It Ain't Me (with Selena Gomez)

"It Ain't Me" is a song about reaching a breaking point in a relationship damaged by alcoholism and partying. The lyrics, sung from the perspective of a woman, narrate her decision to leave her partner. She reminisces about the good times and the innocence of their youth ("back to 17, summer nights and The Libertines"), but contrasts this with the current reality of her partner's self-destructive behavior. The central theme is one of empowerment and self-preservation. The narrator questions who will now care for her ex-partner during his vulnerable moments—driving him home when drunk, comforting him through hangovers ("the dark side of the morning")—and firmly declares that it will no longer be her. Songwriter Ali Tamposi explained that the song is about a woman finding the strength to walk away from a toxic relationship, defying societal pressures to stand by her partner no matter the cost. While the lyrics have a somber and nostalgic undertone, the overall message is uplifting, focusing on the strength it takes to end a damaging cycle.

The narrative begins with a nostalgic reflection, a dreamlike memory of a past love. The scene is set on the highest floor of The Bowery hotel, where the couple is intimately sharing "whiskey neat." This moment represents a peak in their relationship, a time when things felt right and their connection was strong. However, this idyllic memory quickly dissolves as the reality of their disconnect sets in. The lyrics reveal a turning point where they "stopped seeing eye to eye." The partner's destructive behavior, characterized by staying out all night and excessive drinking, became the breaking point. The narrator had reached her limit.

A second memory surfaces, one of being seventeen and carefree during "summer nights," listening to the band The Libertines, embodying a time of youthful innocence and a shared dream of "never growing up." This contrasts sharply with the present reality. The core of the song is a powerful and definitive declaration of self-preservation. The narrator poses a series of rhetorical questions to her former partner, asking who will now take care of him in his moments of vulnerability and self-destruction. Who will be there to guide him through "the dark side of the morning" after a night of heavy drinking? Who will comfort him when the sun is too bright and sleep won't come? Who will be the responsible one to drive him home when he is "drunk and all alone"?

The resounding answer to all these questions is a firm "It ain't me." This repeated phrase serves as the song's central thesis, a powerful statement of her refusal to continue in the role of a caretaker for someone who is not taking responsibility for their own actions. She acknowledges the shared history and the good times, symbolized by the whiskey nights and the memories of being seventeen, but she makes it clear that she is leaving behind "the worst of us." It's a declaration of independence and an act of self-love, choosing to walk away from a toxic dynamic to save herself, even if it means leaving the other person to face their demons alone. The song captures the bittersweet pain of ending a significant relationship while simultaneously celebrating the strength and empowerment found in that difficult decision.

"It Ain't Me" was released on February 16, 2017. The song was written by a team consisting of Kygo (Kyrre Gørvell-Dahll), Selena Gomez, Andrew Watt, Brian Lee, and Ali Tamposi. The production was handled by Kygo, Andrew Watt, and Louis Bell. The initial songwriting session between Watt, Lee, and Tamposi for Kygo didn't go well at first. After Kygo left, Tamposi encouraged the group to try a more acoustic, "Fleetwood Mac" style approach, which led to a 45-minute jam session that produced the demo for "It Ain't Me". When Kygo heard the acoustic demo, he was reportedly very excited and immediately began mapping out the production. Selena Gomez heard the track about a month later and recorded her vocals shortly after, connecting deeply with its emotional themes based on her own experiences. Tamposi noted Gomez's significant involvement in the vocal sessions and her contribution to the song's vision. The track served as the lead single from Kygo's EP Stargazing and was also included as a bonus track on Gomez's album Rare.

The lyrics of "It Ain't Me" use several symbolic and metaphorical elements to enhance their meaning.

• "The dark side of the morning": This phrase metaphorically represents the difficult and unpleasant aftermath of a night of heavy drinking, such as a hangover, regret, and emotional distress. It's the moment when the party is over and the harsh reality of the consequences sets in, a time when the partner is most vulnerable and in need of support.
• "Sipping whiskey neat / Highest floor, The Bowery": This imagery symbolizes a peak moment in the relationship, a time of sophistication, intimacy, and feeling "high" on love and life. It contrasts sharply with the subsequent downfall of the relationship due to the partner's continued and destructive drinking habits.
• "Back to 17 / summer nights and The Libertines": This is a nostalgic symbol of lost innocence and a simpler, more hopeful time in the relationship, before adult problems and addiction took their toll. It represents the carefree past that the narrator mourns but ultimately has to leave behind.
• Music Video Symbolism: Although not featuring the artists, the official music video tells a separate, allegorical story. It depicts a couple in a motorcycle crash. As the man lies in a coma, the woman stays by his side, and the video enters his subconscious, a surreal space where he battles to live. The woman's presence, at times dancing and placing headphones on him, can be seen as his memory of her and her spirit willing him to survive. His eventual awakening to find her gone can symbolize the song's core message: she was there for his darkest moment, but has now moved on, leaving him to face the world alone.

The emotional landscape of "It Ain't Me" is a complex mixture of nostalgia, sadness, and resolute empowerment. The song begins with a wistful and melancholic tone as the narrator recalls tender moments from the past—"sipping whiskey neat" and being "back to 17." This nostalgia creates a sense of genuine loss and highlights that the decision to leave was not easy. However, this sadness is juxtaposed with a growing feeling of frustration and exhaustion, captured in the line "You were staying out all night, and I had enough."

