Can't Remember to Forget You (feat. Rihanna)

"Can't Remember to Forget You" delves into the theme of being irresistibly drawn to a toxic relationship. The lyrics articulate a profound internal conflict experienced by someone who is fully aware that their lover is a "mistake," yet is emotionally and physically incapable of letting them go. The title itself is a paradox that serves as the core message: the active, albeit subconscious, decision to erase the negative aspects of a partner and focus solely on the intoxicating moments of passion. It's about a form of emotional amnesia where the memory of pleasure, like "kissing in the moonlight," consistently overpowers the rational knowledge that the relationship is unhealthy. The song portrays love as an addiction, where the lover is both the poison and the cure, a force that makes the narrator act against her better judgment and feel as though he has become a permanent part of her identity. The repeated line, "I keep forgetting I should let you go," highlights the cyclical and helpless nature of this infatuation.

The narrative unfolds from the perspective of a woman caught in a consuming and cyclical relationship with a man who is admittedly wrong for her. She begins by recounting her attempts at self-discipline, leaving a note for herself as a reminder not to repeat the "mistakes of yesterday." However, this resolve crumbles the moment she is faced with him. She confesses to having a "selective memory" when it comes to this man, consciously or subconsciously choosing to see only his good qualities and ignoring the red flags. This internal conflict is a central theme, highlighting the battle between rational thought and emotional compulsion.

The feeling he gives her is described as an intoxicating hold, something so different and powerful that it makes her feel like she's acting foolishly, losing control of her better judgment. He has become an inextricable part of her being, and she finds herself following him wherever he goes, surrendering her own path. The chorus is a powerful, repetitive admission of her core dilemma: "I can't remember to forget you." It’s a paradox that perfectly encapsulates her state of mind. She actively forgets her intention to let him go, especially when he looks at her, as the only memory that surfaces is the romance and passion they share, symbolized by them "kissing in the moonlight."

Rihanna's verse echoes this sentiment, reinforcing the theme of relapse. She describes falling "off the train" of her good intentions and landing right back in his bed, repeating the same mistakes. This reinforces the idea that this is not a one-time lapse in judgment but a recurring pattern, a magnetic pull that is impossible to resist. The feeling he evokes overrides all logic, making her feel stupid for her lack of self-control, yet she accepts that he is now a part of her.

The bridge of the song takes a dramatic turn, intensifying the narrator's desperation and the depth of her attachment. Both singers declare the extreme lengths they would go to in order to keep this man with them: "I'd rob and I'd kill to keep him with me." This hyperbole serves to illustrate the all-consuming, almost dangerous nature of their obsession. They would give up everything, including their last dime, just to hold him for one night. It’s a stark confession of how much power this man holds over them, transforming their love into something that feels like a desperate, life-or-death need. The song concludes by returning to the central, haunting refrain, solidifying the idea that she is trapped in this loop of remembering the love and forgetting the pain, unable to break free.

"Can't Remember to Forget You" was released on January 13, 2014, as the lead single from Shakira's self-titled tenth studio album. The development of the album began in 2011, but the process was extended after Shakira's departure from Epic Records and signing with RCA Records. The song was co-written by a team including Shakira, John Hill, Tom "Kid Harpoon" Hull, Daniel Alexander, Erik Hassle, and Rihanna (credited as Robyn Fenty). The production was handled by Shakira, Hill, and Kid Harpoon. The idea for the collaboration came from Shakira, who had always wanted to work with Rihanna. Shakira mentioned that since they are both from the Caribbean, she felt they shared a common ground, which is reflected in the song's reggae undertones. She sent the track to Rihanna, who loved it and agreed to feature on it. The collaboration was highly anticipated, with rumors circulating after Pitbull revealed he had wanted Rihanna for his song "Timber" but she was unavailable due to her commitment with Shakira. The song was recorded across various studios in 2013, including locations in Barcelona, London, and Los Angeles. A solo Spanish-language version titled "Nunca Me Acuerdo de Olvidarte" was also released.

The song's central metaphor lies in its title, "Can't Remember to Forget You," symbolizing a willful, selective amnesia. It represents the psychological defense mechanism of suppressing painful memories of a partner's flaws to continue enjoying the relationship's pleasures. The lyric "I left a note on my bedpost / Said not to repeat yesterday's mistakes" is a literal action that symbolizes a failed attempt at rational control over emotional impulses. The bedpost is significant as it's tied to the physical intimacy that erases her resolve. Another metaphor appears when Rihanna sings of falling "off the train," which symbolizes straying from the path of good judgment and rational decision-making, only to "land in his bed," the source of the recurring mistake. The hyperbolic confession, "I'd rob and I'd kill to keep him with me," is a metaphor for the extreme, almost criminal, lengths one's obsession can reach, illustrating how love can feel as desperate as a fight for survival.

