bury a friend

"bury a friend" is a complex and multilayered song that delves into themes of depression, fear, and self-destruction, told from the unique perspective of the monster under Billie Eilish's bed. Eilish has explicitly stated that the song is about this monster, but she also confesses, "I'm this monster, because I'm my own worst enemy." This duality is central to the song's meaning: it explores the internal battle with one's own dark thoughts and impulses, personified as a separate, monstrous entity.

The recurring questions in the chorus—"What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?"—are directed from the monster to Eilish, but they also reflect Eilish's own confusion about her relationship with her darker side. It's a dialogue with her own depression and anxiety. The line "When we all fall asleep, where do we go?" serves as the thematic anchor for the entire album of the same name and probes existential questions about death and the subconscious.

The song also touches on Eilish's experiences with sleep paralysis and night terrors, which directly influenced its creation. The lyrics about limbs freezing and eyes not closing are direct allusions to the physical sensations of sleep paralysis, creating a tangible sense of horror and helplessness. The title itself, "bury a friend," is a metaphor for suicidal thoughts, where the "friend" she wants to bury is herself.

The narrative begins with a series of confrontational questions posed from a dark, unsettling perspective. The voice, which belongs to a metaphorical monster under the bed, directly addresses a person, asking what they want and why they aren't afraid or running away. This establishes a tense and intimate relationship between the two entities, blurring the lines between predator and prey. A pivotal and recurring question, "When we all fall asleep, where do we go?", introduces a deep, existential dread, questioning the nature of consciousness, dreams, and death. This question also serves as the thematic core of the album it appears on.

The monster, who is revealed to be a manifestation of the singer's own psyche, delves into its destructive and self-destructive nature. It describes thoughts of mortality and a desire for self-annihilation with lines like "I wanna end me." The lyrics paint a violent, visceral picture with commands like "Step on the glass, staple your tongue," which serve not as literal instructions but as metaphors for self-inflicted pain and silencing one's own voice. This internal conflict is a central theme, where the singer is both the victim and the perpetrator of her own torment.

A conversation unfolds between the singer and this inner monster. The monster questions the singer's expectations, sarcastically asking if she expected to be turned into a piece of art or a star. This can be interpreted as a commentary on the pressures of fame and how an artist's inner turmoil can be commodified. The monster claims superiority and control, suggesting the singer's compliance is inevitable. There's a sense of resignation in the lyrics, a feeling of being trapped by this dark alter ego.

The bridge of the song explores the feeling of being indebted and having to "sell my soul," a common metaphor for the compromises made for success and fame. This leads to a state of paralysis—limbs freezing, eyes unable to close—symbolizing a loss of control and a constant state of vigilance and fear, directly referencing experiences like sleep paralysis which inspired the track. The inability to say "no" highlights a sense of powerlessness against these overwhelming forces, be they internal demons or external pressures.

Throughout the song, the phrase "bury a friend" is repeated. This 'friend' is ambiguous; it could be a literal friend, but more symbolically, it represents the singer herself. The desire to "bury a friend" becomes synonymous with the suicidal ideation expressed earlier ("I wanna end me"), suggesting a wish to put to rest the part of herself that is suffering or the monstrous side that causes the suffering. The song concludes by fading back into the unsettling questions, leaving the listener in a state of unresolved tension, much like a recurring nightmare from which there is no escape.

"bury a friend" was written by Billie Eilish and her brother, Finneas O'Connell, who also solely produced the track. The song was recorded and produced in Finneas's small bedroom studio in their childhood home in Los Angeles. Released on January 30, 2019, it served as the third single from her debut studio album, WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?

Eilish has described the song as the creative catalyst for the entire album. She explained, "When we made ‘bury a friend,’ the whole album clicked in my head. I immediately knew what it was going to be about, what the visuals were going to be, and everything in terms of how I wanted it to be perceived." The inspiration for the song's perspective came from Eilish's struggles with night terrors and sleep paralysis. In an interview, she stated, "I probably wouldn't have made that song the way it is if I hadn't had sleep paralysis and nightmares."

The creation process was collaborative and intuitive. The duo started with a "shuffle beat" in mind. To convey the song's desired sound to Finneas, Eilish drew a picture of a black monster. One of the song's distinctive sonic elements, the sound of a dental drill, was a real recording Eilish captured on her phone during an appointment to have her Invisalign attachments shaved off. The track also features uncredited vocals from British rapper Mehki Raine (formerly known as Crooks), who appears in the music video.

