Memoirs of a Gorilla

At its core, "Memoirs of a Gorilla" is a visceral declaration of $uicideboy$' power, resilience, and their rapid ascent in the underground rap scene. Released in 2016 shortly after the death of the internet-famous gorilla Harambe, the title playfully and provocatively honors the primate while metaphorically positioning the duo as the undisputed "gorillas" or apex predators of their environment—the concrete jungle. The song intensely explores the duality of their rising fame and their persistent personal demons.

$crim’s verses focus on the gritty realities of their past and present: rampant drug addiction, paranoia, gang violence, and a general disdain for societal norms. He emphasizes his preference for chemical numbness over human connection, highlighting a profound sense of nihilism and emotional detachment.

Ruby da Cherry’s half of the song shifts the focus to their growing success and expanding mythos. By repeating "Ruby leveled up," he acknowledges the duo's evolution from unknown outcasts to global phenomena. Yet, this success is intertwined with dark, apocalyptic imagery, suggesting that no amount of fame can fully exorcise the "devils" they continue to wrestle with. Ultimately, the song serves as an anthem of dark triumph—a middle finger to their detractors and a celebration of surviving their own self-destructive tendencies long enough to conquer the underground music world.

The track opens with $crim (under his Scarecrow alter ego) detailing his dominance and fearlessness in dangerous environments. He describes himself navigating through the projects without any need for protection, asserting his status as a "grey born gorilla out the concrete jungle," a metaphor for his raw power and profound connection to G*59.

He delves into his chaotic lifestyle, mentioning shooting up drugs and wielding heavy weaponry, while reflecting on the dark reality of his world where he prefers the numbing effect of narcotics over romantic entanglements. $crim paints a grim picture of betrayal, violence, and self-destruction, referencing codeine use, perpetual bleeding from emotional and physical wounds, and the grim certainty of body bags zipping shut as guns are fired in the streets.

The energy shifts explosively when Ruby da Cherry enters with the iconic and triumphant proclamation that he has "leveled up." He declares that his influence is going global like an epidemic. Ruby portrays himself as a destructive force, casually lighting up gas on a porch out of boredom before passing the blunt to $crim (referred to as $lick).

The narrative then takes a mythological and occult turn as Ruby describes himself wrestling several devils in the 7th Ward of New Orleans. He adopts the persona of the "Seventh Ward dragon" wielding a fiery sword, standing amid an apocalyptic downpour of blood from a red heaven that $lick originally fell from. Together, their verses weave a dark, braggadocious tapestry of addiction, violence, and an unstoppable rise to underground supremacy, blending gritty street realities with demonic, apocalyptic imagery.

The track was released on July 22, 2016, as part of the five-track EP Radical $uicide. This project was a highly anticipated collaborative effort between $uicideboy$ and Getter, a prominent electronic dance music (EDM) and hip-hop producer. At the time, Getter was a major supporter of the underground hip-hop movement and worked closely with $crim (who often produces under the alias Budd Dwyer) to craft the EP's unique sound.

The song's title is widely regarded as a nod to Harambe, the captive gorilla who was controversially shot and killed in May 2016, just two months prior to the EP's release. The internet culture of the time heavily memorialized Harambe, and the duo adopted the moniker as a metaphor for being misunderstood beasts within the rap industry.

The creation process of the EP heavily involved self-sampling; much of Radical $uicide utilized samples from older $uicideboy$ tracks, manipulated and reimagined by Getter and $crim to create a polished yet gritty sonic landscape. "Memoirs of a Gorilla" quickly became a standout track on the project, largely due to its explosive beat and Ruby's infectious vocal delivery.

The song is structured around a pulsating, high-tempo 4/4 meter that demands a visceral physical reaction. $crim's verse utilizes a tight AABB and sometimes AAAA rhyme scheme, leaning heavily on perfect and identical end rhymes to establish a relentless, marching rhythm. Words like hissing, missing, killing, drilling, spilling, healing create a repetitive, almost dizzying rhythmic pocket that mimics the feeling of being trapped in the cycle of violence and addiction he describes.

