Older

Older is a poignant exploration of the shift in perspective that occurs as a child matures into adulthood, specifically regarding their relationship with their parents. The central theme revolves around the humanization of parents. In childhood, parents are often viewed as infallible figures or "heroes," and when they fail—such as in the context of a divorce—the child feels a sense of betrayal and confusion.

Sasha Alex Sloan uses the song to process the trauma of growing up in a volatile household marked by fighting and eventual divorce. The lyrics move from a place of judgment and resentment ("I swore I'd never be like them") to a place of empathy and understanding. The titular realization, "The older I get," signals that maturity brings the uncomfortable truth that parents are just ordinary people plagued by their own insecurities, failures, and complexities.

The song also touches on the cycle of generational trauma and the fear of repeating one's parents' mistakes. However, instead of ending in fear, it ends in acceptance. By realizing that "loving is hard, it don't always work," the narrator forgives her parents for their failed marriage and, in turn, perhaps forgives herself for her own relationship struggles. It is a narrative of releasing childhood anger to make room for adult compassion.

The song opens with a vivid recollection of the narrator's childhood coping mechanisms. She describes shutting her bedroom door to block out the sound of her mother screaming in the kitchen. To escape the reality of her parents' constant fighting, she would turn up her music and get high, creating a barrier between herself and the conflict. At that young age, she viewed the situation with a binary perspective, believing neither parent was right and making a solemn vow to herself that she would never grow up to be like them.

As the song transitions into the chorus, the perspective shifts from the past to the present. The narrator reflects on how the passage of time has fundamentally altered her understanding. She realizes that her parents are not the invincible heroes a child often imagines them to be; instead, they are flawed human beings just like she is. She acknowledges the harsh reality that love is difficult and doesn't always result in a happy ending. The lyrics express a newfound empathy, recognizing that her parents were simply trying their best to navigate pain and avoid getting hurt, just as she does now.

The second verse delves deeper into her childhood longing for stability. She recalls wondering why her parents could never find happiness together and admits to closing her eyes and praying for a completely different family—one where everything was fine and felt like it truly belonged to her. She reiterates her childhood promise to never emulate their behavior, forgiving her younger self for not understanding the complexities of adult relationships back then.

In the bridge and final chorus, the emotional arc resolves into acceptance. The anger she once held has dissipated, replaced by the wisdom that sometimes the healthiest choice is to let someone go. The song concludes with the recurring realization that this understanding—that parents are just people doing their best—is a truth that only fully hits her as she gets older.

Older was born out of a moment of vulnerability and spontaneity during a promotional trip to Germany in 2018. Sasha Alex Sloan wrote the song in a hotel room alongside her friend and collaborator, Danny Silberstein. The session took place after the pair had shared some KFC and, according to Sloan, managed to find marijuana, which helped lower her inhibitions regarding such a sensitive topic.

Sasha has stated in interviews that she had been trying to write a song about her parents' divorce for her entire life but struggled to do so without sounding "too bitter." The breakthrough came when she finally had enough distance and life experience to see their side of the story. The initial idea started with a guitar riff played by Silberstein, over which Sloan began improvising the melody and lyrics.

She recorded a voice note of the initial sketch and sent it to King Henry (Henry Agincourt Allen), a producer and her boyfriend at the time. His reaction was immediate and emotional; Sloan recalled crying when the song was finished because it felt like a massive weight had been lifted. The track was released as the lead single for her second EP, Loser, in November 2018.

The lyrics of "Older" rely on literal, grounded imagery rather than abstract metaphor to convey its message, which enhances its raw honesty. However, several symbolic actions serve as emotional anchors:

• Shutting the door/Turning music up: These physical actions symbolize the emotional walls built by a child to survive trauma. The "door" represents the boundary between the child's innocence and the parents' chaotic reality.
• Heroes: The concept of the parent as a "hero" is a symbol of the pedestal children place their caregivers on. Shattering this image is a metaphor for the loss of innocence and the transition into adulthood.
• "Just like me": This phrase acts as a mirror, turning the judgment outward (at the parents) back inward (at the self). It symbolizes the moment the narrator recognizes her own capacity for failure and heartbreak, bridging the gap between the generations.
• KFC (implied in backstory): While not in the lyrics, the mundane setting of eating fast food in a hotel room contrasts with the profound emotional breakthrough, symbolizing how deep realizations often come in ordinary moments.

