Messy

"Messy" by Lola Young is a raw and brutally honest anthem about the struggle for self-acceptance in the face of contradictory and hypocritical external judgment, particularly within a close relationship. The song delves into the emotional turmoil of trying to meet conflicting expectations, leading to a profound sense of frustration and a desperate plea for authenticity. Young has described the song as an "ADHD anthem," reflecting her own experiences with the condition and the feeling of being pulled between extremes – one day being "too messy" and the next "too clean." It's a candid exploration of her own complexities and imperfections, as well as a commentary on dealing with narcissistic behavior from others.

Lyrically, the song details a relationship where the protagonist is constantly criticized for who she is. No matter what she does, it's never right. This is powerfully encapsulated in the chorus where she lists the impossible dualities she's expected to embody: "'Cause I'm too messy, and then I'm too f---ing clean / You told me, 'Get a job', then you ask where the hell I've been." This highlights the no-win situation she finds herself in, a classic feature of emotional manipulation. The core message of the song is a powerful assertion of identity and the right to be oneself, with the recurring and poignant question, "I want to be me, is that not allowed?". It's a song that champions the acceptance of one's own chaotic and imperfect nature in a world that often demands a polished and consistent facade.

The song begins with the narrator expressing her impatience and frustration with someone who has left her waiting in the cold. She acknowledges their perspective but is too emotionally exhausted to listen to their advice, which often feels more like a dire prediction about her future. She openly admits to her habits and perceived flaws, like smoking heavily and having moments of instability, using the reference "pull a Britney" to describe her periodic breakdowns. Despite these admissions, she pleads for understanding and questions who this person wants her to be, as she feels constantly pulled in different directions.

The chorus is a powerful explosion of these contradictory pressures. She's criticized for being "too messy" and then "too fucking clean." She's told to get a job, but then questioned about her whereabouts when she's busy working. She feels she's seen as "too perfect" until she speaks her mind, and she desperately asks if she's even allowed to be herself. The criticism extends to her intelligence, being labeled "too clever" and then "too fucking dumb." Her emotional expressions are also policed; her crying is only acceptable if it's attributed to her menstrual cycle. She feels that she could be a thousand different people for this person, and yet they would still find fault with every single one.

The second verse continues to detail her frustration. She points out the other person's hypocrisy, noting their own substance use as a way to cope while simultaneously judging her. She describes working hard all day, only to be met with disapproving looks when she has a couple of bottles of wine. She confronts them about getting stoned and then coming home to her, not even saying hello because she was high and forgot to do a simple chore like folding clothes. This verse reinforces the double standards and the constant scrutiny she is under, where her own coping mechanisms are judged while the other person's are seemingly ignored. The song's structure, with its recurring and increasingly intense chorus, emphasizes the cyclical and inescapable nature of this toxic dynamic, culminating in a raw and emotional expression of the desire for self-acceptance amidst relentless criticism.

Lola Young wrote the initial version of "Messy" in her bedroom. The song started with two simple chords and the opening line, "You know I'm impatient." From there, it evolved into a song about feeling like she's never enough for someone, no matter how hard she tries. Young has stated that lyrics are the most important part of songwriting for her and that she cares a lot about poetry. She has also mentioned that her recent diagnosis of severe ADHD influenced the song, which she describes as being about the complexities of how she feels about herself and dealing with narcissistic men.

The song was recorded at 64Sound in Los Angeles, an analog studio that Young described as feeling like a studio from the '70s. The production team included Solomonophonic, Manuka (a duo consisting of William Brown and Conor Dickinson), Monsune, and Carter Lang. The recording process involved a live studio session with Will Brown on drums, Conor Dickinson on acoustic guitar, Jared Solomon (Solomonophonic) on bass, and Scott on a CS60 synthesizer, while Lola sang in the vocal booth. They did multiple takes to capture the right feeling, and Young recalls losing her voice during the recording, which contributed to the raw and slightly imperfect vocal take that ultimately made the song feel special and true to its theme. The song was released on May 30, 2024, as the sixth single from her second studio album, "This Wasn't Meant for You Anyway."

"Messy" utilizes a loose and conversational rhyme scheme that contributes to its raw, diary-entry-like feel. The song predominantly uses near or imperfect rhymes, which enhances its natural, spoken-word quality. For instance, in the verses, rhymes like "advice" and "thirty-three" or "chimney" and "Britney" have similar vowel sounds but aren't perfect matches. This avoidance of a strict, predictable rhyme scheme makes the lyrics feel more like a spontaneous outpouring of emotion rather than a polished, structured piece.

A notable exception to this is the line in the chorus, "'Cause I'm too messy, and then I'm too fucking clean / You told me, 'Get a job', then you ask where the hell I've been." The perfect rhyme between "clean" and "been" is a deliberate choice. It provides a moment of structural tidiness that ironically coincides with the lyric about being "clean," a clever example of the lyrical form mirroring its content.

The rhythm of the song is in a moderate tempo, around 100-110 bpm, and follows a typical verse-chorus structure. The rhythmic delivery of the vocals is particularly significant. In the verses, Young's phrasing is more relaxed and conversational, but as the song builds to the chorus, the rhythm of her vocals becomes more forceful and urgent, driving home the emotional intensity of the lyrics. This interplay between the lyrical and musical rhythm creates a dynamic and compelling listening experience.

