New Rules

"New Rules" is an empowering anthem about the struggle and ultimate resolve required to move on from a toxic relationship. The song's meaning is centered around a clear, pragmatic 'rulebook' a person creates for themselves to avoid falling back into the arms of an ex who is bad for them. Dua Lipa explained that it's the breakup song she wished she had when going through a difficult separation, serving as a guide to maintain distance and self-respect. The lyrical core is a three-step guide: not answering the ex's calls, not letting him into her home, and not being his friend, as these actions inevitably lead to a physical reunion that prevents emotional healing. The song powerfully conveys the idea of taking back control, promoting self-love and female solidarity. The rules are not just about the ex; they are about setting personal boundaries and prioritizing one's own well-being. The music video further expands on this by depicting a community of women supporting each other through the process, symbolizing that friendship and shared strength are crucial tools for overcoming heartbreak.

The narrative begins with the protagonist in a state of inner turmoil, admitting she's driving herself mad by talking in her sleep, obsessing over a past lover. She acknowledges that this person makes her feel uniquely special, but is painfully aware that the love is unreciprocated. To combat this emotional vulnerability, she tells herself to adhere to a strict set of self-imposed guidelines designed to prevent her from falling back into a toxic cycle.

The first rule is a direct command: "Don't pick up the phone." She reasons that he's only calling out of loneliness and intoxication, not genuine affection. This rule targets the initial point of contact, the moment of weakness when a familiar voice can undo all progress. It's a pragmatic defense against late-night temptations.

The second rule follows logically: "Don't let him in." This addresses the next potential step in the relapse. Even if she answers the phone, she must not allow him physical proximity, because once he's inside her space, the emotional and physical entanglement will become infinitely harder to sever. She foresees the inevitable difficulty of having to "kick him out again," a repeated pattern she is determined to break.

The third and most crucial rule is: "Don't be his friend." This tackles the deceptive gray area of post-breakup relationships. The song argues that friendship is a dangerous illusion, a direct path to intimacy that negates any attempt to move on. The lyrics are blunt about the outcome: "you know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning." The raw honesty culminates in the powerful assertion, "And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him," making it clear that physical intimacy is the ultimate barrier to emotional healing.

Throughout the song, she chants these rules to herself, reinforcing them like a mantra. She describes the struggle of pushing forward while he constantly pulls her back, a toxic dynamic she is only now beginning to recognize as a destructive pattern she's failed to learn from. The repetition of "I got new rules, I count 'em" signifies a conscious and deliberate effort to internalize these principles, to make them second nature. It's an act of taking control, of programming her own mind for recovery.

The bridge emphasizes that this process requires dedication and practice. "Practice makes perfect, I'm still tryna learn it by heart," she admits, highlighting that moving on is not an instantaneous event but a journey of discipline. She needs to "eat, sleep, and breathe" these rules, rehearsing and repeating them until they become an unbreakable habit. This section transforms the rules from mere suggestions into a fundamental part of her being, a survival guide for her emotional well-being. The song concludes with a resolute repetition of the rules, solidifying her commitment to this new, empowered chapter of her life, free from the destructive influence of her ex.

"New Rules" was written by Caroline Ailin, Emily Warren, and Ian Kirkpatrick, who also handled the production. The song's concept originated from songwriter Caroline Ailin's personal struggles with an ex-boyfriend. She and Emily Warren decided to write a song that would act as a preventative measure, a set of rules to follow to avoid repeating the same mistakes. The track was initially created during a songwriting camp intended for the group Little Mix, but they passed on it. After being rejected by several other artists, with one believing it lacked a strong hook, producer Ian Kirkpatrick played it for Dua Lipa in Los Angeles. Lipa had recently postponed her debut album to record more songs, and upon hearing "New Rules," she immediately connected with it. She felt it was the perfect breakup song she needed to add to her album. The song was recorded in 2016-2017 across several studios. Kirkpatrick noted that he recorded Lipa's vocals at half the tempo and then sped them up, creating a unique, almost alien-like quality in her vibrato for the pre-chorus. "New Rules" was released as the seventh single from her self-titled debut album on July 7, 2017.

The song and its iconic music video are rich with symbolism and metaphors centered on empowerment and sorority.

The Rules: The most prominent element is the set of "new rules," which functions as a direct, pragmatic metaphor for establishing boundaries and self-discipline after a breakup. They represent a conscious effort to replace emotional impulsivity with rational self-preservation.

