Symphonia IX

Symphonia IX by Current Joys is a song about the paralyzing nature of unrequited or emotionally unavailable love. Originally written by Grimes, the lyrics explore a dynamic where one person is desperate to break through the emotional walls of another. The opening lines, "I try and try to make you cry / And make you love me," suggest that the narrator believes if they can just get their partner to show vulnerability (to "cry"), true connection will follow.

The recurring affirmation "Oh, I would say yes" acts as a tragic vow of submission. The narrator is willing to endure the "trying" nature of the relationship—the pain, the waiting, and the emotional distance—just for the chance to be chosen. This creates a sense of obsession, where the narrator's self-worth is tied to this external validation ("The need to be the best before the need to rest").

The chorus, "See, my wait is you... and I won't go on," encapsulates the central conflict: the narrator is stuck in limbo. They are unable to move forward in life because their entire existence has paused in anticipation of the other person. Nick Rattigan's vocal delivery adds a layer of frantic desperation to these lyrics, transforming the ethereal longing of the original track into a raw, punk-infused cry for attention.

The song opens with a confession of persistent effort, as the narrator admits to trying repeatedly to elicit a strong emotional reaction—specifically tears—from their partner, hoping this vulnerability will lead to love. In response to a silent or implied question of whether they would accept this difficult dynamic, the narrator repeatedly affirms, "Oh, I would say yes." This willingness is linked to a compulsion to be the best and a refusal to rest until that validation is achieved.

The chorus shifts to a declaration of stasis and obsession. The narrator defines their entire existence by the act of waiting for this person, stating, "My wait is you," and asserting that they cannot or will not move forward with their life without them. This sentiment creates a loop of dependency where the narrator is stuck in a holding pattern.

In the second verse, the struggle intensifies. The narrator describes the difficulty of trying to diffuse the "flame" of their intense feelings or the pain of the situation. Despite the hardship, they once again confirm they would accept it. The imagery turns darker as the subject of their affection "fades away alive"—perhaps emotionally withdrawing or moving on—while the narrator feels as though they are "dying" in their absence. The song concludes with the relentless repetition of the chorus, reinforcing the trap of endless waiting.

Symphonia IX was released on January 2, 2013, as part of the album Wild Heart. At the time, Nick Rattigan was releasing music under the moniker TELE/VISIONS before later changing the project's name to Current Joys. The song is a cover of the track "Symphonia IX (My Wait Is U)" by the Canadian artist Grimes, which appeared on her acclaimed 2012 album Visions.

Rattigan recorded the album in a DIY, bedroom-pop style, likely using minimal equipment which contributed to the project's signature lo-fi, fuzzy sound. While the original Grimes version is synth-heavy and ethereal, Rattigan reimagined it with driving drums, jangly electric guitars, and his distinctively raw, emotive vocals. The song has since become a cult classic within the indie scene, often cited by fans who discovered the lyrics through Rattigan's more aggressive interpretation before finding the original.

There is also a connection to the 1981 sci-fi horror film Scanners by David Cronenberg. Rattigan has used imagery from the film (specifically the famous head explosion scene) in association with the song on social platforms, and the track's chaotic energy mirrors the film's intensity.

The song utilizes a simple, repetitive rhyme scheme, often relying on mono-rhymes (e.g., "cry" / "try") and identical rhymes (repeating "yes" / "yes"). The verses follow a loose AABB structure, but the primary rhythmic device is repetition rather than complex rhyming. Phrases like "Oh, I would say yes" and "My wait is you" are repeated like mantras, reinforcing the obsessive nature of the narrator's mindset.

Rhythmically, the track is fast-paced and relentless. The drums maintain a high-BPM, four-on-the-floor pattern that drives the song forward, creating a sense of anxiety and urgency. This fast tempo conflicts with the lyrics about "waiting" and "dying," creating a tension between the music's desire to move and the narrator's inability to do so.

Musically, the song is a prime example of lo-fi surf rock and post-punk revivalism. It features a driving, uptempo beat (reminiscent of the "motorik" beat) that contrasts sharply with the sad, desperate lyrics—a technique often described as "crying on the dancefloor." The production is intentionally gritty; the guitars are washed in reverb and distortion, creating a "wall of sound" that feels claustrophobic yet energetic.

Rattigan's vocal delivery is a key stylistic element. Unlike the breathy, falsetto delivery of Grimes in the original, Rattigan shouts and strains his voice, using vocal fry and imperfect pitch to convey raw, unfiltered emotion. This punk ethos strips the song of its electronic polish and replaces it with human urgency. The repetition of the guitar riff serves as a musical anchor, mirroring the lyrical theme of being stuck in a loop.

While originally a deep cut on a self-released album, Symphonia IX has found a massive second life online, particularly on TikTok. It has become a staple of the "sad indie" and "bedroom pop" aesthetics, frequently used in videos depicting teenage angst, heartbreak, or nostalgic montages. For many younger listeners, the Current Joys version is more recognizable than the original Grimes track.

The song cemented Nick Rattigan's reputation as a master of lo-fi emotional storytelling, bridging the gap between his work in the band Surf Curse and his solo project. Its popularity has helped sustain interest in the Wild Heart album more than a decade after its release, with the track accumulating hundreds of millions of streams on platforms like Spotify.

The lyrics rely heavily on the contrast between movement and stasis. The "wait" is personified as the partner ("My wait is you"), turning the abstract concept of time into a tangible obstacle. This metaphor suggests that the person they love is the delay in their life; the partner is not just a person, but a roadblock preventing the narrator from "going on."

The "flame" represents the intensity of the narrator's passion or the pain of the situation. Trying to "defuse the flame" implies an attempt to manage this overwhelming emotion, yet the narrator admits this is "trying" (difficult). The image of the partner "fading away alive" while the narrator "lays dying" creates a juxtaposition of vitality and decay. The partner is physically present (alive) but emotionally disappearing (fading), while the narrator is physically present but spiritually dying from the lack of connection.

The title "Symphonia IX" itself, inherited from the Grimes original, may reference the "Curse of the Ninth Symphony"—a superstition that composers die after writing their ninth symphony—adding a layer of fatalism to the track.

The phrase "Oh, I would say yes" is the song's central hook. Its repetition signals a total surrender of agency; no matter the question or the cost, the answer is always compliance if it means maintaining the connection. It highlights the unconditional, perhaps unhealthy, nature of the narrator's devotion.

The line "My wait is you" is another crucial motif. It grammatically equates the act of waiting with the person themselves. The repetition of this line in the chorus acts as a realization that the narrator is trapped. The musical motif of the piercing, repetitive lead guitar line mirrors this lyrical circularity, drilling the melody into the listener's head just as the obsession drills into the narrator's mind.