Would've, Could've, Should've

"Would've, Could've, Should've" is a profound exploration of long-term regret and the trauma stemming from an age-inappropriate relationship Taylor Swift experienced at nineteen. The song is widely interpreted as a reflection on her past involvement with John Mayer, who was 32 when she was 19. It serves as a more mature and visceral sequel to her 2010 song "Dear John," which addressed the same relationship. The central theme is the lament for a lost “girlhood” and the permanent emotional scars left by a relationship characterized by a significant power imbalance. Swift uses the song to dissect the lasting impact of this romance, which she describes as a "crisis of my faith," shattering her innocence and fundamentally altering her life's trajectory. The lyrics convey a deep sense of being taken advantage of, with lines like "And if I was a child, did it matter / If you got to wash your hands?" questioning the older man's moral responsibility. The song doesn't just express sadness; it is filled with anger, confusion, and a persistent, haunting sorrow, encapsulated in the bridge: "God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be / The tomb won't close... I regret you all the time." It's a powerful statement on how some wounds never fully heal and how the clarity of hindsight can make past events even more painful.

The song unfolds as a painful reflection on a past relationship that occurred when the narrator was nineteen. It's a memory that refuses to fade, a ghost that continually haunts her. She begins by questioning the very start of the relationship, pondering a series of hypotheticals. If the man had just blinked or looked away, she would have avoided his gaze. If he had sensed the toxic nature of their connection, like tasting poison, he could have rejected her immediately. She questions her role in his life, asking if her presence was merely a splash of paint that stained the reputation of a “promising grown man.” She powerfully contrasts his maturity with her youth, asking if it mattered that she was a child, allowing him to simply “wash his hands” of the consequences and the inherent power imbalance.

The narrator delves into her state of mind before this relationship, characterizing herself as someone who used to pray, implying a deep-seated faith and innocence. This relationship, she confesses, became a “crisis of my faith.” The core of her regret is captured in the recurring phrase, “would've, could've, should've,” lamenting that if she had played it safe and never engaged with him, she would have remained on her knees in prayer. Instead, she “danced with the devil at nineteen.” The experience is framed as a painful paradox: at the time, the pain felt like “heaven,” a testament to the intoxicating intensity of the romance. Now, as an adult, she is scared of the ghosts of these memories, which feel like weapons turned against her. With the clarity of hindsight, she wishes he had left her wondering about what could have been, as the reality of their relationship is too painful to bear.

The bridge of the song is a torrent of unresolved anguish. She cries out for her former self, the person she was before this experience. She uses the metaphor of a tomb that won't close, symbolizing how the memory of this relationship can never be put to rest. Her mind is filled with “stained glass windows,” a beautiful yet fragmented way of viewing the past, colored by both pleasure and immense pain. The regret is a constant, something she fights in her sleep. The wound from this relationship has never healed. In a moment of raw fury and pain, she describes the years since as a continuous battle, a process of “tearing down our banners.” She admits to the bitter thrill of “hitting you where it hurts,” using her pain as a weapon in return. The song culminates in a powerful and heartbreaking demand: “Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.” This line encapsulates the ultimate loss—the theft of her innocence and a formative period of her life that was irrevocably altered by this traumatic relationship.

"Would've, Could've, Should've" was written and produced by Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner of The National. The song was created in March 2021, while Dessner was staying at Swift's home in Los Angeles for the 2021 Grammy Awards, where her album folklore (their first major collaboration) won Album of the Year. Dessner has referred to the track as possibly the best song they have ever written together. It was one of several songs, including "High Infidelity" and "Hits Different," that were written during this productive period but did not make the initial 13-track cut for the Midnights album. Swift explained that these additional songs were what she calls the "3am tracks," written on the journey to finding the final album but set aside to maintain the core concept. The song was surprise-released on October 21, 2022, as the 19th track on Midnights (3am Edition), just three hours after the standard album's release. Dessner plays multiple instruments on the track, including guitar, bass, harmonica, piano, and synthesizer, contributing to its steadily building, rock-inflected sound. The song had its live debut on May 7, 2023, during the Nashville stop of The Eras Tour, where Swift performed it acoustically, accompanied by Dessner on a second guitar.

