THATS WHAT I WANT

"THATS WHAT I WANT" is a deeply personal and vulnerable expression of longing for genuine love and companionship. At its core, the song is an anthem about the universal human need for a committed, loving relationship, moving beyond fleeting encounters. Lil Nas X articulates a desire for a partner who offers not just physical intimacy but also emotional support and stability. He sings about wanting a "boy who can cuddle with me all night," highlighting a need for comfort and security. The lyrics openly express loneliness ("These days, I'm way too lonely") and the feeling of being unfulfilled in a life of fame without a significant other. The song challenges norms within the hip-hop genre, which often focuses on themes of machismo and casual relationships, by presenting a raw and unapologetic plea for queer love and emotional depth. It's a statement about seeking a soulmate, someone who can be an "adversary to my down to marry," suggesting a partner who is both a challenge and a lifelong companion.

The song opens with a direct and simple plea for companionship, a desire for someone to provide comfort and affection throughout the night, to be a source of warmth and light. This ideal partner is not just for peaceful moments; the narrator is open to the realities of a relationship, including arguments and fights, suggesting a desire for a real, passionate connection rather than a superficial one. He paints a specific picture of his desired lover: an Afro-sporting, dark-skinned Black man with gold teeth, someone who looks at him with a sense of familiarity and understanding. There's a moment of uncertainty and curiosity as he wonders about this man's sexuality, questioning if he is gay or bisexual, before the man approaches him.

A recurring theme of profound loneliness surfaces. The narrator feels he is missing out on life and is tired of being alone. He acknowledges a habit of giving his love away, perhaps too freely or to those who don't reciprocate, which reinforces his current craving for a meaningful bond. The chorus is an explosive, unfiltered declaration of this core desire. He yearns for someone to love him and, just as importantly, someone who needs him in return. The feeling of being alone with only his dreams for company at night feels fundamentally wrong, leading to the emphatic, curse-laden proclamation that a loving partner is what he truly wants.

The search for this connection is acknowledged as being difficult in the current social landscape, but his mind is consumed with the thought of finding love. He wants this love in his prime, a time when he is at his peak. He seeks a partner who can be a counter-force to his moments of despair, someone who can offer reassurance and comfort when he's stressed at night, reminding him that everything will be alright. The request is specific: he desires his partner's love, their physical presence, and their intellect. This underlines a need for a holistic relationship that encompasses emotional, physical, and mental connection. The loneliness he feels is a powerful undercurrent, a state of being too isolated for too long. This sense of isolation fuels his ultimate, repeated cry for someone to love, a raw and honest expression of a universal human need.

"THATS WHAT I WANT" was written by Lil Nas X (Montero Hill) alongside its producers: Omer Fedi, Blake Slatkin, Ryan Tedder of OneRepublic, and Keegan Bach (KBeaZy). The song was recorded in 2020 and released on September 17, 2021, as the fourth single from his debut studio album, Montero. Lil Nas X first teased a snippet of the song on TikTok on February 14, 2021, Valentine's Day. It was also previewed in an August 2021 Taco Bell commercial and during the end credits of the "INDUSTRY BABY" music video. Ryan Tedder, one of the producers, commented that the song's success is intrinsically linked to Lil Nas X's cultural relevance, stating that while it sounded like a hit from the beginning, it wouldn't have had the same impact with a different artist. The song's creation was part of a broader project for the Montero album, where Lil Nas X aimed to explore more personal and autobiographical themes.

The song follows a conventional verse-chorus structure, which is typical for pop music and contributes to its catchiness. The rhyme scheme is generally simple and effective, often using couplets (AABB) in the verses, such as "all night / sunlight" and "fight / tonight". This straightforward scheme makes the lyrics memorable and easy to sing along to. The rhythm is driven by a breezy, upbeat tempo with a strong backbeat provided by hand claps and percussion. This energetic rhythm creates a compelling contrast with the lyrical themes of loneliness and yearning, giving the song a bittersweet feeling of hopeful desperation. The interplay between the lyrical rhythm and the musical rhythm is tight, with Lil Nas X's vocal phrasing syncing perfectly with the pop-rock instrumentation, enhancing the song's infectious energy and emotional punch.

Musically, "THATS WHAT I WANT" employs a vibrant pop-rock style, characterized by an upbeat tempo, acoustic guitar strums, hand claps, and bright synthesizer notes. Critics frequently compared its energetic and catchy sound to Outkast's "Hey Ya!". The arrangement builds into a powerful chorus with a background choir that enhances the anthemic quality of his plea. Lyrically, Lil Nas X uses a direct and conversational narrative voice, making his emotional state immediately accessible. He specifies his ideal partner—"An afro, black boy with the gold teeth"—which grounds the universal theme of longing in a specific, personal, and unapologetically queer context. The production technique of layering vocals on key phrases like "someone to love" adds emphasis and emotional weight. His vocal delivery shifts from a softer, more melodic singing in the verses to a raw, almost shouted declaration in the chorus, effectively conveying his desperation and passion.

"THATS WHAT I WANT" achieved significant commercial success and cultural impact. It debuted in the top ten of the Billboard Hot 100 in the U.S. and the UK Singles Chart. The song reached number one on the Mainstream Top 40 chart, marking Lil Nas X's third consecutive number-one on that chart. Its music video, with its explicit homage to Brokeback Mountain and unapologetically queer narrative, was widely discussed and praised for its bold representation of gay love and desire in mainstream media. The video features actor Billy Porter and Lil Nas X's then-rumored boyfriend, dancer Yai Ariza, further cementing its status as a significant cultural moment for LGBTQ+ visibility. The song's success solidified Lil Nas X's position as a genre-bending pop superstar who uses his platform to tell explicitly queer stories, challenging heteronormative standards in both hip-hop and pop music.

The most potent symbolism in "THATS WHAT I WANT" is found in its acclaimed music video, directed by STILLZ. The video contains a direct and powerful homage to the 2005 film Brokeback Mountain, a landmark in queer cinema. The scenes of Lil Nas X and his love interest as cowboys, sharing intimate moments by a campfire and in a tent, visually echo the film's narrative of a forbidden and tragic romance. This reference deepens the song's theme of yearning for love while also highlighting the potential for heartbreak and societal obstacles, as the love interest is later revealed to have a wife and child. The final scene, where Lil Nas X walks down a church aisle in a wedding dress alone, only to be handed an electric guitar by a priest (played by Billy Porter), is rich with symbolism. It can be interpreted as a commentary on self-love and marrying oneself in the face of heartbreak, or a union with his art and music as his ultimate, constant companion. The act of playing a guitar solo in tears signifies channeling his pain and desire into his creative expression.

The most significant recurring phrase is the song's title and central hook: "That's what I want." This phrase, culminating in the more emphatic "That's what I fuckin' want," acts as the emotional climax of the song. Its repetition drills home the central theme of intense desire and desperation for love. The motif of loneliness is also recurrent, with lines like "These days, I'm way too lonely" and "These days, I'm way too alone" appearing in the pre-chorus to build emotional tension leading into the cathartic chorus. The concept of needing "someone to love me / I need, someone who needs me" is another key recurring motif, emphasizing the desire for reciprocal affection and validation, a partnership of mutual need and desire that goes beyond simple attraction.