Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too

At its core, "Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too" is a biting, cynical, and highly satirical commentary on the hyper-sexualized and emotionally hollow hookup and cybersex culture of the early 2000s, catalyzed by the rise of platforms like MySpace and internet chatrooms. The song depicts a protagonist who uses phone sex and digital interactions as a coping mechanism for severe clinical depression, loneliness, and apathy. While the song explicitly describes the mechanics of phone sex—represented by the famous, provocative chorus—the deeper narrative explores the profound emptiness and moral decay of modern relationships.

There is a powerful theme of cognitive dissonance and guilt throughout the track. The protagonist struggles with his actions, famously lamenting that the temptation caused him to forget all the "rules my rabbi taught me in the old shul." This line highlights the conflict between the narrator's Jewish upbringing and his base physical desires, showcasing how easily morals are discarded in the pursuit of cheap, immediate gratification. Furthermore, the narrator views himself as a corrupting force, telling the girl she is "too young to be this empty" and that he will prepare her for a "sick dark world," recognizing that their transactional relationship is mutually destructive.

Max Bemis has clarified that the song is about fifty percent sarcastic and represents a caricature of toxic behaviors in the alternative music scene, which he entered at a young age. Rather than glorifying this behavior, the song is a self-loathing examination of how physical intimacy without emotional connection leaves both parties feeling more isolated than before, culminating in the desperate, repetitive bridge of "I don't know what I want."

The narrative begins with a stark confession of a young man lying paralyzed in bed, consumed by an overwhelming sense of apathy and depression. He envisions that if he were to die and go to hell immediately, his personal purgatory would look exactly like his current bedroom. He foresees spending an eternity wearing nothing but his boxers, in a half-stoned state, with a pillow supporting his head as he wastes away. He describes his routine of chatting on the "interweb," comparing those who inhabit these digital spaces to maggots feeding on the living dead. He admits that during their daily phone conversations, he has absolutely no genuine interest in anything the girl on the other end says, wishing instead that he could permanently hit the hay and escape reality.

Despite this severe emotional detachment, physical impulse takes over. During their calls, she begins to touch and pleasure herself, a bizarre dynamic that offers him a shallow escape and makes him laugh himself to sleep out of sheer cynical disbelief. The protagonist acknowledges his path is self-destructive, fearing that at this rate he is headed straight for the "electric chairs" of moral ruin. He views himself as merely human, struggling to carry his own heavy cross of guilt and raw urges. When the girl describes her underwear to him, his moral foundation crumbles entirely, causing him to forget every rule and ethical lesson his rabbi taught him in the old shul during his upbringing.

He looks at her with a mix of pity and corruption, calling her too young to feel so empty inside, and declares that he will prepare her for a sick, dark world. Even though he knows she will ultimately be his downfall, he is trapped in an obsessive cycle, calling her repeatedly. He is paralyzed by a deep identity crisis, screaming repeatedly that he does not know what he wants, while background voices emphasize the sterile reality of their connection: they met on the internet. Ultimately, the song loops back into the chorus, leaving him trapped in a repetitive, modern nightmare of cybersex, superficial pleasure, and deep-seated isolation.

"Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too" was written and recorded during the highly chaotic and prolific sessions for Say Anything's landmark sophomore album, ...Is a Real Boy, between 2003 and 2004. Frontman Max Bemis wrote the song when he was around nineteen years old, drawing inspiration from his personal experiences entering the indie and emo music scene. During this period, Bemis was battling severe undiagnosed bipolar disorder, which culminated in a major nervous breakdown shortly after the recording sessions.

The album was produced by Tim O'Heir and Stephen Trask (famous for Hedwig and the Angry Inch). While the core album was released in August 2004 by Doghouse Records, "Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too" was initially left off the original tracklist. Its highly electronic, dance-punk sound did not fit the theatrical, guitar-driven rock-opera narrative Bemis had originally envisioned for the record. When the band signed with major label J Records, the album was reissued in February 2006 with a bonus disc of unreleased tracks titled ...Was a Real Boy, where the song finally made its debut. It became an unexpected hit and was officially released as a single on January 30, 2007, propelling the band into the mainstream spotlight.

The lyrical and musical structure of the song plays heavily on contrast and momentum:

Lyrically, the song utilizes a conversational, free-flowing rhyme scheme that relies heavily on slant rhymes and internal rhymes (such as matching "interweb" with "dead," and "bed" with "head"). This casual rhyming style emphasizes the narrator's drug-fueled apathy and lazy, bedridden state in the verses, making his sudden shifts into structured, repetitive chants in the chorus feel abrupt and jarring.

