Memories

"Memories" by Conan Gray explores the painful and frustrating process of moving on from a past relationship when the other person refuses to let go. The song subverts the romantic cliché of wanting to hold onto memories forever. Instead, Gray uses the phrase "I wish that you would stay in my memories" as a desperate plea for his ex to stop physically reappearing in his life and disrupting his healing process. The core message is about the struggle to establish boundaries with a former partner who continues to resurface, turning what could have been fond, albeit bittersweet, memories into fresh sources of pain and trauma. The lyrics narrate a specific event where the ex shows up unexpectedly, drunk and emotional, forcing the narrator to confront the unresolved feelings and the toxic cycle they are trying to escape. It's a song about the yearning for closure and the difficult act of telling someone they need to become a part of the past so that a future can begin.

The song begins a few months after a difficult breakup. The narrator has finally reached a point where looking at old pictures brings a faint smile instead of tears, a feeling of progress that has been long absent. This fragile peace is shattered late one rainy night by the doorbell. Standing at the entrance is the ex-partner, looking like a "wet dog" that the narrator feels too empathetic to turn away, despite knowing it's a bad idea.

A desperate plea follows, begging the ex not to ruin the emotional progress that has been so painstakingly made. The narrator is actively trying to get over the relationship, and this reappearance makes the process significantly harder. The core sentiment is a wish for the ex to remain confined to the past, in memories, where the relationship can be remembered with some fondness. However, their physical presence in the present only serves to disrupt and cause more pain. The narrator feels traumatized and wants to put the past behind them, but the ex's actions prevent this. Tonight, the ex is a mess—drunk and curled up in the kitchen, playing the victim and completely oblivious to the narrator's pleas to be left alone.

The narrator reflects on the toxic cycle of their relationship. It's impossible to say a final goodbye when the ex keeps showing up, creating a loop of starting over without ever reaching a conclusion. The narrator acknowledges that the ending to their story is always the same, so there's no point in pretending they could ever work again. This realization leads to a firm declaration: they can't be friends, they can't be lovers, and they can't be the reason they hold each other back from finding new love. The plea for the ex to find someone else is a cry for the narrator's own freedom.

The central chorus repeats, emphasizing the desire for the ex to stay in memories. But then, there's a moment of reluctant surrender. The narrator agrees to let the ex stay, but only for long enough to collect their belongings: books, a coat, and a particularly significant bottle of cologne. This cologne, bought during a past fight, still lingers on all the narrator's clothes, a constant, painful reminder that feels like dying. It's a testament to the fact that the narrator was barely surviving the emotional aftermath, and this intrusion threatens to undo everything.

"Memories" was released on April 15, 2022, as the fifth single from Conan Gray's sophomore album, Superache. The song was co-written by Conan Gray and his frequent collaborator, producer Dan Nigro, who is also known for his work with Olivia Rodrigo. According to Gray, "Memories" was the very last song he wrote for the album, and he felt it was the perfect introduction to the world of Superache. The inspiration for the song came from a conversation with a friend who was contemplating texting her ex. Gray advised her against it, suggesting she should let her ex heal. This sparked a reflection on his own experiences with exes who wouldn't stay in the past. He explained in an interview with Insider that he wanted to deconstruct the romantic notion of wanting someone to stay in your memories forever and instead express the desperate feeling of needing them to stay only in memories and stop appearing in real life. The song was recorded at Amusement Studios and Cirkut City in Los Angeles.

The song's structure follows a fairly standard verse-pre-chorus-chorus pattern, but the rhythmic and melodic elements are carefully crafted to build emotional tension. The song starts at a slow tempo with a gentle piano backing, creating a ballad-like feel. The rhythm becomes more pronounced and driving in the pre-chorus, with the introduction of strummed guitar and a steady drum beat, reflecting the rising anxiety and desperation in the lyrics. This culminates in the chorus, where the beat drops with heavy drums, emphasizing the catharsis and frustration of the titular line. The rhyme scheme is generally simple and direct, using couplets and straightforward rhymes (e.g., "time"/"smile", "pouring"/"entrance" in a slant rhyme, "me"/"is"/"this"). This lyrical simplicity makes the narrative clear and relatable. The melody often ascends on key emotional words, such as the first use of "memories" in the chorus, which has been described as sounding like a cry of desperation. The interplay between the song's quiet, reflective verses and loud, explosive choruses creates a powerful stop-start dynamic that mirrors the narrator's internal conflict and struggle for control.

