How to Pretend

How to Pretend by Lucy Bedroque explores the dark undercurrents of a manipulative relationship, focusing on themes of inauthenticity, emotional exploitation, and the performative nature of modern romance. The title itself serves as the central thesis: the song is an interrogation of why people fabricate feelings and identities to control others.

The Game of Manipulation: A core theme is the reduction of human connection to a strategic game. Lyrics like "Having little pawns all game / I can do this shit all day" suggest that the antagonist views their partners not as people, but as pieces to be moved for their own entertainment. The narrator is aware of this ("You knew this was entertaining / And you get off to it") but admits to being complicit through their silence, highlighting the paralyzing effect of toxic attachment.

Identity and Worth: The recurring lines "Where would you build your worth if she's not here? He's not here?" point to a deep-seated insecurity within the manipulator. The song suggests that this person's value is entirely extrinsic, derived from the validation or suffering of their partners. The shifting pronouns ("she" and "he") may reflect the artist's exploration of gender fluidity or simply indicate that the manipulator uses multiple people to sustain their ego.

Digital Communication: The lyrics frequently reference messaging ("Prancing to your next message / You're dancing to mine"), grounding the song in the reality of digital relationships. This setting amplifies the theme of "pretending," as screens allow for a curated, false self that is easier to maintain than genuine intimacy. The "slimey" behavior described implies a slipperiness of character that is hard to pin down, much like a digital ghost.

The song opens with a direct confrontation, where the narrator acknowledges a shared complicity in a toxic dynamic, admitting that both parties should have had the foresight to avoid the situation. The narrator describes the other person as deceitful and skilled at manipulation, deriving a twisted sense of entertainment and gratification from the chaos they create. Despite realizing the insanity of the situation, the narrator confesses to staying silent, internalizing the turmoil rather than speaking out.

As the narrative progresses, the lyrics touch on feelings of regret, with the narrator reflecting that they could have made better choices. The antagonist is depicted as unloving yet capable of sedating or pacifying their partner—referred to in the third person—knowing exactly what that partner desires. This creates a cycle where both parties seem to feed off the unhealthy dynamic. The narrator describes a sense of resignation, no longer seeking apologies or victory, yet feeling constantly shadowed by the other person's presence in their actions.

The chorus introduces a metaphorical "field of hurt," questioning the antagonist's source of self-worth in the absence of their partners (referenced as "she" and "he"). It repeatedly asks the piercing question, "Why do you pretend?" challenging the authenticity of the other person's actions. The verses describe a digital dance of communication, with the antagonist eagerly moving to the next message while the narrator feels hate for the game they are forced to play. The antagonist is portrayed as treating people like pawns in a game, finding amusement in the control they exert. The song concludes with a lingering question about fairness in this emotional exchange, leaving the listener with a sense of unresolved conflict and introspection.

How to Pretend was released on October 4, 2024, as a standout track on Lucy Bedroque's EP Fête de la Vanille. It was later included on the 2025 album Unmusique. The song was written and produced by the artist, Jeremiah Mark, who performs under the moniker Lucy Bedroque. Mark, a Los Angeles-based artist originally from New York, has built a cult following in the underground "digicore" and "sigilkore" scenes, previously recording under the name Lostrushi.

The creation of the song reflects Mark's evolution from the distorted, abrasive sounds of their earlier work to a more polished, ethereal aesthetic that blends hyperpop with Shibuya-kei and bossa nova influences. In interviews and community discussions, Mark has described their songwriting process as akin to "recording a diary," suggesting that the lyrics are drawn from personal experiences with relationships and identity. The track's production showcases this shift, utilizing cleaner vocals and intricate, jazzy chord progressions alongside the expected electronic glitchiness. The song quickly became a fan favorite, praised for its infectious rhythm despite its heavy lyrical content.

The lyrics of "How to Pretend" rely heavily on gaming and spatial metaphors to convey emotional truths.

• Pawns and Games: The most explicit metaphor is the comparison of the relationship to a game of chess ("Having little pawns all game"). This symbolizes the power imbalance, where the antagonist holds agency (the player) and the narrator is merely a tool (the pawn) used for strategy and sacrifice.
• The Field of Hurt: This abstract image creates a sense of emotional geography. It suggests that the relationship is not a home or a sanctuary, but a battlefield or a designated zone where pain is the primary landscape. It implies that stepping into this person's life means entering a territory of inevitable suffering.
• Building Worth: The act of "building" worth implies that the antagonist's self-esteem is a construction project dependent on external materials (other people). If those materials ("she" or "he") are removed, the structure collapses, revealing the hollowness inside.
• Sedation: The line "know how to sedate him" functions as a metaphor for emotional manipulation—calming someone down or numbing their senses to keep them compliant, rather than offering genuine love or care.

