I'm Not The Only One

"I'm Not The Only One" is a poignant exploration of infidelity and the complex emotional state of the person who has been cheated on. The song's narrative is from the perspective of someone who is fully aware of their partner's unfaithfulness but chooses to stay in the relationship. It delves into the painful dichotomy of knowing the truth while being treated as if ignorant or "crazy" by the unfaithful partner. The core message revolves around the confirmation of suspicion and the heartbreak that comes with the realization that a sacred commitment has been violated. Sam Smith explained that the song is more than just an accusation; it's also a commentary on the wronged person's decision to remain, describing them as a "mug" for not leaving a situation they know is toxic. It captures the internal conflict between the love and history shared with the partner and the devastating pain of their betrayal.

The narrative unfolds from the perspective of someone who has discovered their partner's infidelity. It begins by referencing a sacred vow, a promise of "for better or for worse," which has now been broken, leaving a palpable pain as evidence. For a long time, the narrator has harbored suspicions, fighting back tears and trying to deny the gut-wrenching truth. There's a desperate wish for the emotional turmoil to cease, yet an equally strong, conflicting need for the partner to remain.

The central conflict is articulated in the chorus: the partner dismisses the narrator's accusations as craziness, acting as though their transgressions are unknown. However, the moment the partner uses a term of endearment like "baby," the narrator's knowledge is painfully reaffirmed—they are acutely aware they are not the only one in their partner's life. This repeated phrase becomes a somber mantra of realization.

The lyrics further explore the emotional distance that has grown between them. The partner has been consistently unavailable, and the narrator now understands the sad reason behind it. Their heart, once given freely, is now unobtainable to the narrator, even though the narrator's own heart remains captive. The accusation of being "crazy" is thrown back, a futile attempt at gaslighting that fails to obscure the truth.

A deep history of love is acknowledged, spanning many years, which makes the betrayal even more cutting. This leads to a moment of painful self-doubt, where the narrator wonders if they are simply not enough for their partner. The partner's deceit has forced the narrator to confront their deepest fear—the complete breakdown of their relationship through lies and emotional destruction. The cycle of accusation and hollow endearment repeats, solidifying the painful certainty. The song concludes with a quiet, resolute acknowledgment, a repeated statement of knowing they are not the only one, transforming the doubt into a sad, undeniable truth.

"I'm Not The Only One" was written by Sam Smith and their frequent collaborator, Jimmy Napes. The song was produced by Napes alongside Steve Fitzmaurice. It was recorded at The Pierces Room in London. According to Smith, the song was inspired by a real-life marriage they and Napes had observed firsthand, where the husband was cheating on his wife. Smith put themself in the woman's shoes to write the lyrics. The creation process wasn't immediate; Napes had developed the chord progression, and they initially wrote a different, unsatisfactory song over it. Two weeks later, drawn back to the compelling chords, they wrote "I'm Not The Only One" in about an hour. Smith also mentioned that they recorded the vocals while hungover, which they believe contributed to the emotional quality of the performance. The track was released on August 31, 2014, as the third single from their critically acclaimed debut album, In the Lonely Hour.

The lyrics of "I'm Not The Only One" employ several powerful symbolic and metaphorical elements to convey its themes of heartbreak and betrayal.

• The Vow: The opening line, "You and me, we made a vow," immediately establishes the broken promise of marriage or a committed relationship as a central symbol. It represents the sanctity and trust that have been shattered.
• Calling Me "Baby": The partner's use of a term of endearment like "baby" becomes a painful, ironic symbol. Instead of signifying affection, it serves as a trigger and confirmation of the lie, as the narrator knows this affection is shared with someone else.
• Unobtainable Heart: The line "Your heart is unobtainable, even though Lord knows you kept mine" is a poignant metaphor for the emotional disconnect. It visualizes the partner's love as a prize that is no longer accessible, while the narrator remains emotionally captive, highlighting the one-sided nature of their current dynamic.
• The Music Video's Imagery: The official music video further deepens the symbolism. The setting in a seemingly perfect suburban home with white picket fences represents the facade of a happy marriage. The wife (played by Dianna Agron) burning the husband's clothes in a bonfire is a potent symbol of her rage and a desire to purge the pain and betrayal.

The emotional landscape of "I'm Not The Only One" is overwhelmingly one of sadness and heartbreak, layered with a sense of weary resignation. The song opens with a melancholic tone, established by the sparse piano melody and Smith's soulful, plaintive vocals. As the lyrics reveal the story of infidelity, the emotion deepens into a complex mix of longing for the relationship that was, and the bitter pain of betrayal. There's a palpable sense of tension and internal conflict, particularly in the lines where the narrator admits, "I wish this would be over now, but I know that I still need you here." The chorus introduces a feeling of frustrated defiance against the partner's gaslighting, yet it's a quiet defiance, steeped in sorrow rather than anger. The overall atmosphere is somber and introspective, capturing the lonely feeling of knowing a devastating truth that the other person refuses to acknowledge.

