Dilemma

"Dilemma" explores the complex and emotionally charged theme of forbidden love. The song's narrative centers on two individuals, voiced by Nelly and Kelly Rowland, who develop intense feelings for each other despite one of them (Kelly's character) already being in a committed relationship with a family. The central 'dilemma' is the classic conflict between loyalty and desire, duty and passion. The lyrics delve into the emotional turmoil of being irresistibly drawn to someone new while still being involved with a long-term partner. It captures the secret longing, the stolen moments, and the internal struggle that defines an emotional affair. Nelly's verses express a man's perspective of falling for a woman he can't have, while Kelly's hook, "No matter what I do, all I think about is you / Even when I'm with my boo / Boy, you know I'm crazy over you," has become an iconic representation of a heart divided. The song doesn't offer a simple resolution, but rather lingers in the bittersweet tension of the situation, reflecting the difficult choices and overwhelming emotions that characterize such relationships.

The narrative unfolds with a man, portrayed by Nelly, expressing his intense infatuation with a new woman in his neighborhood. From the moment he sees her, he's captivated, describing her as the finest thing he's ever seen. However, a significant obstacle stands in his way: she is already in a committed relationship, with a man and a son. Despite this, he's undeterred, resolving to be patient and strategic, like a baseball shortstop ready to seize any opportunity. He confesses that he has never been the type to disrupt a happy home, but there's an undeniable pull towards this woman that he cannot ignore. He directly poses the question to her, asking what their future holds.

Kelly Rowland voices the woman's perspective, responding with the song's central, recurring hook. She reveals her own internal conflict, admitting that no matter what she does, her thoughts are consumed by Nelly. This is true even when she is with her current partner, whom she refers to as her 'boo'. She is fully aware of her powerful feelings for Nelly, confessing she is 'crazy over' him. This refrain establishes the mutual nature of their attraction and the core 'dilemma' of the song: a deep, emotional connection that exists outside the bounds of their current realities.

Nelly's verses further detail their secret interactions and his growing admiration. He enjoys the clandestine nature of their budding relationship, like when she picks him up in her partner's car. He respects her current situation and isn't looking to cause a fight, but he can't deny his feelings. He describes his desire as something more profound than simple lust, though he acknowledges her physical appeal. He feels a unique connection with her that he can't walk away from. The story paints a picture of two people caught in a powerful emotional affair, struggling with their loyalty to their existing commitments versus the overwhelming new feelings they have for each other. The song concludes without a clear resolution, leaving the characters and the listener suspended in this state of romantic and moral conflict, emphasizing that the love she has for him is deeper than her current partner will ever comprehend.

"Dilemma" was a last-minute addition to Nelly's 2002 album, Nellyville. The track was created just days before the album was scheduled to be printed. Producers Ryan Bowser and Antoine "Bam" Macon, both from St. Louis, developed the beat. The story goes that they were playing Tetris when they conceived the initial melody. While working on the beat, Bam started humming the melody from Patti LaBelle's 1983 song "Love, Need and Want You." Nelly, unfamiliar with the original song, loved the melody and insisted on incorporating it. This led to Patti LaBelle's songwriters, Kenneth Gamble and Bunny Sigler, receiving writing credits. Upon hearing the instrumental, Nelly wrote the lyrics and decided it needed a female vocalist. His sister suggested Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child, whom Nelly had met on the Total Request Live tour in 2001. Nelly called Rowland, who agreed to be on the track. The recording process involved several takes for Rowland to get her vocals "just right." Initially, Nelly's label didn't anticipate the song's massive success and hadn't planned for a music video upon its release, but overwhelming radio play quickly pushed the song to the forefront.

The song's primary lyrical content is quite direct, but it uses relatable situations and metaphors to enhance its themes.

• The Neighborhood: The setting of a shared neighborhood symbolizes the proximity and constant temptation the two characters face. They are in each other's daily lives, making their forbidden attraction impossible to ignore.
• Baseball Metaphor: Nelly uses a baseball metaphor, "play my position like a shortstop," to describe his approach to the situation. A shortstop must be agile and ready to intercept the ball, symbolizing his intention to be patient and ready to seize the opportunity to be with her if it arises.
• The "Boo": The recurring term "boo" functions as a symbol for existing commitment and loyalty. When Kelly Rowland sings "Even when I'm with my boo," it starkly contrasts her physical presence with one person against her emotional and mental preoccupation with another, highlighting the core internal conflict.
• The Two-Seater Car: Nelly mentions being picked up in her man's "two-seater," which can be seen as a symbol of their clandestine affair. They are occupying a space that belongs to her established relationship, adding a layer of risk and excitement to their secret meetings.

The predominant emotional atmosphere of "Dilemma" is one of longing and bittersweet romance. It masterfully captures the tension of a forbidden attraction. The song isn't aggressive or overtly dramatic; instead, it dwells in a state of gentle, persistent yearning. This is created through the combination of a soft, melodic beat, Nelly's smooth and conversational rap delivery, and Kelly Rowland's sweet, emotive vocals. There's a sense of intimacy and secrecy, as if the listener is eavesdropping on the private thoughts and confessions of two people in a complicated situation. While the lyrics describe a potentially heartbreaking scenario (infidelity), the overall tone is more romantic and wistful than sad or guilt-ridden. The emotion shifts slightly from Nelly's verses, which carry a tone of hopeful pursuit and admiration, to Kelly's choruses, which convey a deeper sense of internal conflict and being completely consumed by her feelings. The overall landscape is one of tender, romantic tension, a feeling of being caught between what is right and what the heart desires.