The song is rich with potent symbolism and metaphors, primarily revolving around themes of religion, innocence, and conflict.

• Religious Imagery: Swift heavily employs religious language to symbolize her lost innocence and the moral transgression of the relationship. Phrases like "all I used to do was pray," "crisis of my faith," and staying "on my knees" depict a past self who was pious and pure. The relationship is framed as a fall from grace, where she "danced with the devil at nineteen." This imagery suggests the man was a tempter who led her away from a righteous path.
• The Tomb and The Wound: The metaphors "The tomb won't close" and "The wound won't close" are powerful symbols of unresolved trauma. They convey that the pain and memory of this relationship cannot be buried or healed; they remain perpetually open and haunting her present.
• Stained Glass Windows: The line "Stained glass windows in my mind" serves as a complex metaphor for her memories. While stained glass is beautiful, it is also a fragmented collection of colored pieces, suggesting her recollection of the time is a mosaic of pleasure and pain, preventing a clear, undistorted view of the past.
• Ghosts and Weapons: Memories are personified as "ghosts" she is now scared of and described as feeling like "weapons." This conveys how the past is not a passive memory but an active, aggressive force that continues to inflict pain.
• Girlhood: The final plea, "Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first," symbolizes the ultimate theft she experienced. "Girlhood" represents not just virginity or innocence, but a crucial developmental period of self-discovery that she feels was stolen and corrupted by this adult man.

The emotional atmosphere of "Would've, Could've, Should've" is a turbulent and complex mixture of regret, anger, and profound sadness. It is overwhelmingly negative, reflecting on a past trauma that has left an indelible scar. The song begins with a tone of melancholic introspection, as the narrator looks back with the painful clarity of hindsight. As the verses progress, this melancholy escalates into a palpable sense of anguish and self-recrimination. The driving, rock-influenced instrumentation and galloping rhythm create a feeling of anxiety and restlessness, mirroring the narrator's inability to find peace. The chorus explodes with a mix of defiance and deep-seated regret, particularly in the line "I damn sure never would have danced with the devil." The emotional climax occurs in the bridge, where the music swells and Swift's vocals become raw and desperate. Here, the emotion shifts to pure, unfiltered pain and fury with lines like "I regret you all the time" and the climactic demand, "Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first." The song is not about quiet nostalgia; it's an exorcism of a lingering trauma, a furious lament for a stolen past and a self that can never be reclaimed.

Upon its release, "Would've, Could've, Should've" was immediately hailed by critics and fans as a standout track, not just on Midnights (3am Edition), but in Taylor Swift's entire discography. Despite not being a single, it achieved significant commercial success, debuting and peaking at number 20 on the US Billboard Hot 100 and charting globally. The song's raw honesty and lyrical depth resonated deeply with listeners, particularly those who related to experiences of toxic relationships and the loss of innocence. Its exploration of the power dynamics in an age-gap relationship contributed to broader cultural conversations, aligning with songs by other female artists like Billie Eilish ("Your Power") and Demi Lovato ("29") who have also addressed themes of exploitation. The track is widely seen as a more mature and potent successor to "Dear John," offering a new, more pained perspective on a relationship that has long been a part of Swift's public narrative. It quickly became a fan-favorite, with many begging for it to be performed live, a wish Swift granted during the Nashville stop of her record-breaking Eras Tour, where she performed it with producer Aaron Dessner. The song's critical acclaim led to its inclusion in several year-end best-of lists for 2022 from publications like Rolling Stone and Business Insider.

The rhyme and rhythm of "Would've, Could've, Should've" are meticulously crafted to enhance its emotional turmoil and narrative drive.

Rhyme Scheme: The song's verses often follow a complex and slightly unconventional rhyme scheme. For example, the opening verse has an AABBCCDD structure ("glance"/"chance", "splatter"/"matter", "man"/"hands"). However, the bridge demonstrates a more intricate pattern, an ABAC structure where Swift denies the listener the expected resolution of a rhyming couplet. For instance, in "God rest my soul / I miss who I used to be / The tomb won't close / Stained glass windows in my mind," the line "The tomb won't close" is left without an immediate rhyme, illustrating the theme of a lack of closure. This technique of setting up and then subverting a rhyme pattern enhances the feeling of restlessness and unresolved pain.