The emotional landscape of "Older" is defined by a sense of melancholic relief. The verses carry a residue of childhood tension and isolation, evoked by the imagery of screaming and hiding. However, the chorus shifts the tone to one of calm resignation and compassion.

There is no anger in the vocal delivery, only a gentle sadness that comes with the loss of illusions. The music supports this with warm, soft piano tones that feel embracing rather than cold. The bridge introduces a feeling of catharsis, as the narrator explicitly states she "used to be mad" but has let it go. The overall atmosphere is one of healing wounds that have scarred over but no longer bleed.

"Older" has become one of Sasha Alex Sloan's signature songs, resonating deeply with a generation of listeners who grew up in broken homes. It has amassed tens of millions of streams across platforms, cementing Sloan's reputation as a "sad girl" pop icon capable of articulating complex familial trauma.

The song marked a significant milestone in her career, serving as the material for her US national television debut on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert in February 2019. This performance introduced her to a wider mainstream audience. On social media platforms like TikTok, the song is frequently used in emotional content where users share their own stories of family struggles and personal growth, validating its status as an anthem for the "children of divorce."

The song utilizes a simple and consistent rhyme scheme, typically AABB or AAAA in the verses (e.g., kitchen/listen, fight/right), which gives the lyrics a nursery-rhyme-like simplicity that contrasts with the heavy subject matter. This structure mimics the childhood perspective the song describes.

Rhythmically, the track is set in 4/4 time at a slow tempo of approximately 64 BPM. The vocal phrasing is relaxed and often falls slightly behind the beat, contributing to the weary, reflective mood. The rhythm of the lyrics in the chorus—"The old-er I get, the more that I see"—has a lilting, repetitive cadence that mirrors the cyclical nature of growing up and realizing truths over time.

Literary Techniques: Sloan employs a narrative arc that moves chronologically from childhood (Verse 1) to adulthood (Chorus/Verse 2). The use of juxtaposition is central to the song's impact, contrasting the angry, confused child ("swore I'd never be like them") with the understanding adult ("parents aren't heroes"). The language is conversational and direct, avoiding poetic obfuscation to deliver a "matter-of-fact" confession that feels authentic and vulnerable.

Musical Techniques: The production is intentionally minimalist, characterized by a simple, melancholic piano chord progression that allows the vocals to take center stage. The arrangement swells subtly with a downtempo beat in the chorus but never explodes, maintaining a sense of intimacy and introspection. Sloan's vocal delivery is soft, breathy, and close to the microphone, creating the sensation that she is whispering a secret directly to the listener. This "bedroom pop" aesthetic reinforces the themes of privacy and personal reflection.

What is the meaning behind the song 'Older' by Sasha Alex Sloan?

The song is about realizing that parents are imperfect humans. It explores Sasha's childhood experience with her parents' divorce and how, as she grew up, she moved from judgment and anger to understanding that they were just people trying their best.

Who wrote 'Older' by Sasha Alex Sloan?

The song was co-written by Sasha Alex Sloan, Henry Agincourt Allen (King Henry), and Danny Silberstein.

Is 'Older' about a true story?

Yes, Sasha Alex Sloan has confirmed in interviews that the song is autobiographical. It details her real coping mechanisms as a child, such as listening to music to drown out her parents' fighting, and her eventual journey to forgiving them.

What album is the song 'Older' on?

'Older' was released as a single in 2018 and is featured on Sasha Alex Sloan's second EP, titled 'Loser'.

When was 'Older' released?

The song was originally released on November 9, 2018.