FML

The song "FML" serves as a raw and deeply personal exploration of Kanye West's internal conflicts regarding fame, marital fidelity, and mental health. The title itself is a crucial double entendre, simultaneously standing for the colloquial "Fuck My Life" and the more heartfelt "For My Lady." This duality encapsulates the song's core theme: the battle between West's self-destructive impulses and his profound commitment to his then-wife, Kim Kardashian, and their family.

Lyrically, West lays bare his vulnerabilities. He begins by affirming his devotion, stating he's been "waiting for a minute / For my lady" and cannot jeopardize their relationship for casual temptations. This sets up the central conflict—a conscious decision to forsake a promiscuous lifestyle for the sake of his family. He speaks of making it his "mission" to "give up the women / Before I lose half of what I own," a stark admission of what is at stake.

The Weeknd's feature on the hook provides a darker, contrasting perspective that also reinforces the theme of self-sabotage. His lyrics, "I wish I would go ahead and fuck my life up / Can't let them get to me / And even though I always fuck my life up / Only I can mention me," speak to a reckless impulse while also asserting a defiant ownership over his own narrative and flaws.

A significant layer of the song's meaning comes from its candid references to mental health. West explicitly mentions the antidepressant Lexapro, linking his erratic behavior and emotional volatility to being off his medication ("You ain't never seen nothing crazier than this nigga when he off his Lexapro"). This line, and the recounting of a past "episode," provides a rare and unfiltered look into the pressures and struggles accompanying his public life, making the song one of his most honest and vulnerable tracks.

The narrative opens with a declaration of commitment and fidelity. The protagonist acknowledges he has been patiently waiting for his significant other, his "lady," and is determined not to jeopardize their relationship for fleeting temptations, represented by "one of these hoes." He asserts control over his own life and business, stating he lives without limits but is the sole person in charge. His dedication extends fiercely to his children, for whom he would willingly sacrifice his life. This sense of responsibility prompts a spiritual plea; he declares himself willing to make it his mission to give up other women to avoid losing half of his possessions, implying the devastating personal and financial cost of a potential divorce. He is in a state of deep reflection, pouring out his feelings and revealing the profound layers of his soul.

This internal struggle is echoed and amplified by another voice, which sings of a self-destructive urge. This voice expresses a wish to "go ahead and fuck my life up," yet simultaneously displays a defiant resistance to external judgment, insisting that detractors cannot get to him. There's a candid admission of a pattern of self-sabotage—"even though I always fuck my life up"—followed by the powerful assertion that "Only I can mention me." This refrain underscores a theme of ultimate ownership over one's own failures and narrative; criticism is only valid when it is self-directed.

The protagonist then shifts to a more confrontational and specific recollection of his erratic behavior, warning his partner that they have never witnessed the true extent of his instability, particularly when he is off his antidepressant medication, Lexapro. He brings up volatile memories, referencing a tumultuous time in Mexico and a specific "episode." He recounts questioning his partner about why she tests his boundaries, reminding her that he has repeatedly warned her not to. A loss of self-control is acknowledged, yet he admonishes her for raising her voice at him, especially in a public place like a Giuseppe Zanotti store. Despite the tension, he confidently predicts he will have the last laugh because of his resilient Chicago roots. The outro fades with a haunting, repetitive chant, almost like a mantra, about external forces not wanting to see their love succeed: "They don't wanna see me love you." This final thought frames their relationship as a defiant act against a world that wishes for its demise.

"FML" was recorded between 2015 and 2016 for Kanye West's seventh studio album, The Life of Pablo, which was released on February 14, 2016. The track features a prominent collaboration with Canadian singer The Weeknd. An earlier demo version of the song existed, which featured Travis Scott instead of The Weeknd and included a different sample. Additionally, a leaked demo titled "Fall Out of Heaven," featuring The-Dream and Bon Iver, contained an outro that repurposed the same sample used in the final version of "FML."

The song's production is credited to a host of notable figures. West and Mitus are listed as the main producers, with co-production from Metro Boomin, Noah Goldstein, and Mike Dean. Charlie Heat, Hudson Mohawke, and Andrew Dawson provided additional production. The extensive list of collaborators is characteristic of West's production style during this era, often involving a collective of talent to build complex soundscapes.

A key sonic element of "FML" is its outro, which heavily samples the song "Hit" by the English post-punk band Section 25, from their 1981 album Always Now. Members of Section 25, Bethany and Vincent Cassidy, later praised West for his use of their work. Following the initial release of The Life of Pablo, West famously continued to alter and update the album. In June 2016, changes were made to "FML," which included making the vocals louder and adding background vocals to The Weeknd's hook.

The rhyme and rhythm in "FML" are structured to reflect the song's thematic progression from agitated internal monologue to a more fluid, atmospheric conclusion. Kanye West's verses largely employ an irregular rhyme scheme, favoring internal rhymes and slant rhymes over a strict, predictable pattern. This creates a conversational, almost stream-of-consciousness feel that mirrors his turbulent mental state. For example, in the first verse, he rhymes "minute" with "limits" and "given," and connects "lady" with "jeopardize that." The rhythm of his delivery is syncopated and intentionally slightly off-kilter, emphasizing the raw, unfiltered nature of his confession.

The song's tempo is slow and deliberate, built upon a minimalist, trap-influenced beat during the verses. The rhythm is dominated by a heavy, distorted bass and sparse percussion, leaving ample space for West's vocals to carry the emotional weight. This creates a sense of tension and unease.