"bury a friend" is rich with symbolism and metaphors that create its dark, psychological landscape.

• The Monster Under the Bed: The central metaphor of the song is the monster under the bed, which Eilish has confirmed represents her own darker self, her depression, and her role as her "own worst enemy." This personification of internal struggles allows her to have a dialogue with her fear and self-loathing, exploring it from a detached yet intimate perspective.
• The Questions: The series of questions in the chorus ("What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me?") symbolize a deep internal confusion and a confrontation with this dark side. They question the nature of this relationship—why she doesn't flee from her own destructive thoughts and why, paradoxically, she might even "care for" this part of herself.
• Sleep and Paralysis: Sleep, dreams, and specifically sleep paralysis are powerful symbols throughout the song and the album. Lyrics like "my limbs all froze and my eyes won't close" directly reference the terrifying physical state of sleep paralysis, symbolizing a feeling of utter helplessness and being trapped by one's own mind.
• Burying a Friend: The titular phrase is a stark metaphor for suicide. The "friend" is Eilish herself, and the act of burying this friend is a manifestation of the lyric "I wanna end me." It represents a desire to put an end to the suffering self.
• Glass and Staples: The violent imagery of "Step on the glass, staple your tongue" is metaphorical for self-harm and the act of silencing oneself. It contributes to the horror aesthetic while symbolizing the painful and self-destructive nature of her internal conflict.

The emotional atmosphere of "bury a friend" is overwhelmingly one of fear, tension, and psychological distress. It plunges the listener into a claustrophobic and anxious soundscape that mirrors a state of mental turmoil. The predominant emotions are a blend of dread and a detached, numb sense of self-loathing.

This emotional landscape is crafted through a masterful combination of musical and lyrical elements. The minimalist production, with its deep, throbbing bass and sparse instrumentation, creates a sense of unease and emptiness. The use of unsettling Foley sounds, like a dentist's drill and disembodied screams, directly triggers a primal fear response, akin to a horror movie soundtrack. Eilish's vocal delivery is key; her soft, whispered, almost childlike tone creates a chilling contrast with the violent and dark nature of the lyrics. This juxtaposition suggests a dangerous innocence or a normalization of horrific thoughts.

Lyrically, the song conveys a deep sense of internal conflict and hopelessness. The perspective of a monster who is also the self creates a feeling of being trapped with no escape. Phrases like "I wanna end me" and the description of paralysis ("my limbs all froze") paint a stark picture of depression and suicidal ideation. The emotional tone shifts slightly from the frantic questioning of the chorus to the resigned, almost defeated confession of the bridge, but the overarching feeling remains one of oppressive darkness and unresolved anxiety.

"bury a friend" was a significant commercial and critical success, playing a crucial role in cementing Billie Eilish's status as a global pop phenomenon. Released as a single from her debut album WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?, the song performed exceptionally well on international charts, reaching the top 10 in numerous countries including the UK, Australia, and Canada, and peaking at number 14 on the US Billboard Hot 100, her highest entry at the time. It became her first number one on a Billboard airplay chart, topping the Alternative Songs chart.

The song and its accompanying horror-themed music video, directed by Michael Chaves, received widespread critical acclaim for their originality, dark aesthetic, and innovative production. Critics praised its unique sound, which blended electropop with industrial and hip-hop influences, setting it apart from mainstream pop. The track's success demonstrated a significant shift in pop music, proving that darker, more experimental, and introspective themes could achieve massive commercial success.

Its influence has extended into other media. Most notably, the song was used as the opening theme for the fourth season of the acclaimed HBO series True Detective: Night Country (2024). The showrunner, Issa López, stated she listened to the song constantly while writing the season and that its lyrics and dark, sinister mood were a direct inspiration for the show's themes. The song has also been featured in other television series like The Society and in a trailer for the video game Call of Duty: Vanguard.

The rhyme and rhythm of "bury a friend" are crucial to its unsettling and propulsive feel.

Rhythm:

The song is set at a moderately fast tempo of 120 beats per minute (BPM), driven by a strong, syncopated beat that combines elements of hip-hop and industrial music. This persistent, pulsing rhythm acts like a nervous heartbeat throughout the track, creating a sense of relentless forward motion and anxiety. The rhythm is intentionally minimalist, relying heavily on the kick drum and distorted bass to create its groove. Producer Finneas O'Connell masterfully uses rests and moments of near-silence, such as the pause before the bass drops in the chorus, to create tension and a jump-scare effect, disrupting the listener's expectations and enhancing the song's horror-like atmosphere.