"Messy" employs a range of stylistic techniques, both musically and lyrically, to create its raw and impactful effect.

Literary Techniques:

• Direct Address and Conversational Tone: The lyrics are written as if a direct conversation or a heated voicemail, creating a sense of immediacy and raw emotion. Phrases like "Can you shut up for like once in your life?" and the general storytelling nature make the listener feel like a direct observer of the conflict.
• Juxtaposition and Antithesis: The chorus is built around stark contrasts: "too messy" vs. "too fucking clean," and "too clever" vs. "too fucking dumb." This constant opposition highlights the contradictory and impossible standards the narrator is subjected to.
• Rhetorical Questions: The recurring question, "I want to be me, is that not allowed?", is a powerful rhetorical device that underscores the central theme of the song – the struggle for self-acceptance against external judgment.

Musical Techniques:

• Vocal Delivery: Young's vocal performance is a key element. It shifts from a conversational, almost spoken-word style in the verses to a more powerful, strained, and emotionally charged delivery in the chorus. This dynamic range mirrors the song's emotional arc from simmering frustration to outright anger and desperation. Some critics note that while powerful, her technique of pushing for high notes can create vocal strain.
• Instrumentation and Arrangement: The song begins with a simple arrangement of guitar and drums, gradually building in intensity. The bassline is described as a groovy and slinking presence that holds the song together. The overall production has influences from '90s hip-hop, folk, and pop, creating a unique soul-pop blend. The song is built on just two chords (D major and E major) that loop without resolving to the root chord (A major), creating a sense of unresolved tension that mirrors the lyrical content.
• Production Choices: The vocal production intentionally leaves in imperfections, such as breaths and slight pitch variations, to enhance the song's raw and authentic feel. The use of double-tracked vocals in the chorus adds weight and power to the emotional statements.

"Messy" has had a significant cultural impact since its release, largely propelled by its viral success on TikTok. The song gained massive popularity after being used in videos by prominent social media personalities like Kylie Jenner and Sofia Richie, leading to its use in hundreds of thousands of TikTok videos. This viral traction translated into remarkable chart success worldwide. The song topped the UK Singles Chart for four consecutive weeks and also reached number one in countries like Australia, Ireland, and Belgium. In the United States, it peaked at number 14 on the Billboard Hot 100. It was also named the UK's biggest song of 2025 so far.

The song's raw honesty and relatable themes of dealing with contradictory expectations and embracing imperfection have resonated deeply with a wide audience, particularly Gen Z. It has been hailed as an "ADHD anthem" and a powerful statement on self-acceptance. Critics have praised the song for its gritty vocals and world-class lyrical storytelling. The success of "Messy" has significantly boosted Lola Young's international profile, leading to performances on major television shows like "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" and a collaboration with Tyler, the Creator. The song is seen as a defining track in her discography and has solidified her position as a rising star in the music industry.

"Messy" is rich with symbolism and metaphors that underscore its themes of internal conflict and external judgment.

• "Messy" vs. "Clean": This central metaphor represents the conflicting expectations placed upon the narrator. It's not just about physical tidiness but about her entire being – one moment she's criticized for her chaotic nature ("messy"), and the next for being too controlled or put-together ("clean"). This duality symbolizes the impossible standards she's held to and her struggle to find a balanced sense of self amidst this criticism. Lola Young herself has said the song is an "ADHD anthem," reflecting this internal state of being pulled between extremes.
• "Pull a Britney": This is a direct cultural reference to the public struggles of Britney Spears. By using this phrase, Young not only injects a touch of dark humor but also powerfully conveys a sense of vulnerability and being on the edge of a breakdown due to immense pressure. It's a shorthand for a very public and scrutinized form of emotional distress, making her own feelings relatable on a larger cultural scale.
• "A thousand people I could be for you, and you hate the fucking lot": This hyperbolic statement metaphorically illustrates the futility of her efforts to please her partner. It's not about a literal thousand personas, but about the endless and exhausting ways she has tried to change or adapt, only to be met with disapproval every time. It symbolizes the realization that the problem isn't her, but the other person's inability to accept her for who she is.

The most prominent recurring phrase in "Messy" is the chorus, which acts as the song's emotional and thematic core. The lines, "'Cause I'm too messy, and then I'm too fucking clean / You told me, 'Get a job', then you ask where the hell I've been / And I'm too perfect, till I open my big mouth" are repeated multiple times, each time with increasing intensity. This repetition drills home the central conflict of the song: the inescapable and contradictory criticisms the narrator faces.

The desperate, recurring question, "I want to be me, is that not allowed?" serves as a powerful motif that encapsulates the song's central plea for self-acceptance. Its repetition throughout the song transforms it from a simple question into a defiant anthem for anyone who has felt constrained by the expectations of others.

The phrase "you hate the fucking lot" also recurs at the end of the chorus, emphasizing the narrator's feeling of hopelessness and the realization that no matter what version of herself she presents, it will be met with disdain. This repetition highlights the toxic and unwinnable nature of the dynamic she is in.

Musically, the song is built on a recurring two-chord progression that never fully resolves, creating a feeling of constant tension and being unsettled, which musically mirrors the lyrical themes of messiness and emotional turmoil.