"Dilemma" was a colossal commercial success and left a significant mark on early 2000s pop culture. Released on June 25, 2002, the song topped the US Billboard Hot 100 for ten non-consecutive weeks, famously replacing Nelly's own single, "Hot in Herre," at the number one spot. It also reached number one in numerous other countries, including the UK, Australia, and Germany. The song won a Grammy Award for Best Rap/Sung Performance in 2003, cementing its critical acclaim. Its success was a pivotal moment for Kelly Rowland, establishing her as a successful solo artist outside of Destiny's Child. The music video is iconic in its own right, partly due to the infamous scene where Kelly Rowland attempts to text Nelly using a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet on her Nokia phone, a detail that has become a widely recognized internet meme. The video, which features Patti LaBelle as Rowland's mother, surpassed one billion views on YouTube in 2021, a rare feat for a video released before the platform's existence. Ranked by Billboard as the 11th biggest song of the 2000-2009 decade, "Dilemma" is considered one of the best R&B duets of its era and remains a nostalgic classic.

"Dilemma" follows a relatively straightforward and consistent rhythmic structure, built around a mid-tempo R&B beat. The rhythm is smooth and laid-back, which complements the song's romantic and contemplative theme. Nelly's verses employ a conversational, flowing rap style that often blurs the line between rapping and singing. His rhyme schemes are generally simple, using couplets (AABB) and easy end rhymes to maintain a natural and accessible feel, as seen in lines like "I met this chick and she just moved right up the block from me / And she got the hots for me, the finest thing I need to see." This approachable lyrical rhythm makes the storytelling clear and engaging. The chorus, sung by Kelly Rowland, contrasts with a more melodic and rhythmically structured pattern. The repetition of the hook provides a predictable and catchy anchor for the song. The interplay between Nelly's relaxed verses and Rowland's more structured, melodic chorus creates a dynamic balance that drives the song forward while maintaining its gentle, ballad-like quality.

"Dilemma" masterfully blends Pop-Rap and R&B, creating a smooth, radio-friendly sound that defined the early 2000s. Musically, its most prominent feature is the interpolation of Patti LaBelle's 1983 song "Love, Need and Want You," which forms the melodic basis for Kelly Rowland's parts and the song's signature hook. The production, by Ryan Bowser and Antoine "Bam" Macon, is characterized by a warm, spacey beat with tinkling, music-box-like melodies and mellow chords. A key stylistic choice is the call-and-response structure between Nelly's rapped verses and Kelly Rowland's sung choruses. This duet format effectively portrays the two sides of the story, creating a conversational and balanced narrative. Nelly's vocal delivery is notably softer and more melodic than in his other hits like "Hot in Herre," adapting a laid-back, conversational rap-singing style that suits the song's ballad-like quality. Kelly Rowland's vocals are sweet and emotive, perfectly capturing the longing and conflict of her character. The use of a high-pitched, repeated vocal sample ("I... love you... and I... need you") at the beginning and throughout the track serves as an atmospheric and instantly recognizable hook.

What is the song 'Dilemma' by Nelly and Kelly Rowland about?

'Dilemma' tells the story of a man (Nelly) who falls for a woman (Kelly Rowland) who has recently moved into his neighborhood. The conflict, or 'dilemma', arises because she is already in a committed relationship with another man and has a son.

What song does 'Dilemma' sample?

The song features a prominent sample, or more accurately an interpolation, of Patti LaBelle's 1983 R&B hit 'Love, Need and Want You.' The writers of the original song, Kenneth Gamble and Bunny Sigler, are credited as co-writers on 'Dilemma'.

Why did Kelly Rowland text Nelly using Microsoft Excel in the 'Dilemma' music video?

The scene showing Kelly Rowland typing 'WHERE YOU AT? HOLLA WHEN YOU GET THIS' into a spreadsheet on a Nokia Communicator has become an internet meme. Nelly later jokingly explained that this was the height of technology at the time. Rowland has also laughed about it, quipping it explains why Nelly never texted back.

When was 'Dilemma' released and how did it perform on the charts?

'Dilemma' was released on June 25, 2002. It was a massive commercial success, reaching number one on the Billboard Hot 100 for ten non-consecutive weeks and topping charts worldwide, including in the UK and Australia.

Who wrote and produced 'Dilemma'?

The song was written by Nelly, Antoine 'Bam' Macon, Ryan Bowser, Kenneth Gamble, and Bunny Sigler. The production was handled by St. Louis producers Ryan Bowser and Antoine 'Bam' Macon.

Did Nelly and Kelly Rowland ever date?

Despite their palpable chemistry in the music video and on the track, which sparked persistent rumors over the years, both Nelly and Kelly Rowland have consistently maintained that they have only ever been friends.

Was there a sequel to the song 'Dilemma'?

Yes, Nelly and Kelly Rowland reunited for a song called 'Gone,' which was featured on Nelly's 2010 album '5.0.' Nelly initially dubbed it 'Dilemma Part 2,' but later retracted that, stating he didn't want to diminish the original but rather extend the story.