Rhyme Scheme:

The rhyme scheme is dynamic and often irregular, avoiding simple, predictable patterns. The chorus, for example, is built on a series of questions and doesn't adhere to a strict rhyme scheme, focusing instead on thematic repetition. In the verses, Eilish and Finneas employ a mix of perfect rhymes and slant rhymes. For example, in the second verse, "expected" is rhymed with "connected," and "aloud" is loosely paired with "now." The refrain sections ("Step on the glass, staple your tongue...") use a more consistent AABB-like pattern with slant rhymes ("tongue"/"up", "son"/"me"). This less-structured approach to rhyme gives the lyrics a more conversational and frantic quality, mirroring the chaotic internal monologue of the narrator.

"bury a friend" showcases a range of innovative stylistic techniques, both musically and lyrically, that define its unique and unsettling character.

Musical Techniques:

• Minimalist, Percussive Production: The track is built on a foundation of a driving, syncopated hip-hop beat and a heavy, distorted bassline, with a notable lack of traditional melodic instruments in the high-end range. This creates a dark, claustrophobic atmosphere.
• Sound Design and Foley: Finneas incorporates numerous non-musical sounds (Foley) to create a horror-film-like soundscape. These include a high-pitched scream, the sound of breaking glass, a stapler, and most famously, a recording of a dentist's drill. These sounds are often used to punctuate lyrical phrases, adding a visceral, unsettling layer.
• Vocal Layering and Effects: Eilish's vocal delivery is primarily a soft, almost-whispered sing-song style, which contrasts with the dark lyrical content. Her vocals are heavily layered and treated with various effects, including distortion, pitch-shifting, and claustrophobically dry spoken phrases, creating a dialogue between different facets of her persona.
• Unconventional Song Structure: The song subverts traditional pop structure, featuring what has been described as a "broken song form with strange alternate verses and a bridge placed untraditionally." This destabilizing structure, along with the use of dramatic pauses and silence, enhances the feeling of unease and unpredictability.

Literary Techniques:

• Rhetorical Questions: The chorus is composed entirely of a series of rhetorical questions, which serve as the song's central lyrical motif to express confusion, dread, and introspection.
• First-Person Narrative from an Unconventional Perspective: The song is narrated from the point of view of the "monster under the bed," an imaginative and effective way to explore themes of internal conflict and self-perception as an outsider.
• Violent and Macabre Imagery: Lyrics like "Step on the glass, staple your tongue" and "cannibal class, killing the son" use shocking and macabre imagery to convey the intensity of psychological pain and self-destructive urges.

What is the main meaning of Billie Eilish's song 'bury a friend'?

The song is written from the perspective of a monster under the bed, which Billie Eilish has stated is a metaphor for herself and her own worst enemy. It explores themes of depression, self-loathing, and the internal struggle with one's darker thoughts.

What inspired the creation of 'bury a friend'?

The primary inspirations were Billie Eilish's personal experiences with sleep paralysis and recurring nightmares. She has said the song likely wouldn't exist in its final form without these experiences, which contributed to its dark, horror-influenced atmosphere.

What is the sound of the drill in 'bury a friend'?

The unsettling drill sound is an authentic recording of a dental drill. Billie Eilish recorded the sound on her phone while she was at the orthodontist having her brace attachments removed, and her producer brother Finneas incorporated it into the track.

Who wrote and produced 'bury a friend'?

The song was co-written by Billie Eilish and her brother, Finneas O'Connell. Finneas was the sole producer for the track, crafting its signature minimalist and bass-heavy sound in his bedroom studio.

What does the line 'When we all fall asleep, where do we go?' mean?

This line, which became the title of her debut album, is an existential question about the nature of the subconscious, dreams, and death. It encapsulates the song's and the album's thematic exploration of fear and the unknown.

In 'bury a friend,' who is the 'friend' being buried?

The 'friend' is a metaphor for Billie Eilish herself. The title is a symbolic representation of the suicidal ideation expressed in the lyrics, particularly the line "I wanna end me." Burying a friend is synonymous with wanting to end her own life or the suffering part of herself.

What genre is 'bury a friend'?

Music critics have described 'bury a friend' as a mix of several genres, most commonly electropop, industrial, synth-pop, and electronica. It also features prominent hip-hop and avant-pop influences, contributing to its unique sound.