"Memories" employs a dynamic arrangement and emotive vocal delivery to enhance its narrative. The song begins with a soft, minimalist piano progression and wistful vocals, establishing a tone of fragile peace. As the narrative intensifies with the ex's arrival, the music builds with the gradual addition of bass, acoustic guitar, and heavy drums, reflecting the narrator's growing desperation and inner turmoil. This dynamic shift from a sparse ballad to a fuller, upbeat pop sound with crashing drums in the chorus mirrors the emotional rollercoaster of the encounter. Gray's vocal performance is central to the song's impact; his voice cracks on certain lines, like "wet dog," adding a layer of raw vulnerability. He utilizes a range of vocal textures, from soft, near-falsetto tones in moments of reflection to powerful belting during the cathartic choruses and bridge, conveying both sadness and anger. The perceptible vocal strain in the second pre-chorus, where he sings about not being able to be friends or lovers, captures the raw, crushing reality of the situation. This combination of dynamic instrumentation and raw, versatile vocal delivery makes the song a powerful piece of storytelling.

"Memories" was released as a key single from Conan Gray's highly anticipated sophomore album, Superache (2022), which debuted in the top 10 on the US Billboard 200. The song was praised by critics for its poignant and relatable lyrics, emotional depth, and for offering a fresh perspective on breakup songs. It solidified Gray's reputation as, in the words of GQ, "The New Prince of Sad Songs." While not a massive chart-topper on the scale of his earlier hit "Heather," "Memories" performed respectably, charting in countries like Ireland. The song's music video, which visually depicts the narrative of being haunted by a past love, was also well-received and further enhanced the song's storytelling. Within Gray's discography, "Memories" is seen as a showcase of his maturing artistry and his ability to craft deeply personal yet universally resonant pop anthems. It has become a fan favorite and a staple of his live performances.

The lyrics of "Memories" are rich with vivid imagery and metaphors that illustrate the song's emotional landscape.

• The "Wet Dog": Describing the ex who appears at the door as a "wet dog" is a powerful metaphor. It conveys a sense of pity and helplessness, explaining why the narrator can't simply turn them away despite knowing they should. It perfectly captures the ex's pitiable state and the narrator's empathetic weakness.
• Lingering Cologne: The mention of "that one good cologne that you bought when we were fighting" is a potent sensory symbol. It represents the inescapable presence of the past. The scent, still on the narrator's clothes, is a constant, suffocating reminder of the relationship and its conflicts, making him "feel like dying." This specific detail grounds the emotional trauma in a tangible, everyday experience.
• The Title as a Subverted Cliché: The central phrase, "I wish that you would stay in my memories," is a clever subversion of a romantic trope. Typically, this phrase implies cherishing the past, but Gray twists it into a plea for distance and a definitive end. It symbolizes the desire to preserve the good parts of the past by preventing the ex from creating new, painful memories in the present.

The most significant recurring motif in "Memories" is the titular phrase itself: "I wish that you would stay in my memories." This line, which appears repeatedly in the chorus, serves as the song's central thesis. Its repetition isn't just for catchiness; it's a desperate incantation, reinforcing the narrator's core desire to relegate the past relationship to a sealed-off part of his mind. Each time it's sung, especially with the swelling instrumentation, it gains more weight, evolving from a wistful thought into an emphatic, frustrated demand. Another recurring image is the ex's physical presence, from their "brown eyes at the entrance" to being "all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the fetal position." This recurring image of the intrusive ex provides a stark, present-tense contrast to the abstract concept of memory, highlighting the central conflict of the song: the past physically invading and ruining the present.