What Once Was

"What Once Was" by Her's is a poignant exploration of nostalgia, longing, and the acceptance of change. The song delves into the bittersweet act of looking back on a cherished time or relationship that has passed. The lyrics convey a deep sense of yearning for the past, for moments that can be remembered but not relived. It touches on the fleeting nature of emotions and memories, acknowledging that while they were powerful, they may not hold the same intensity in the present. The central theme is the universal human experience of grappling with change and the complex emotions tied to love and the passage of time. While there's a strong element of nostalgia, there is also an undercurrent of acceptance, a realization that the past must remain in the past. The song can be interpreted as a reflection on a past relationship, where the narrator is coming to terms with its end and the profound impact it had. Some interpretations also connect the song's themes of loss to personal experiences of the band members, adding another layer of emotional depth.

The song begins with a sense of inevitability, an acknowledgment of a truth the narrator had been refusing to face. There's a decision to retreat, to go back inside and sit with someone, suggesting a need for comfort and perhaps a difficult conversation. The atmosphere is tinged with the knowledge that something is fundamentally wrong.

The narrator observes their friends, who are putting on a brave front but are clearly unsettled, their metaphorical tails between their legs. There's a sense of an unspoken understanding, a shared awareness of an impending difficult situation. The narrator imagines their friends' mothers advising them on the very challenge they are about to confront, a premonition of hardship.

The chorus reveals a deep-seated empathy born from past experience. The narrator has been in this emotional place before, at a point of desperation where all they wanted was someone to hold onto. Despite the passage of time, they are still clinging to that feeling, perpetually waiting at the end of their emotional rope for a return to what used to be. This longing for the past is a central, recurring theme.

A plea for connection and understanding follows, a desire to know the intimate details of the other person's life: their favorite color, what makes them resilient. There's a vulnerability in this request, a fear of being let go when things become too much, culminating in a metaphorical kneeling, a posture of supplication.

The chorus repeats, reinforcing the cyclical nature of this emotional state. The feeling of being at a breaking point, wanting someone, and still hanging on, is a persistent reality for the narrator. The song concludes with the repeated phrase "Waiting for my love," a simple yet profound expression of hope and longing for a love that exists in memory, a poignant echo of "what once was."

"What Once Was" was released as a single by the Liverpool-based duo Her's, composed of Stephen Fitzpatrick and Audun Laading. The song was officially released on May 12, 2016, and later included on their compilation album "Songs of Her's," which was released on May 12, 2017. The band, formed in 2015, consisted of Fitzpatrick on vocals and guitar, and Laading on bass and backing vocals, with the use of a programmed drum machine. They met at the Liverpool Institute for Performing Arts and quickly bonded over their unique sense of humor and musical tastes. "What Once Was" is considered one of their earliest and most defining tracks. According to some sources, the song references the death of Stephen Fitzpatrick's mother when he was young, with Audun Laading playfully calling it Fitzpatrick's 'magnum opus'. The song, like their other early material, was produced by the band themselves. The duo's career was tragically cut short in March 2019 when they, along with their tour manager, were killed in a car accident while on tour in the United States.

The rhyme scheme in "What Once Was" is relatively simple and direct, which contributes to its conversational and heartfelt tone. The verses tend to follow an AABB or ABCB pattern, with lines like "My friends put on their bravest face / Their tales between their legs / Something's out of place / I bet their mothers let them know / What I'm about to face / Keep your mouth zipped, son". The song has a moderate tempo of 146 BPM and is in a 3/4 time signature, which gives it a gentle, waltz-like feel that enhances its dreamy and nostalgic quality. The rhythm is steady and consistent, driven by the drum machine and the interplay between the rhythmic guitar and the melodic bassline. This creates a hypnotic and immersive listening experience. The vocal melody often works in a fluid, almost conversational rhythm against the instrumental backdrop, emphasizing the personal and introspective nature of the lyrics.

"What Once Was" is characterized by Her's' signature blend of jangle pop and dream pop. The song's instrumentation features a prominent, shimmering guitar riff that is instantly recognizable and sets a nostalgic, slightly melancholic tone. The bassline, played by Audun Laading, is melodic and driving, providing a strong counterpoint to the guitar. Stephen Fitzpatrick's baritone vocals are a key element of the song's sound, often described as echoey and powerful, conveying a sense of calm and wistfulness. The use of a drum machine gives the rhythm a steady, lo-fi quality. Lyrically, the song employs a direct and confessional narrative voice, making the emotional content highly relatable. The repetition of the chorus and key phrases enhances the song's central themes of longing and nostalgia. The production has a hazy, hollow quality that contributes to the feeling of looking back through rose-colored glasses.

"What Once Was" has gained significant cultural influence, particularly posthumously for the band Her's. It is their most popular song, with hundreds of millions of streams on Spotify. The song experienced a massive surge in popularity on the social media platform TikTok in 2022, where it became a backdrop for videos centered on themes of loss, heartbreak, and nostalgia. This viral success introduced the band to a vast new audience, many of whom were then saddened to learn of the duo's tragic passing in 2019. This has led to what some have described as a continuous cycle of discovery and heartbreak among new fans. The song's enduring appeal has solidified Her's' legacy, with many considering them a band that would have achieved massive success. The song has been covered by other indie artists such as Peach Pit. In a tribute to the band, Glastonbury Festival played their albums across the festival site.

The lyrics of "What Once Was" employ several metaphors to convey its emotional landscape.

• "My friends put on their bravest face / Their tails between their legs": This imagery vividly portrays the friends' attempt to appear strong while simultaneously revealing their underlying fear and anxiety about the situation the narrator is facing. The animalistic metaphor of a tail between the legs is a powerful symbol of submission and defeat.
• "I was at the end of every tether waiting / For what once was": This recurring line is a central metaphor for being at the absolute limit of one's emotional endurance. The "tether" symbolizes hope or connection, and being at its end signifies a point of desperation and near-hopelessness, while still clinging to the memory of the past.
• "I'm on my knees": This phrase is a powerful symbol of vulnerability, desperation, and supplication. It conveys a plea for the other person to not give up on the relationship, highlighting the narrator's deep emotional investment and fear of loss.

The most significant recurring phrase in "What Once Was" is the title itself, which also serves as the final line of the chorus. The line, "I was at the end of every tether waiting / For what once was," is repeated multiple times throughout the song. This repetition serves to underscore the central theme of longing for a past that is no longer accessible. It acts as an emotional anchor for the listener, constantly bringing them back to the narrator's state of hopeful desperation. Another repeated line is "Baby I've been there before," which emphasizes a sense of empathy and shared experience, suggesting that this feeling of loss and longing is a familiar one. The final repetition of "Waiting for my love" acts as a poignant coda, simplifying the complex emotions of the song into a pure, direct expression of hope.