The emotional landscape of "How to Pretend" is complex and bittersweet. On the surface, the bright synths and fast tempo suggest energy and excitement, but this is immediately undercut by the melancholic and resentful lyrics. There is a palpable sense of tension derived from the narrator's suppressed anger—knowing they are being manipulated ("Insane, and I knew it") but feeling unable to stop it.

As the song progresses, the tone shifts from accusation to a kind of weary resignation. The bridge, with its softer delivery of "Listen, is the exchange fair?", introduces a moment of vulnerability and longing for equity that will likely never come. The overall atmosphere is one of disillusionment masked by a brave, upbeat face—a musical representation of the very "pretending" the song critiques.

While Lucy Bedroque is an underground artist, "How to Pretend" has resonated significantly within the digicore and hyperpop communities online. The song is often cited by fans on platforms like Reddit and Discord as a gateway track into Bedroque's discography, praised for bridging the gap between abrasive experimentalism and accessible pop.

The track's release on the Fête de la Vanille EP marked a stylistic turning point for the artist, moving towards a sound that incorporates Shibuya-kei and bossanova elements, a trend that has since influenced other creators in the niche "Dariacore" or "Webcore" scenes. Its popularity is evident in its streaming numbers relative to the artist's other works and its frequent appearance in "underground" playlists and AMVs (Anime Music Videos), cementing its status as a modern anthem for the digitally-native generation grappling with online identity and relationships.

The song utilizes a mix of perfect rhymes and slant rhymes within a loose, conversational meter. In the verses, lines like "better than that" and "do it good" (slant) or "entertaining" and "kept quiet" (rhythmic parallel rather than rhyme) show a preference for flow over strict structure. However, the chorus tightens up with the repetition of the phrase "Why do you pretend?" which anchors the song rhythmically.

Rhythmically, the vocal delivery is syncopated, often lagging slightly behind or rushing ahead of the beat, which mirrors the anxious energy of the lyrics. The interplay between the staccato delivery of lines like "Prancing to your next message" and the smoother, melodic refrain helps build tension. The underlying beat is fast-paced (typical of drum and bass or breakcore influence), contrasting with the dreamy, floating quality of the synth pads, creating a rhythmic duality that represents the conflict between the chaotic reality and the "pretend" facade.

Musical Techniques: Lucy Bedroque employs a unique blend of genres often described as "ethereal digicore." The production features jazzy, complex chord progressions (hinting at bossa nova or Shibuya-kei influences) layered with frenetic breakbeats and glitchy electronic textures. The vocals are processed with pitch correction and formanting, giving them a fluid, androgynous quality that mirrors the lyrical themes of identity. The juxtaposition of the upbeat, danceable rhythm with the melancholic lyrics creates a "crying in the club" atmosphere, enhancing the sense of cognitive dissonance described in the song.

Literary Techniques:

• Rhetorical Questions: The hook relies on the repetitive rhetorical question "Why do you pretend?" This serves not to get an answer, but to accuse and provoke reflection.
• Shift in Perspective: The lyrics shift between direct address ("You") and third-person observation ("sedate him", "he's not here"), creating a disorienting effect that mimics the confusion of the relationship.
• Irony: The narrator describes the antagonist's cruelty as "entertaining" and "so fun," using irony to highlight the perverse nature of the toxicity.

What is the meaning of the line 'If she's not here? He's not here'?

This line suggests that the person being addressed has no internal sense of self-worth and relies entirely on their partners for validation. By switching between 'she' and 'he', the lyrics imply that the antagonist uses multiple people—regardless of gender—to fill an emotional void, or it may reflect the gender-fluid nature of the relationships described.

What genre is 'How to Pretend' by Lucy Bedroque?

The song is primarily categorized as **Hyperpop** or **Digicore**, but it is notable for blending these electronic styles with influences from **Shibuya-kei**, **Bossa Nova**, and **Art Pop**. Fans often describe the sound as 'ethereal' or 'Nintendo DS-inspired' due to its specific synth textures and melodic choices.

Who is Lucy Bedroque?

Lucy Bedroque is the stage name of **Jeremiah Mark**, a Los Angeles-based artist and producer. Formerly known as **Lostrushi**, they are a key figure in the underground digicore scene. They are known for their self-produced music, distinct visual aesthetic, and evolution from abrasive rap to melodic, experimental pop.

Is 'How to Pretend' about a real relationship?

While the artist has not explicitly confirmed the specific subject, Lucy Bedroque has stated in interviews that they write music like "recording a diary." This suggests the song is likely based on personal experiences with toxic relationships, manipulation, and the feeling of being used as a 'pawn' in someone else's emotional game.

When was 'How to Pretend' released?

'How to Pretend' was originally released on **October 4, 2024**, as part of the EP *Fête de la Vanille*. It also appears on the artist's subsequent project, *Unmusique*, released in 2025.