A significant rhythmic and structural shift occurs with the introduction of The Weeknd's chorus and the outro. The Weeknd's vocal delivery is smoother and more melodic, adhering to a more structured rhythm that provides a hypnotic, repetitive quality. This transitions into the outro, which is driven by the sampled bassline from Section 25's "Hit." This section introduces a more consistent, post-punk-inspired rhythm that feels both relentless and melancholic, creating a hypnotic effect that allows the song's final, haunting sentiments to linger.

"FML" employs a range of stylistic techniques, both musically and lyrically, to create its conflicted and haunting atmosphere. Musically, the song is structured around a dramatic shift in tone. Kanye West's verses are delivered in his signature raw, often confrontational style, enhanced by Auto-Tune, over a sparse, brooding beat. This contrasts sharply with the latter part of the song, which transitions into an atmospheric and melodic outro featuring The Weeknd's smooth vocals.

A key musical technique is the use of sampling. The song's outro is built around a sample of "Hit" by the post-punk band Section 25. The eerie, driving bassline and minimalist feel of the original track are repurposed to create a sense of anxious contemplation, which underpins the song's emotional climax. The production itself is layered, with contributions from multiple high-profile producers like Metro Boomin and Mike Dean, resulting in a soundscape that is both minimalist and complex.

Lyrically, West utilizes a confessional, stream-of-consciousness narrative voice. He employs direct address, speaking to his wife and to God, making the listener a party to his most private thoughts and pleas. The lyrical content is marked by its brutal honesty, particularly in its references to mental health medication ("Lexapro") and marital strife, a technique that blurs the line between his artistic persona and personal life. The rhetorical device of the double-entendre in the title ("For My Lady" / "Fuck My Life") serves as the central pillar around which the entire lyrical theme of duality is constructed.

"FML" was released as part of the critically acclaimed and highly anticipated album The Life of Pablo in 2016. While not released as a single, the song made a notable commercial impact, charting on the Billboard Hot 100 at number 84 in the US, as well as in the UK and Canada. Its charting performance was significant for a non-single album track.

The song is often cited as one of the most personal and vulnerable moments on the album, contributing to the record's narrative of a man grappling with fame, faith, and family. Critics highlighted its raw honesty, particularly its direct reference to mental health struggles and antidepressant medication (Lexapro), which was seen as a candid moment in a genre that has historically stigmatized such discussions. NME included it in a list of the top 50 songs about depression.

The track is also significant for its musical composition, particularly the integration of a sample from the relatively obscure British post-punk band Section 25. This creative choice was praised for its inventiveness and for bridging genres, introducing the band's work to a new generation of listeners. Within West's own family, the song was a favorite; both his sister-in-law Kylie Jenner and his then-wife Kim Kardashian cited "FML" as one of their favorite tracks from the album. It remains a key track for understanding the complex, confessional nature of West's artistry during the The Life of Pablo era.

"FML" is rich with symbolism and metaphors that articulate Kanye West's internal turmoil. The central metaphor is the double meaning of the title itself, representing the duality of his life: "For My Lady" symbolizes his devotion, family, and the path of righteousness, while "Fuck My Life" embodies his self-destructive tendencies, the temptations of fame, and his struggles with mental health.

The lyrics contain several symbolic references. The phrase "lose half of what I own" is a literal reference to the financial consequences of divorce but also symbolizes the immense personal loss he would face if his commitment fails. It represents the tangible price of succumbing to his inner demons. The mention of being "off his Lexapro" is a direct reference to his mental health struggles but also serves as a metaphor for a state of utter unpredictability and loss of control, a raw nerve exposed to the world.

The Weeknd's chorus acts as a personification of West's darker impulses, a voice that actively wishes for self-sabotage. However, the line "Only I can mention me" is a powerful metaphor for reclaiming one's narrative. It suggests that while he may be flawed, the right to critique and define himself belongs to him alone, a defense against public scrutiny. Finally, the closing refrain, "They don't wanna see me love you," transforms his marriage into a symbol of defiance. It frames his commitment not just as a personal choice, but as an act of rebellion against unnamed antagonists—be it the media, the public, or internal demons—who thrive on his failure.

The most significant recurring element in "FML" is the title's acronym itself, which functions as a central motif embodying the song's duality. It appears implicitly in Kanye West's opening dedication "For my, lady" and is then explicitly inverted in The Weeknd's hook, "I wish I would go ahead and fuck my life up." This juxtaposition is the core of the song, representing the constant battle between devotion and self-destruction.

The phrase "Only I can mention me," sung by The Weeknd, is a crucial recurring phrase in the chorus. Its repetition reinforces a theme of defiant autonomy and self-ownership. It insists that despite his acknowledged pattern of mistakes ("even though I always fuck my life up"), the right to pass judgment is his alone, a protective stance against external criticism.

Another powerful recurring motif is the idea of external forces wishing for his failure, which culminates in the outro's chant: "They don't wanna see me love you." This line, repeated over the haunting Section 25 sample, transforms a personal commitment into a public act of defiance. It suggests that his relationship is under siege, and maintaining it is a victory against an unseen, malevolent "they." This motif of persecution and the fight to protect his family and sanity is woven throughout the album The Life of Pablo and is particularly potent in this track.