As the song transitions into the chorus, the emotion shifts dramatically to one of strength, defiance, and self-empowerment. The repeated declaration "It ain't me" is not delivered with anger, but with a firm, clear-headed resolve. It's the sound of someone who has moved past the hurt and has made a conscious choice for their own well-being. The upbeat, tropical house production by Kygo contrasts with the lyrical sadness, creating a bittersweet feeling that is ultimately uplifting. It's a song for dancing through the pain, celebrating the difficult but necessary act of letting go of a toxic relationship.

"It Ain't Me" was a significant commercial success and had a notable cultural impact. Upon its release in February 2017, the song received positive reviews from music critics, who praised it as a mature release for both artists. It became a massive global hit, reaching number one in countries like Norway, Croatia, and Lebanon, and charting in the top five in Australia, Canada, Germany, and many others. In the United States, it peaked at number 10 on the Billboard Hot 100, becoming Kygo's highest-charting single and Selena Gomez's seventh top-ten entry. The song was certified Platinum by the RIAA just four months after its release.

The track marked a significant moment in Selena Gomez's career, as it was one of her first musical outputs after a public hiatus to focus on her health. Its theme of overcoming a toxic relationship resonated with many listeners and was often speculated by fans and media to be about her past relationship with Justin Bieber, particularly with the lyric referencing being "seventeen." The song's blend of emotional lyrics with a danceable tropical house beat became a defining sound of 2017 pop music. It has been used in media, such as in an episode of the TV series The Bold Type, and remains one of the most successful and recognizable songs for both Kygo and Gomez.

The rhyme and rhythm of "It Ain't Me" are crafted to be both catchy and emotionally resonant, supporting its pop and dance structure.

Rhyme Scheme:The song's verses follow a relatively simple and effective rhyme scheme. For instance, in the first verse, "neat" and "feet" (implied in the next line) create a rhyme, while the second verse uses an AABB-like pattern with "seventeen" rhyming with "Libertines" and an implied rhyme for the following lines. The chorus structure is based on lyrical repetition rather than a complex rhyme scheme, which makes it anthemic and memorable.

Rhythm and Tempo:The song is set to a tempo of approximately 100 beats per minute (BPM), a mid-tempo pace that is common in dance-pop and allows for both dancing and lyrical reflection. The rhythm starts with a gentle, acoustic guitar pattern, establishing a thoughtful mood. As the song progresses into the pre-chorus and chorus, the rhythm becomes more pronounced with the addition of percussion, finger-snaps, and a driving bassline. The signature element is the post-chorus "drop," where a syncopated rhythm is carried by vocal chops and pulsing piano chords. This interplay between the laid-back verses and the energetic, rhythmic chorus creates a dynamic journey that mirrors the lyrical shift from sad nostalgia to empowered defiance.

"It Ain't Me" skillfully blends literary and musical techniques to create its emotional impact.

Musical Techniques:

• Genre Fusion: The track is a prime example of Kygo's signature tropical house sound, but it's infused with elements of dance-pop and electropop, making it accessible to a wide audience.
• Instrumentation: The song begins with a simple, acoustic guitar line, creating an intimate, storytelling feel. This builds into a chorus featuring pulsing piano chords, synthesizers, finger-snaps, and subtle pan flute melodies, characteristic of Kygo's production style.
• Arrangement and Dynamics: The song uses a classic build-and-drop structure. The verses are more subdued, allowing the vocals to take center stage, while the pre-chorus builds tension that is released in the energetic, instrumental-led drop.
• Vocal Production: Selena Gomez's vocals are delivered in a raw, husky tone, conveying a sense of maturity and emotional weariness. In the drop, her vocals are processed and chopped into rhythmic, syllabic phrases, turning her voice into another melodic instrument, a common technique in EDM.

Literary Techniques:

• Narrative Voice: The song is told from a strong first-person perspective, creating a direct and personal connection with the listener. It's a confessional, a final declaration to a former lover.
• Rhetorical Questions: The chorus is built around a series of rhetorical questions ("Who's gonna walk you through...?", "Who's gonna rock you...?") that emphasize the partner's dependence and the void the narrator's departure will create. She isn't seeking an answer; she's making a statement that the answer is no longer her.
• Juxtaposition: The lyrics create a sharp contrast between nostalgic past memories (being 17, The Bowery hotel) and the painful present, highlighting the deterioration of the relationship.

What is the song 'It Ain't Me' by Kygo and Selena Gomez about?

The song is about a woman's decision to leave a toxic relationship ruined by her partner's alcoholism and partying. It's a song about nostalgia for the good times but ultimately finding the strength to walk away for her own well-being.

Who wrote 'It Ain't Me'?

The song was co-written by Kygo, Selena Gomez, Andrew Watt, Brian Lee, and Ali Tamposi.

When was 'It Ain't Me' released?

It Ain't Me was released on February 16, 2017, as the lead single from Kygo's EP, Stargazing.

What does the lyric 'the dark side of the morning' mean?

This phrase refers to the negative physical and emotional effects of a hangover after a night of heavy drinking. It symbolizes the difficult morning-after period that the narrator will no longer help her partner get through.

Is 'It Ain't Me' about Justin Bieber?

While never officially confirmed, fans and media have widely speculated that the lyrics, particularly the reference to being seventeen, allude to Selena Gomez's past relationship with Justin Bieber. However, co-writer Ali Tamposi stated it's more broadly about a woman displaying her strength.

What genre of music is 'It Ain't Me'?

The song is primarily categorized as Tropical House, but it also blends elements of Dance-pop, EDM, and Electropop.

What is the story in the 'It Ain't Me' music video?

The music video portrays a couple who get into a motorcycle accident. While the man is in a coma, the woman's spirit or memory seems to guide him back to consciousness, but when he wakes up, she is gone, symbolizing the song's theme of moving on.