summer depression

"Summer depression" by girl in red is a raw and honest exploration of seasonal affective disorder and the broader struggles of mental health, particularly from a teenage perspective. The song directly confronts the painful irony of feeling intensely sad and isolated during a time of year that society dictates should be happy, sunny, and social. The lyrics articulate a deep sense of alienation; while the narrator's friends are out “doing things,” she is trapped indoors by a recurring wave of depression that “comes every year.”

The song delves into the internal experience of depression, touching on themes of self-doubt, insomnia, and worthlessness (“but I’m nothing”). Marie Ulven, the artist behind girl in red, uses the song to express her genuine feelings, pushing back against any notion that she is glorifying depression for aesthetic purposes. It’s a candid portrayal of waking up “feeling like shit” and the normalization of this feeling. The recurring line, “There’s so much time to question my life,” highlights how the unstructured nature of summer can exacerbate anxiety and negative introspection. Ultimately, the song serves as a vulnerable confession and a point of connection for listeners who experience a similar disconnect between external expectations and their internal emotional state.

The song opens with a collage of sampled phrases, including “de-de-de-depression,” “teenage suicidal,” “why, girls?,” and “social anxiety,” immediately setting a tone of mental and emotional turmoil. The narrator then reveals a hidden struggle, describing a “pretty face with pretty bad dreams” and admitting that no one is aware of her crying herself to sleep. Waking up feeling terrible has become a normalized part of her existence, a routine she has accepted.

This feeling of despair leads to a desire for isolation. She openly states her indifference to her low mood, expressing a wish to just stay at home and avoid the outside world entirely. This is tied to a recurring annual experience she calls “summer depression.” The arrival of summer, a season typically associated with joy and activity, paradoxically brings her a sense of dread and a powerful urge to “just want to disappear.” The long, unstructured days of summer provide too much time for introspection and self-doubt, leading her to endlessly “question my life.”

The narrator identifies her own sadness as her “worst habit,” a self-destructive cycle that keeps her awake all night. This insomnia is coupled with a pervasive sense of fatigue during the day, creating a draining feedback loop. She observes her friends engaging in activities, acknowledging that it’s positive for them, but this only magnifies her own feelings of inadequacy and inertia, making her feel like “nothing.”

As the chorus repeats, it reinforces the cyclical and inescapable nature of her summer depression. The desire to disappear is not a fleeting thought but a recurring wish tied to the season. The song concludes by reiterating the sampled phrases from the beginning, reinforcing the themes of teenage mental health struggles, social anxiety, and emotional distress as the core of this deeply personal and cyclical experience. The repetition of “summer depression” emphasizes that this is not just a passing mood but a significant, recurring part of her life.

"summer depression" was written and produced by the Norwegian artist Marie Ulven Ringheim, known as girl in red. The song was initially released on SoundCloud on February 16, 2018, before being officially released as a single on March 3, 2018. It was later included on her debut EP, "chapter 1," released on September 14, 2018. Like much of her early work, the song was created in a DIY fashion from her bedroom, a characteristic that defined the "bedroom pop" genre she became associated with.

In a comment on the song's YouTube lyric video, Ulven emphasized that the track was a genuine expression of her own feelings and not an attempt to romanticize or aestheticize depression. The song reflects her personal struggles with mental health, a recurring theme throughout her discography. "Summer Depression" quickly gained traction online, along with other early singles, helping to build her substantial online following and establishing her as a significant voice for Gen Z, tackling issues of mental health and queer identity with stark honesty.

"summer depression" employs a relatively simple and direct rhyme scheme, which contributes to its conversational and diary-like feel. The verses primarily use couplets (AABB), as seen in lines like “Pretty face with pretty bad dreams / No one knows I cry in my sleep” and “All my friends are doing things / It's good for them, but I'm nothing.” This straightforward structure makes the lyrics feel candid and unpretentious.

The song's rhythm is built on a steady, mid-tempo drum machine beat characteristic of lo-fi indie pop. This consistent pulse creates a slightly hypnotic, almost lethargic feel, mirroring the emotional state of fatigue and listlessness described in the lyrics (“wondering why I'm so tired all the time”). The vocal melody often follows a simple, repetitive contour that is easy to sing along to, which contrasts with the emotional weight of the words. This interplay between the accessible, almost breezy rhythm and the melancholic lyrics is a key part of the song's appeal, capturing the feeling of being emotionally detached while life moves on at a normal pace.