Rhythmically, the song is driven by an upbeat, danceable tempo of approximately 120 BPM. The drum patterns embrace a disco-inflected groove, relying heavily on a driving hi-hat and handclaps. The interplay between this infectious, energetic rhythm and the incredibly bleak, self-loathing lyrics creates a powerful sense of cognitive dissonance, forcing the listener to dance to a narrative of isolation, depression, and moral decline.

Say Anything utilizes several distinctive literary and musical techniques to craft the song's unique, jarring atmosphere:

• Dramatic Vocal Delivery: Max Bemis employs a highly theatrical, sarcastic, and almost manic vocal performance. He shifts from a lazy, slacker drawl in the verses to desperate, throat-shredding screams in the chorus and bridge, mirroring his psychological instability and erratic emotional state.
• Sarcasm and Irony: The entire song is built on a framework of self-deprecating irony. The contrast of the narrator laughing himself to sleep after phone sex highlights a defensive coping mechanism, using cynicism to mask deep-seated shame.
• Dance-Punk Instrumentation: Musically, the track departs from traditional emo-punk by incorporating a bouncy, synthesizer-driven groove, handclaps, a rubbery bassline, and a four-on-the-floor disco beat. This clean, danceable instrumentation directly contrasts the sleazy, depressing lyrics, creating a unique sonic tension.
• Chanting and Call-and-Response: The repetitive background chant of "(Met you on the internet)" acts as a cold, mechanical echo that constantly reminds the listener of the artificial nature of the relationship.

"Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too" stands as one of Say Anything's most successful and culturally significant tracks. Despite its dark and controversial subject matter, it received substantial radio play and became a staple on MTV and VH1, peaking on various alternative charts. The song's legacy was further cemented by its iconic, highly surreal music video, which featured a famous cameo by legendary actor Henry Winkler (known for playing Arthur "The Fonz" Fonzarelli on Happy Days). Winkler, a close friend of the Bemis family, hilariously lip-syncs the provocative "she touched herself" chorus, contributing to the video's viral appeal in the early YouTube era.

The song holds a complex place in the band's history. In November 2017, amid the widespread public reckoning surrounding sexual misconduct and abuse within the music industry, Max Bemis announced he would be retiring the song from their live sets. He stated that the song, as a sarcastic caricature of toxic hookup culture, felt inappropriate to perform in a cultural climate that was actively fighting for consent and respect. However, during their subsequent tours celebrating the legacy of ...Is a Real Boy, the band reintroduced the song to their setlists, with Bemis reflecting on the track as a complex piece of self-loathing art that continues to spark healthy discussions about sexuality, guilt, and the struggles of youth.

The song employs vivid and provocative imagery to highlight the protagonist's internal decay and the superficiality of modern connection:

• The Bedroom as Hell: The opening lines, "If I die and go to hell real soon, / It will appear to me as this room," establish the bedroom not as a sanctuary, but as a purgatory. It symbolizes the prison of his own depression, where isolation and stagnation become his eternal punishment.
• Maggots and the Living Dead: The line "Maggots prey upon the living dead" is a harsh metaphor for the users of online chatrooms. It suggests that those who seek empty, virtual intimacy are spiritually dead, parasitically feeding off one another's loneliness.
• The Rabbi and the Shul: The reference to forgetting the rules his rabbi taught him represents the loss of innocence, cultural identity, and moral grounding. It symbolizes the immediate collapse of lifelong spiritual boundaries when confronted with base physical temptation.
• Electric Chairs: The mention of heading for "electric chairs" symbolizes extreme guilt, self-condemnation, and the psychological reckoning the narrator feels he deserves for using another person for hollow gratification.
• The Downfall: The girl is characterized as his "downfall," a metaphor for temptation and the inevitable crash that follows addictive, self-destructive habits.

Several key motifs and recurring phrases give the song its structure and emotional weight:

• "I called her on the phone and she touched herself... I laughed myself to sleep": This is the central hook of the song, repeated throughout to reinforce the narrator's emotional detachment. The laughter is not joyful; it is a hysterical, cynical reaction to the absurdity of his own isolation and the hollow substitute for real human connection he has resorted to.
• "I don't know what I want": Repeated over a dozen times during the chaotic bridge, this phrase serves as a mantra of paralysis. It highlights the protagonist's profound identity crisis, showing that despite having endless access to instant digital gratification, he remains completely unfulfilled and directionless.
• "(Met you on the internet)": This background refrain operates as a recurring motif of artificiality, continuously popping up to strip away any illusion of genuine romance or intimacy from their interactions.