The emotional atmosphere of "Can't Remember to Forget You" is a complex mixture of sensuality, longing, and frustrated desperation. The song creates a landscape of mixed emotions where the joy of intense physical and emotional connection is constantly at war with the self-aware pain of being in a toxic relationship. This emotional duality is achieved through the contrast between the upbeat, energetic reggae-rock instrumentation and the tormented lyrics. The verses convey a sense of resolve giving way to temptation, while the explosive chorus captures the exhilarating but helpless feeling of surrender. The vocal performances are key; Shakira's delivery conveys a sense of frantic energy and longing, while Rihanna's cooler, more grounded tone adds a layer of resigned acceptance. The bridge, with its hyperbolic declarations of devotion, introduces a feeling of desperate obsession, elevating the song's emotional intensity before it resolves back into the bittersweet, catchy refrain.

Upon its release, "Can't Remember to Forget You" achieved significant commercial success and cultural visibility. It became Shakira's highest-debuting track in the United States at the time, entering the Billboard Hot 100 at number 28 and eventually peaking at number 15. The song performed well internationally, reaching the top 10 in over two dozen countries. The accompanying music video, directed by Joseph Kahn, garnered massive attention and controversy. Featuring Shakira and Rihanna in sensual and suggestive embraces, the video was viewed over 17 million times in its first 24 hours and quickly surpassed 100 million views. This imagery led to criticism from a Colombian politician, who accused Shakira of promoting "lesbianism and immorality," sparking public debate. Despite mixed critical reviews, with some praising the chemistry and genre fusion while others found it unmemorable, the song is recognized as a major collaboration between two global pop superstars. Its legacy is tied to both its chart success and the significant impact of its provocative and widely discussed music video.

The song's rhythm is one of its most defining features, driven by an upbeat, danceable tempo that draws from reggae and ska. This energetic, syncopated rhythm creates a stark and effective contrast with the lyrical theme of being trapped in a painful emotional cycle. The feel is propulsive and almost cheerful, which can be interpreted as representing the addictive high and excitement of the relationship that makes the protagonist forget the negative aspects. The rhyme scheme is not strictly formal but follows a consistent pattern within its sections, often using couplets (AABB) in the verses (e.g., "bedpost/mistakes," "you/memory"). The chorus relies heavily on the repetition of the title phrase, with "go" and "moonlight" providing near rhymes that maintain flow without being rigid. The interplay between the lyrical rhythm and the musical rhythm is key; the vocal melody often follows the upbeat guitar skank, making the tale of woe feel paradoxically like a celebratory anthem.

Musically, "Can't Remember to Forget You" is a dynamic fusion of genres, primarily blending a reggae-tinged rhythm with pop-rock and new wave elements. The song's structure is built around a prominent, ska-influenced guitar riff that serves as a catchy hook. The arrangement contrasts a more subdued, reggae-style verse with a powerful, guitar-heavy rock chorus, creating a sense of dynamic push and pull that mirrors the lyrical tension. Vocally, the song employs a call-and-response dynamic between Shakira's distinct, agile and sometimes yodeling vocal delivery and Rihanna's deeper, more commanding tones. This contrast enhances the narrative of two women sharing a similar experience. Lyrically, the song uses direct address and a conversational tone, making the emotional turmoil feel immediate and relatable. The repetition of the title phrase and the catchy "Oh oh oh oh" hook makes the song highly memorable and reinforces the central theme of being stuck in a loop.

What is the song 'Can't Remember to Forget You' about?

The song is about being in a toxic relationship with someone you know is bad for you, but the physical and emotional connection is so strong that you can't bring yourself to leave, constantly forgetting the reasons you should let them go.

When was 'Can't Remember to Forget You' released?

The song was released on January 13, 2014, as the lead single from Shakira's self-titled studio album. A Spanish version, "Nunca Me Acuerdo de Olvidarte," was released shortly after.

Who wrote 'Can't Remember to Forget You'?

The song was co-written by Shakira, Rihanna (as Robyn Fenty), John Hill, Tom 'Kid Harpoon' Hull, Daniel Alexander, and Erik Hassle.

What genre of music is 'Can't Remember to Forget You'?

It's a fusion of several genres, primarily described as reggae rock and new wave, with prominent ska and pop-rock influences.

Why was the music video for 'Can't Remember to Forget You' controversial?

The music video, directed by Joseph Kahn, caused controversy due to its sensual and intimate scenes between Shakira and Rihanna. A politician in Colombia accused the video of promoting 'lesbianism' and being a moral danger to youth.

How did the collaboration between Shakira and Rihanna happen?

Shakira had the idea for the collaboration and sent the song to Rihanna. Rihanna loved the track and agreed to be featured. Shakira noted their shared Caribbean roots created good chemistry for the reggae-infused song.

What does the line 'I see only the good, selective memory' mean?

This line refers to the act of deliberately ignoring a partner's negative qualities and past mistakes, choosing to remember only the good moments, which allows the unhealthy relationship to continue.