Always

Always by Saliva is a raw exploration of a dysfunctional and volatile relationship, often interpreted as a depiction of domestic abuse or a toxic trauma bond. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of the oscillation between intense dependency and explosive anger, a hallmark of abusive dynamics.

At its core, the song addresses the confusion and desperation of being trapped with someone you cannot live with, yet feel you cannot live without. The famous chorus line, "I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you," perfectly encapsulates the cognitive dissonance experienced by victims and perpetrators in toxic cycles. It speaks to an addiction to the intensity of the relationship, where pain and love become indistinguishable.

The song takes a darker turn in the bridge with the line "the pistol shaking in my hand," (sometimes censored as "anger" in radio edits). This suggests that the relationship has escalated to a life-threatening level. It implies that the emotional turmoil has pushed the narrator to the brink of committing a violent act, either out of self-defense, retaliation, or sheer desperation to end the suffering. Lead singer Josey Scott has confirmed that the song was inspired by a real-life situation involving domestic violence, giving weight to the interpretation that this is a warning about the dangers of unchecked emotional volatility.

The narrative begins with a confrontation of truth and perception. The narrator addresses a partner, questioning the validity of their reality and suggesting that the partner is hiding behind a veil of deceit. There is a deep sense of interrogation as the narrator asks if they are truly the sole object of the partner's desire, or merely the source of their pain and tears. This opening sets a tone of suspicion and insecurity, highlighting the fragility of their bond.

As the song progresses, the internal conflict erupts into a confession of paradoxical emotions. The narrator is trapped in a cycle of extreme polarity, declaring a simultaneous and overwhelming sense of love and hatred. They describe a physical and emotional dependency that borders on addiction, admitting that despite the toxicity, they are unable to exist independently of this person. The relationship is depicted not as a partnership, but as a consuming force that permeates their senses—breathing and tasting the other person—while acknowledging the impossibility of escape.

The tension escalates to a breaking point in the bridge, where the emotional turmoil manifests as a visceral, dangerous physical reaction. The narrator describes a moment of potential violence, holding a weapon with shaking hands, symbolizing the terrifying peak of their frustration and desperation. The climax resolves into a resignation of sorts, acknowledging the permanent scar this relationship has left, reinforcing the idea that this cycle of intense passion and destruction will, in some form, endure indefinitely.

Always was released in late 2002 as the lead single from Saliva's third studio album, Back into Your System. The song was co-written by the band's frontman, Josey Scott, and the album's producer, Bob Marlette. This track marked a stylistic shift for the band, moving slightly away from the rap-rock aggression of their previous hit Click Click Boom toward a more melodic, post-grunge sound.

In interviews, Josey Scott revealed that the song was inspired by a traumatic event involving his girlfriend's sister. She had been trapped in a violent and abusive relationship, and Scott channeled the anger and helplessness he felt witnessing her situation into the lyrics. He described taking that external experience and applying it to his own emotions to create the narrative. The song became the band's most successful single on the rock charts, reaching number one on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart in 2003.

The song follows a standard verse-chorus structure (Verse-Chorus-Verse-Chorus-Bridge-Chorus). The rhyme scheme in the verses is generally ABAB or AABB variations, often using slant rhymes (e.g., "blind" and "hide", "breathe" and "cry") to maintain a conversational and unsettled flow.

Rhythmically, the song is in 4/4 time with a moderate tempo that drags slightly, enhancing the feeling of a heavy, emotional burden. The rhythm section (bass and drums) locks into a heavy, stomping groove during the choruses, providing a solid foundation for the anthemic melody, while the verses remain rhythmically sparse to let the vocals take center stage.

Musically, Always employs the quiet-loud dynamics characteristic of the post-grunge and nu-metal era. The verses feature a clean, acoustic guitar melody accompanied by Scott's restrained, almost whispering vocals, creating an atmosphere of intimacy and tension. This sharply contrasts with the chorus, where distorted electric guitars and crashing drums kick in, mirroring the explosion of anger and emotional release.

Vocalist Josey Scott utilizes a gritty, raspy delivery that adds a layer of raw authenticity to the lyrics. In the bridge, his vocals become more aggressive and strained, mimicking the rising panic and rage of the narrative. The production also uses a breakdown section to build suspense before the final chorus, enhancing the dramatic impact of the song's climax.

Always remains Saliva's most commercially successful and recognizable song. It reached #1 on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart and peaked at #51 on the Billboard Hot 100, bringing the band mainstream attention beyond the nu-metal scene. Its success cemented Saliva's status as a staple of early 2000s hard rock.

The song solidified its place in pop culture through its association with World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), serving as the official theme song for the Survivor Series 2002 pay-per-view event. This exposure introduced the track to a massive global audience. The music video, which features a man haunted by a woman in an abandoned city, received heavy rotation on MTV and other music channels, further embedding the song in the visual language of the era's rock music.

The lyrics rely heavily on sensory metaphors to describe the suffocating nature of the relationship. Phrases like "I breathe you, I taste you" symbolize an all-consuming obsession, where the partner is not just a companion but a physiological necessity, like air or food. This illustrates the depth of the codependency.

The most potent symbol in the song is the pistol. Whether literal or metaphorical, the "pistol shaking in my hand" represents the tipping point of the conflict. It symbolizes the ultimate loss of control and the potential for lethal consequences. The fact that the hand is "shaking" indicates fear, hesitation, and the adrenaline of a fight-or-flight response, humanizing the narrator's struggle between violence and restraint. Additionally, the recurring word "Always" acts as a grim promise of the cycle's endurance—suggesting that the scars and the memory of this pain are permanent.

The central hook, "I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you," is the song's most significant motif. Its repetition emphasizes the cyclical nature of the toxic relationship—a pendulum swinging endlessly between affection and animosity. The word "Always" is repeated as a rhythmic mantra, reinforcing the idea of entrapment; the situation feels eternal and inescapable. The repetition of "I just can't take anymore" serves as a desperate plea that goes unanswered, highlighting the narrator's powerlessness.