Rhythm and Meter: The song is driven by a persistent, galloping rhythm that propels the track forward with a sense of urgency and anxiety. This relentless cadence mirrors the narrator's racing thoughts and inability to escape the haunting memories. The lyrical phrasing often works in tandem with this rhythm, with key emotional words and verbs landing on strong downbeats to emphasize their impact, such as the words "rest," "miss," "fight," and "wound" in the bridge. The repetition of the titular phrase "Would've, could've, should've" acts as a rhythmic and lyrical motif, hammering home the central theme of regret. The interplay between the driving musical rhythm and the often pained, syncopated vocal melody creates a powerful tension that is central to the song's emotional weight.

"Would've, Could've, Should've" employs a range of literary and musical techniques to create its intense emotional impact.

Literary Techniques:

• Rhetorical Questions: The song opens with a series of conditional clauses and rhetorical questions ("If I was some paint, did it splatter / On a promising grown man?") that immediately establish a tone of self-blame and retrospective analysis. These questions highlight the power dynamics and societal perspectives on such relationships.
• Metaphor and Symbolism: As detailed previously, the song is built on a dense network of metaphors, particularly religious imagery ("danced with the devil," "crisis of my faith") and symbols of trauma ("tomb won't close," "memories feel like weapons").
• Juxtaposition: Swift juxtaposes her past self with her present reality. The line "The God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven" starkly contrasts the intoxicating feeling of the relationship at 19 with the painful regret she feels now as an adult.
• Allusion: The lyric "wash your hands" is a biblical allusion to Pontius Pilate, suggesting the man's attempt to absolve himself of guilt for his actions.

Musical Techniques:

• Galloping Cadence: The song features a driving, almost frantic rhythm and a "galloping cadence" that builds in intensity, mirroring the narrator's escalating anguish and regret.
• Dynamic Build: The production, helmed by Aaron Dessner, is characterized by a steadily building arrangement. It starts with acoustic elements and gradually incorporates layers of synthesizers, distorted electric guitars, and powerful drums, culminating in a soaring, heart-wrenching chorus.
• Vocal Delivery: Swift's vocal performance is emotionally charged, shifting from a breathy, contemplative tone in the verses to a powerful, almost desperate belt in the chorus and bridge. This dynamic delivery effectively conveys the song's emotional arc from pained reflection to raw fury.

What is Taylor Swift's 'Would've, Could've, Should've' about?

The song is a reflection on a traumatic and deeply regretted relationship Swift was in when she was 19. It explores themes of lost innocence, the lasting pain of an inappropriate age-gap romance, and the inability to let go of a past that permanently altered her life.

Who is 'Would've, Could've, Should've' rumored to be about?

The song is widely believed to be about Taylor Swift's brief but impactful relationship with musician John Mayer in 2009-2010. At the time, Swift was 19 and Mayer was 32, an age difference that is central to the song's themes of power imbalance and regret, echoing her earlier song 'Dear John'.

What does the lyric 'Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first' mean?

This powerful closing line signifies the ultimate loss Swift feels from the relationship. 'Girlhood' represents her innocence, youth, and a formative period of her life that she feels was stolen and corrupted by the influence of an older man. It's a demand for the return of something irreplaceable.

What is the meaning of the religious imagery in the song?

Swift uses religious symbols like praying, 'dancing with the devil,' and a 'crisis of my faith' to represent her fall from innocence. The imagery frames the relationship as a profound moral transgression that shattered her former 'good girl' identity and left her with lasting spiritual and emotional scars.

What genre of music is 'Would've, Could've, Should've'?

The song is primarily classified as a soft rock or new wave-leaning track. It incorporates elements of pop rock and has a driving, 'galloping' rhythm, with production by Aaron Dessner that builds from acoustic beginnings to include synthesizers and electric guitars.

When was 'Would've, Could've, Should've' released?

The song was released on October 21, 2022. It was a surprise bonus track on 'Midnights (3am Edition),' which was released just three hours after the standard version of her tenth studio album, 'Midnights'.