DENIAL IS A RIVER

"DENIAL IS A RIVER" is a deeply personal and multi-layered song that functions as a public therapy session, chronicling Doechii's tumultuous journey through betrayal, fame, and mental health struggles. The song's central theme is the concept of denial as a state of being one must navigate to reach self-awareness and healing. The title itself is a clever play on the idiom "denial is not just a river in Egypt," popularized by a viral Wendy Williams clip, which Doechii directly references in the song's narrative about an ex-boyfriend cheating with a man.

Through a chronological narrative spanning from 2019 to 2023, Doechii explores the profound impact of life events on her psyche. The initial verse deals with the shock and pain of infidelity, but the song quickly expands to critique the often-toxic environment of the music industry. She discusses the pressure to create viral content for platforms like TikTok and the disorienting speed of her rise to fame, which left no room for emotional processing. The track culminates in a raw confession of her struggles with substance abuse and plummeting self-worth, offering a stark look behind the curtain of celebrity. By framing the song as a conversation with a therapist, Doechii highlights the importance of vulnerability and the cathartic power of storytelling as a means to confront and overcome personal demons. It is a testament to her reclaiming her own narrative and fighting back against her struggles.

The song unfolds as an intimate and revealing conversation, framed as a therapy session where Doechii is catching up with her therapist after a long time. She begins by recounting a painful memory from 2019 about a boyfriend who was unfaithful. She discovered the betrayal by finding messages on his Instagram, not from another woman as she first suspected, but from a man. This shocking revelation of being cheated on with another man is detailed with a mix of confusion and righteous anger, leading her to get her revenge before moving on with her life. The narrative then jumps to 2021, the year she got signed to a record label. This marked a significant shift in her life, moving her into the fast-paced world of the music industry. She describes the pressures of her burgeoning career, creating viral records and TikTok hits, which left her with no time to process the emotional turmoil from her past. The demands of the charts and her label created a whirlwind of activity, pushing her to constantly produce content. As the timeline moves to 2023, the facade of success begins to crack. Despite achieving financial success and appearing to have it all, she confesses that it was a deeply dark period for her. She opens up about her struggles with substance use, admitting to liking pills and drugs as a way to cope with the Hollywood lifestyle. This hedonistic behavior, filled with parties and indulgence, led to her self-worth hitting an all-time low. The situation was compounded when an ex vandalized her home, causing significant damage. The raw confession of her struggles highlights the immense pressure and personal cost of fame. The song concludes with the therapist guiding Doechii through a breathing exercise, an attempt to ground her after the intense and emotional outpouring. This final moment symbolizes a step towards healing and confronting the issues she had been denying.

"DENIAL IS A RIVER" is a standout track from Doechii's 2024 mixtape, Alligator Bites Never Heal. Doechii, whose real name is Jaylah Hickmon, revealed that the song was a lengthy and challenging creative process, taking about a year to process the events before she could write about them. She explained that she needed to heal and distance herself from the immediate pain to avoid saying the wrong thing. The song isn't about a single incident but encapsulates experiences with three different ex-boyfriends.

Doechii expressed feeling fearful about being so literal and vulnerable in the lyrics, as it detailed very dark periods of her life, including struggles with substance abuse after moving to Los Angeles. To make the difficult subject matter more digestible, she intentionally infused the song with her signature humor and wit. The song was produced by Ian James, Joey Hamhock, and Banser. IanJames shared that he created the beat at 6 a.m. for a daily YouTube upload, using a sample stab from a Paul Nice 45, which was later replayed for the official release. The song gained significant viral traction in early 2025, leading to a music video release on January 2, 2025, and its promotion as the mixtape's third single.

The most prominent metaphor in the song is its title, "DENIAL IS A RIVER." This phrase suggests that denial is a powerful, flowing force that can carry a person along, preventing them from facing reality. It's a place of self-deception that one can get lost in. The river metaphor implies a journey, and the song is Doechii's narrative of navigating this river of denial to finally confront painful truths.

