance, in the first verse, "something" doesn't have a perfect rhyme, but "scared" and "share" create a near-rhyming couplet at the end of their respective stanzas, providing a sense of closure. The chorus uses more consistent end rhymes with "better" and "ever." The song's rhythmic structure is one of its most defining features. It operates at a slow tempo, around 54-56 beats per minute, which gives the verses a languid, almost lazy feel, mirroring the intoxicated state of the people Eilish describes. The lyrical rhythm is conversational and follows the melody closely, with Eilish's delivery feeling personal and unforced. However, this calm is dramatically broken in the chorus. The instrumental rhythm becomes jarring and aggressive, with the distorted bass creating a syncopated, vibrating pulse that feels intentionally uncomfortable and chaotic. This rhythmic contrast between the smooth, jazzy verses and the harsh, overwhelming chorus is the song's central musical device, effectively translating the lyrical theme of sober discomfort in a drug-fueled environment into a sonic experience. The deliberate shift in rhythm and texture directly reflects the emotional and psychological shift from quiet observation to being physically affected by the surrounding chaos.

"xanny" showcases a blend of distinctive musical and literary techniques. Musically, the song is notable for its stark dynamic contrast. The verses are quiet and have a jazzy, ballad-like quality, influenced by artists like Frank Sinatra, featuring a simple beat with brushed drums and Eilish's soft, melodic vocals. This creates a calm, introspective mood. This tranquility is violently interrupted by the chorus, which features a heavily distorted and compressed bassline along with layered, strained falsetto vocals. This sonic shift is a deliberate production choice by Finneas to emulate the physical and disorienting feeling of being overwhelmed by secondhand smoke. Eilish's vocal delivery is characteristically intimate and whispery in the verses, drawing the listener in, while becoming more desperate and strained in the chorus, reflecting the song's emotional turmoil. The use of a moderately slow tempo (around 54-56 BPM) and the key of A major provide a foundation that is then subverted by the chorus's aggressive texture. Lyrically, the song employs a direct, narrative voice, recounting personal observations and feelings. It uses rhetorical questions like "What is it about them? / I must be missing something" to express confusion and a sense of alienation. The lyrics are grounded in concrete imagery ("bring ashtrays to the table," "drinking canned coke") to create a vivid scene.

"xanny" made a significant cultural impact upon its release as part of the critically and commercially successful album WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? (2019). The song was noted by critics for its mature and counter-cultural stance on substance abuse, especially coming from a teenage artist with immense influence over a young generation. While many contemporary artists, particularly in hip-hop, were seen as glorifying the use of Xanax, Eilish's track offered a starkly different and critical perspective. The song reached number 35 on the US Billboard Hot 100 and charted in the top ten in several other countries. It has been certified platinum in the United States by the RIAA. Eilish also directed the song's music video, which was released in December 2019 and praised for its minimalistic yet powerful imagery that reinforced the song's message. The video, featuring Eilish being burned by cigarettes, became another point of discussion, highlighting her artistic vision and willingness to create visceral, thought-provoking visuals. The song solidified Eilish's image as an artist who is unafraid to tackle serious subjects with honesty and a unique artistic sensibility, further cementing her status as a cultural icon who challenges pop music conventions.

"xanny" employs several powerful symbols and metaphors to convey its message.

• Secondhand Smoke: This is a central metaphor in the song, representing the toxic and suffocating environment created by others' substance abuse. Eilish feels unwillingly enveloped in this atmosphere, even though she is not partaking. The distorted and overwhelming production in the chorus is designed to sonically mimic this unpleasant sensation.
• Canned Coke: In stark contrast to the drugs and alcohol consumed by her peers, the "canned Coke" symbolizes Eilish's sobriety, innocence, and conscious choice to abstain. It's a simple, everyday object that represents her separation from the party culture around her.
• Ashtrays: Bringing "ashtrays to the table" is a literal image that symbolizes how substance use has become the central, and perhaps only, shared interest among her friends. It points to the hollowness of their connections, which are built around a destructive habit.
• Silver Lake: Mentioning "Silver Lake," a neighborhood in Los Angeles, grounds the song in a specific reality. The line "dying by mistake in Silver Lake" serves as a poignant and localized reference to the real-life tragedies of overdose and accidental death that can occur within a seemingly glamorous or trendy setting, highlighting the fragility of life amidst a culture of casual drug use.
• Padded Room (Music Video): In the self-directed music video, Eilish is depicted in an all-white, padded room. This setting can symbolize a mental health facility or a feeling of being trapped and isolated in her own sober consciousness while observing the chaos around her. The disembodied hands putting out cigarettes on her face visually represent the pain and harm inflicted upon her, not by her own actions, but by the reckless behavior of others.

Several key phrases and motifs recur throughout "xanny," reinforcing its central themes. The most prominent recurring phrase is the chorus line, "I don't need a Xanny to feel better." This line acts as the song's thesis statement, a direct and unwavering declaration of sobriety and self-reliance that contrasts sharply with the behavior of those around the narrator. Its repetition hammers home the core message of rejecting drug use as a coping mechanism. The phrase is consistently paired with the line "Don't give me a Xanny, now or ever," which strengthens the resolve and permanence of her decision. Another significant recurring motif is the image of being in "their secondhand smoke / Still just drinking canned Coke." This lyrical couplet appears in both choruses and serves as a powerful visual and symbolic contrast. "Secondhand smoke" represents the toxic, unavoidable proximity to substance abuse, while "canned Coke" symbolizes her conscious, almost defiant, choice of sobriety and innocence amidst the chaos. The opening question, "What is it about them? I must be missing something," bookends the song, appearing in both the first and the final lines. Its recurrence highlights the narrator's persistent confusion and inability to comprehend the appeal of self-destruction. This cyclical structure suggests that she finds no answers, leaving her in a state of perpetual, troubled observation.