"I'm Not The Only One" was a major international success and a significant cultural touchstone of the mid-2010s. It solidified Sam Smith's status as a global superstar following the success of "Stay with Me." The song achieved high chart placements worldwide, peaking at number three in the UK and number five on the US Billboard Hot 100. It became a multi-platinum seller in numerous countries. The song's powerful narrative on infidelity resonated deeply with a wide audience, becoming an anthem for those who have experienced betrayal. The iconic music video, starring Dianna Agron and Chris Messina, received widespread attention, with its cinematic portrayal of domestic turmoil accumulating over a billion views on YouTube. The song's blend of classic soul and modern pop was critically praised and demonstrated Smith's ability as a storyteller. In 2024, to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the album In the Lonely Hour, Smith released a new duet version of the song with Alicia Keys, introducing it to a new generation of listeners and reinforcing its enduring legacy.

The song's structure relies on a steady, deliberate rhythm and a consistent rhyme scheme that enhances its solemn, narrative quality. The tempo is approximately 82 beats per minute, creating a marching, mid-tempo feel that underscores the feeling of moving through pain. The song is in the key of F Major. The rhyme scheme in the verses is typically AABB (e.g., "vow"/"down", "hurts"/"worse"), which provides a simple, direct structure that makes the storytelling clear and impactful. The chorus uses a rhyme scheme of ABCB (e.g., "crazy"/"done"/"baby"/"one"), where the rhyming of "done" and "one" provides the lyrical and emotional punchline. This recurring rhyme reinforces the central theme with each repetition. The rhythmic phrasing of the vocals often plays against the steady beat, allowing for emotional emphasis on key words. The lyrical rhythm is conversational but melodic, making the profound sadness feel both poetic and relatable.

"I'm Not The Only One" masterfully blends musical and literary techniques to create its powerful emotional impact.

• Musical Style: The song is a piano-led soul ballad with a midtempo, marching rhythm. Its structure is heavily influenced by gospel music, evident in the chord progressions and the use of background vocals that create a choir-like effect, adding to the song's gravitas and soulful feel. The instrumentation is classic and rich, featuring piano, orchestral strings arranged by Simon Hale, bass, and drums.
• Vocal Delivery: Sam Smith's vocal performance is a key stylistic element. They employ a soulful, melismatic style, conveying deep emotion through their dynamic control and raw delivery. Their vocal range in the song spans from F3 to C5, showcasing both a powerful chest voice and a tender head voice. The delivery has been described as having a "hungover" quality, which Smith felt added to its authenticity.
• Narrative Voice: The song is written from a first-person perspective, creating an intimate and confessional tone. This allows the listener to directly experience the narrator's pain, suspicion, and resignation.
• Rhetorical Questions & Irony: The central hook, "You say I'm crazy 'cause you don't think I know what you've done," functions as a rhetorical device. The narrator isn't questioning their sanity but highlighting the partner's deceitful attempt to gaslight them. This creates a strong sense of dramatic irony, as the listener knows the narrator is not crazy but tragically correct.

What is the song 'I'm Not The Only One' about?

The song is about a person who discovers their partner has been unfaithful. It explores the emotional turmoil of knowing the truth about the infidelity while the partner pretends nothing is wrong, leaving the narrator feeling heartbroken but resolute in their knowledge.

Is 'I'm Not The Only One' based on a true story?

Yes, but not about Sam Smith's own life. Smith has stated that the song was inspired by a marriage they observed firsthand, where they knew the husband was cheating on his wife. They wrote the song from the perspective of the woman in the relationship.

Who wrote 'I'm Not The Only One'?

The song was co-written by Sam Smith and their longtime collaborator Jimmy Napes. Napes also co-produced the track with Steve Fitzmaurice.

What genre is 'I'm Not The Only One'?

It is primarily a soul and pop ballad. It incorporates strong gospel influences in its structure and chord progressions, along with elements of R&B.

When was 'I'm Not The Only One' released?

The song was officially released as a single on August 31, 2014. It was featured on Sam Smith's debut studio album, 'In the Lonely Hour', which was released in May 2014.

Who are the actors in the 'I'm Not The Only One' music video?

The music video stars actress Dianna Agron, known for her role in 'Glee', as the wife, and actor Chris Messina, from 'The Mindy Project', as the unfaithful husband.

What does the line 'You say I'm crazy 'cause you don't think I know what you've done' mean?

This line refers to the act of gaslighting, where the cheating partner tries to make the narrator doubt their own perception and sanity by denying the affair. The narrator, however, is stating that they are not crazy and are fully aware of the betrayal.

Has Sam Smith recorded other versions of 'I'm Not The Only One'?

Yes. A popular remix featuring a verse from rapper A$AP Rocky was released. For the album's 10th anniversary in 2024, Smith recorded a new duet version with Alicia Keys and another with South Korean singer Taeyeon.