The entire song is structured as a therapy session, which serves as a powerful framing device. This structure symbolizes introspection, the process of unpacking trauma, and the quest for mental clarity. The conversational back-and-forth with the therapist's voice represents an inner dialogue, the wrestling with one's own thoughts and justifications.

The sitcom-themed music video also adds a layer of symbolism. By parodying shows like Family Matters, it contrasts a glossy, idealized version of life with the chaotic and painful reality described in the lyrics. The gradual breakdown of the sitcom set symbolizes Doechii breaking free from a fictionalized, sanitized version of her life and embracing her messy, authentic self.

Finally, the breathing exercise at the end of the song symbolizes a conscious attempt to heal and find peace. Inspired by Doug E. Fresh's beatboxing, it represents using the very tool of her art—breath control, rhythm—as a therapeutic mechanism to ground herself after emotional turmoil.

The emotional landscape of "DENIAL IS A RIVER" is complex and deliberately mixed, mirroring the chaotic nature of the experiences Doechii describes. On the surface, the song is carried by a witty and humorous tone; Doechii's delivery is often playful and animated, which she used intentionally to make the "darkness of that record" easier to process. This creates a sense of sardonic humor and resilience in the face of adversity.

Beneath this comedic veneer lies a deep well of vulnerability, anger, and sadness. Doechii doesn't shy away from expressing the raw pain of betrayal, the frustration with industry pressures, and the profound despair of hitting rock bottom ("my self-worth's at an all-time low"). This creates a powerful tension throughout the song, as the upbeat, classic hip-hop production contrasts sharply with the lyrical content. There is a palpable sense of catharsis as she lays her struggles bare, turning deep pain into compelling art. The song concludes not with a resolution, but with an attempt to cope—the breathing exercise—leaving the listener with a feeling of fragile hope amidst the turmoil.

"DENIAL IS A RIVER" has had a significant cultural impact since its inclusion on the 2024 mixtape Alligator Bites Never Heal. While released in the summer, the song's popularity surged in early 2025, eventually becoming Doechii's first solo entry on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Its success was bolstered by a critically acclaimed music video released on January 2, 2025, which cleverly parodies 1990s sitcoms like Family Matters and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, featuring cameos from actors Zack Fox and Rickey Thompson.

The song's title and opening theme are a direct and widely recognized reference to a viral meme of talk show host Wendy Williams, which helped it connect with an online audience. The track received widespread praise from critics for its masterful storytelling, vulnerability, and unique blend of humor and dark themes, with publications like Rolling Stone and NME calling it a standout. Doechii's powerful live performances of the song, notably at the 2025 Grammy Awards, further cemented its place in the public consciousness. The song is considered a cornerstone of the mixtape that won her a Grammy for Best Rap Album, a significant achievement that highlighted her artistry and authenticity.

"DENIAL IS A RIVER" is built on a classic boom-bap rhythm, characterized by a hard-hitting kick drum and a crisp snare, creating a steady, head-nodding tempo that grounds the track. This rhythmic foundation is reminiscent of golden-age hip-hop and provides a consistent canvas for Doechii's intricate lyrical delivery.

Doechii's flow is the central rhythmic element. She demonstrates a sophisticated command of rhythm, employing a variety of cadences and syncopations that play against the straightforward beat. Her delivery is tight and precise, with clear articulation that ensures her complex storytelling remains intelligible. The rhyme scheme is predominantly fluid and conversational rather than adhering to a strict, predictable pattern. She utilizes a mix of perfect rhymes, slant rhymes, and internal rhymes to give her verses a natural, spontaneous feel that enhances the song's diary-like narrative. For instance, in the first verse, she rhymes "laundry" with the slant rhyme "wifey" and follows with a more complex internal structure in lines like "Nigga think he slicked back 'til I slipped back / Got my lick back, turned a nigga to a knick-knack." The interplay between her varied lyrical rhythm and the steady musical rhythm creates a dynamic tension that keeps the listener engaged throughout the narrative.