When the beat transitions to Ruby's verse, the rhythmic structure becomes significantly more complex. Ruby uses a dense mix of internal rhymes and slant rhymes (bored / short / sport / Ward / afford / hoard / sword) to accelerate the pacing. His lyrical rhythm constantly pushes against the boundaries of the musical rhythm, speeding up into double-time flows before pausing for dramatic effect. The interplay between the pounding instrumental and the rapid-fire lyrical execution creates a sense of building tension that eventually explodes, perfectly matching the thematic concept of "leveling up."

Musically, the song is driven by a chaotic, industrial-sounding synthesizer lead crafted by Getter and Budd Dwyer ($crim). The beat features heavy, distorted 808 bass lines and rapid-fire trap hi-hats, creating a soundscape that borders on EDM trap and horrorcore.

Vocally, the track showcases the dynamic contrast between the two members. $crim delivers his verse with a sinister, slow, and gravelly flow, utilizing internal rhymes and consonance ("Snake start hissing / Heads go missing / Rest in piss to the ones I'm killing") to create a hypnotic, rhythmic chanting effect.

Ruby da Cherry, in contrast, enters with an explosive, high-energy delivery. He employs rapid-fire triplets, complex multisyllabic rhymes, and dramatic vocal inflection. The juxtaposition of $crim's lethargic, drug-numbed drawl and Ruby's frantic, aggressive shouting is a hallmark of their stylistic synergy. Literary techniques such as hyperbole ("Ruby gon' global, epidemic proportion") and vivid, macabre imagery ("Blood on my linen from the cuts never healing") heavily reinforce the song's extreme, over-the-top atmosphere.

Since its release, "Memoirs of a Gorilla" has solidified its place as one of the quintessential $uicideboy$ anthems. It is frequently cited by fans as one of the best tracks to introduce newcomers to the group's "hype" sound. The song was instrumental in the commercial success of the Radical $uicide EP, which peaked at number 17 on the Billboard Rap charts—a major milestone for an underground, independent act in 2016.

The phrase "Ruby leveled up" has become a pervasive meme and catchphrase within the underground rap and internet communities, often shouted by fans at concerts and used in social media posts to signify a personal upgrade or an intense moment. Furthermore, the song's production—a seamless blend of aggressive bass music and Memphis-style rap—helped bridge the gap between the EDM and underground hip-hop communities, a cultural crossover that deeply defined much of the Soundcloud rap era of the mid-to-late 2010s.

The central metaphor of the song is the "grey born gorilla," which $crim uses to describe himself. This symbolizes raw strength, dominance, and a primal nature, while "grey" represents G*59 Records, their independent label, and their philosophy of existing in the moral and emotional gray areas of life. The "concrete jungle" is a classic metaphor for the harsh, unforgiving urban environment of New Orleans where they grew up.

Ruby da Cherry's verse is laden with mythical and religious symbolism. He refers to himself as the "Seventh Ward dragon with a fiery sword through the neck," transforming his street persona into an apocalyptic, almost demonic entity. The "Seventh Ward" grounds this mythology in his actual hometown neighborhood. He mentions raining blood from a "red heaven that $lick fell from," symbolizing a corrupted, hellish paradise. By framing $crim ($lick) as a fallen angel, Ruby emphasizes their shared outcast status and their embrace of the dark, anti-establishment aesthetics that define their music. The concept of "leveling up" is borrowed from video game terminology, symbolizing overcoming obstacles, gaining power, and entering a new, more intense phase of their careers.

The most significant recurring phrase, which serves as the unofficial hook and the most memorable moment of the song, is "Ruby leveled up." Repeated consecutively at the beginning of Ruby's verse, it acts as a battle cry and a tonal shift for the entire track. This phrase has transcended the song to become a core motif in the $uicideboy$ fandom, representing overcoming adversity, personal growth, or simply hyping up a massive crowd.

Another recurring motif is the continuous invocation of their alter egos and affiliations. $crim refers to himself as "Scarecrow" and references the "grey" (G*59), while Ruby consistently mentions the "Seventh Ward." This relentless world-building is a staple of their discography, reinforcing a shared universe and a distinct, insular identity that deeply connects with their intensely loyal fanbase.