Musically, "summer depression" is a prime example of the bedroom pop and lo-fi genres. The production is characterized by a DIY aesthetic, featuring hazy, slightly phased guitar melodies, a simple drum machine beat, and Ulven's layered, sleepy-eyed vocal delivery. This creates an intimate and introspective atmosphere that perfectly complements the lyrical content. The song begins with a sound collage of sampled voices, a technique that immediately immerses the listener in the themes of mental health discourse (“De-de-de-depression,” “Teenage suicidal,” “Why, girls?”).

Lyrically, the song employs direct and confessional language, avoiding elaborate metaphors in favor of stark, relatable statements like “Waking up feeling like shit / It's a normal thing to feel like this.” This directness is a hallmark of girl in red's songwriting, fostering a strong sense of authenticity and connection with her audience. The use of repetition in the chorus (“Summer depression comes every year / I just want to disappear”) drills home the cyclical and inescapable nature of the narrator's feelings. The juxtaposition of a relatively breezy, catchy melody with lyrics about deep sadness is a form of musical irony, a technique that makes the heavy subject matter more accessible while also reflecting the experience of masking depression.

"summer depression" was one of the key tracks that helped establish girl in red as a prominent voice in the bedroom pop scene and an icon for Gen Z. The song's candid discussion of mental health resonated deeply with a young audience, contributing to a broader cultural conversation that destigmatized feelings of anxiety and depression. Along with her other early work, it solidified Marie Ulven's reputation for writing vulnerable, highly relatable lyrics that tackle personal subjects like mental health and queer identity head-on.

The song, released in 2018, gained millions of streams online and became a staple in her discography, often highlighted as a classic example of her early lo-fi sound. Its popularity was part of the wave that led to the viral TikTok trend where asking "Do you listen to girl in red?" became coded language for asking if someone is a lesbian. While not her most commercially successful track, "summer depression" remains a fan favorite and a crucial song in her artistic development, showcasing the unfiltered honesty that would become her signature style and influence a wave of similar-sounding indie artists.

The central metaphor of "summer depression" is the inversion of summer itself. Typically a symbol of freedom, warmth, and happiness, girl in red transforms it into a period of isolation, anxiety, and existential dread. This contrast is the song's primary symbolic device. The long, sunny days, rather than being a source of joy, become an empty expanse of time filled with self-questioning and loneliness (“There’s so much time to question my life”).

The line “My worst habit is my own sadness” acts as a powerful metaphor for the cyclical and seemingly self-perpetuating nature of depression. It frames sadness not just as a feeling, but as a destructive, ingrained behavior that the narrator feels trapped in, akin to a bad habit she can't break. The desire to “disappear” symbolizes the ultimate escape from this overwhelming emotional pain, a common feeling associated with severe depression. The opening audio collage, featuring phrases like “teenage suicidal” and “social anxiety,” functions as a symbolic representation of the chaotic and overwhelming inner monologue of someone struggling with their mental health.

The most prominent recurring phrase in the song is the title itself, "summer depression." Its repetition in the chorus serves as the central theme and emotional anchor, emphasizing the cyclical and predictable nature of the narrator's mental state. Each time it is sung, it reinforces the idea that this is not a one-time event but a recurring annual struggle. This phrase functions as a powerful motif for the juxtaposition of external brightness and internal darkness.

The line, "There's so much time to question my life," is another crucial recurring motif. It directly follows the mention of "summer depression," explaining why the season is so difficult. It highlights the unstructured, empty days of summer as a breeding ground for anxiety, overthinking, and existential dread. Its repetition underscores the mental exhaustion that comes from constant introspection.

Finally, the sampled audio clips at the beginning and end of the song, featuring phrases like "teenage suicidal," "why, girls?," and "social anxiety," act as a framing motif. Their recurrence ties the personal experience of the song to a broader, almost clinical, discussion of teenage mental health issues, grounding the personal narrative in a wider context of psychological struggle.