"DENIAL IS A RIVER" showcases a variety of stylistic techniques that make it a compelling piece of storytelling.

Literary Techniques:

• Narrative Structure: The song employs a strophic form, essentially a series of verses without a repeating chorus, which enhances its storytelling quality, making it feel like a continuous monologue or diary entry.
• Direct Address & Conversational Tone: The track is framed as a dialogue with a therapist, creating an intimate and conversational feel. This breaks the fourth wall, drawing the listener directly into Doechii's personal struggles.
• Humor and Irony: Doechii juxtaposes deeply vulnerable and dark topics, such as substance abuse and betrayal, with a witty, comical, and sometimes sarcastic delivery. This use of irony makes the heavy subject matter more accessible and reflects a complex coping mechanism.

Musical Techniques:

• Boom-Bap Production: The production, handled by Ian James, Joey Hamhock, and Banser, is rooted in late '80s and early '90s boom-bap hip-hop, featuring a distinct, head-nodding drum loop and jazzy chord samples. This nostalgic sound grounds her modern narrative in a classic hip-hop tradition.
• Dynamic Vocal Delivery: Doechii's flow is dexterous and varied, shifting in tone and cadence to match the emotions of the story. Her delivery is praised for its clear diction and tight rhythmic pocket, echoing influences like MC Lyte and Slick Rick.
• Spoken Word & Sound Effects: The song is interspersed with spoken-word interludes from the "therapist" and ad-libs that mimic conversational reactions, enhancing the therapeutic session framework. The outro's rhythmic hyperventilation, a breathing exercise inspired by beatboxing, is a unique sonic element that concludes the narrative.

What is the meaning of the title 'DENIAL IS A RIVER'?

The title is a play on the phrase 'Denial is a river in Egypt,' which was popularized by a viral clip of Wendy Williams. In the song, it symbolizes a powerful state of self-deception that Doechii navigates to confront painful truths about her relationships and the pressures of fame.

Who is the therapist talking in Doechii's song?

The voice of the therapist in the song is a narrative device representing an inner dialogue or a therapy session. While not a specific person on the recording, actress and producer Issa Rae has joined Doechii on stage to perform the spoken-word parts live, such as during a Genius Open Mic performance.

What events does Doechii rap about in 'DENIAL IS A RIVER'?

The song is an autobiographical account of several years in Doechii's life. She recounts discovering an ex-boyfriend from 2019 cheated on her with a man, the pressures of her career after getting signed in 2021, and her struggles with substance use and low self-worth in 2023.

What is the breathing at the end of 'DENIAL IS A RIVER'?

The breathing exercise at the end is not a panic attack, as some listeners thought. Doechii explained it was inspired by the beatboxing of hip-hop legend Doug E. Fresh. It symbolizes her attempt to ground herself and use the tools of her own art—breath and rhythm—as a form of therapy.

What is the musical style of 'DENIAL IS A RIVER'?

The song's production is heavily influenced by late '80s and early '90s boom-bap hip-hop. It features a prominent drum loop and jazzy, soulful samples, creating a nostalgic sound that contrasts with its modern, personal lyrical content.

What 90s shows does the 'DENIAL IS A RIVER' music video reference?

The music video is styled as a 1990s sitcom and directly parodies the title sequence of 'Family Matters'. It also includes a scene where Doechii throws her cheating boyfriend out of the house in a manner identical to how Jazz was frequently ejected in 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air'.

Why did Doechii write 'DENIAL IS A RIVER'?

Doechii wrote the song as a form of catharsis to process a very dark and difficult period in her life. She felt afraid to be so vulnerable but was encouraged by her engineer to talk about her negative feelings for her own sake, not just for her fans. She used humor to make the heavy topics easier to discuss.