The Hotel Confidante: The music video is set at The Confidante Hotel in Miami. The name itself is symbolic, suggesting a place of trust and secrets, where the protagonist and her friends (her confidantes) can support one another.

Flamingos: The recurring flamingo motif in the video can be interpreted in several ways. Flamingos are social birds that stick together, mirroring the theme of female camaraderie and group cohesion. They also add a touch of surrealism and retro aesthetic to the video's world.

Walking on Water: In one of the final scenes, Lipa and her friends walk on the surface of the pool. This act is a powerful visual metaphor for achieving self-confidence and overcoming the emotional turmoil that previously felt overwhelming, as if performing a miracle.

Cyclical Choreography and Support: The video's choreography often involves the women physically supporting, guiding, and restraining each other. This symbolizes the cyclical nature of friendship and support; at the beginning, Lipa is the one being helped, but by the end, she is strong enough to enforce the rules for another friend in need, showing she has internalized the lessons and can now empower others.

The emotional landscape of "New Rules" is a dynamic journey from vulnerability to empowerment. It opens with a sense of desperation and sadness, as the lyrics "Talkin' in my sleep at night, makin' myself crazy" reveal a mind consumed by heartbreak. There's a clear feeling of longing and an admission of the ex's powerful hold ("he makes me feel like nobody else"), which is immediately undercut by the painful realization that the feeling isn't mutual ("he doesn't love me"). This initial melancholy shifts into a tone of pragmatic defiance as the rules are introduced. The song's emotional core is this tension between lingering sadness and the determined, almost cold-blooded, effort to regain control. The tropical house beat provides an energetic, forward-moving pulse that contrasts with the lyrical sadness, suggesting a fight against sorrow. As the song progresses, the tone becomes increasingly assertive and hopeful. By the bridge, with the line "Practice makes perfect," the emotion shifts towards confident resolve. The overall atmosphere is one of defiant self-preservation and triumphant self-love, capturing the difficult but ultimately rewarding process of healing from a toxic relationship.

"New Rules" was a major cultural phenomenon and a pivotal moment in Dua Lipa's career, establishing her as a global pop powerhouse. The song became her first number-one single on the UK Singles Chart, making her the first solo female artist to top the chart since Adele's "Hello" in 2015. It also reached number six on the US Billboard Hot 100, her first top-ten hit in the country. The song's popularity was massively amplified by its music video, directed by Henry Scholfield. The video, with its themes of female empowerment, striking pastel aesthetics, and memorable choreography, became iconic. It went viral, inspiring countless tributes and parodies online and becoming one of the most-viewed music videos on YouTube, surpassing three billion views. "New Rules" received critical acclaim, earning nominations for British Single of the Year and British Video of the Year at the 2018 Brit Awards. It resonated deeply with listeners as a modern breakup anthem, praised for its practical advice and message of friendship and self-worth, solidifying its place as a defining pop song of the late 2010s.

"New Rules" is characterized by a compelling and danceable rhythmic structure. The song is set in a 4/4 time signature with a tempo of around 116 BPM. Its rhythm is a fusion of tropical house and electropop, driven by a syncopated dancehall-inspired beat. A notable rhythmic feature is the use of a dropped first beat just before the chorus, which creates a slight pause and then a rush into the hook, making it more impactful.

The lyrical rhythm is conversational and direct, especially in the pre-chorus where the rules are listed. The rhyme scheme is relatively straightforward, primarily using couplets (AABB) to make the rules catchy and easy to remember. For example, in the first rule, "phone" rhymes with "alone," and in the second, "in" rhymes with "again." The third rule uses a more explicit internal rhyme and assonance to link the ideas: "...in his bed in the morning / And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him." This simple yet effective structure makes the lyrics function like a memorable mantra. The interplay between the steady, danceable musical rhythm and the direct, almost spoken-word lyrical delivery of the rules creates the song's signature blend of vulnerability and assertive strength.

"New Rules" employs a variety of musical and literary techniques to create its memorable and impactful sound. Musically, it's a blend of tropical house, electropop, and EDM, with prominent dancehall rhythms. Producer Ian Kirkpatrick built the track around a distinctive marimba riff and layered percussive elements, including a tambourine with a noticeable swing feel, to create its infectious groove. A key production technique was recording Dua Lipa's vocals for the pre-chorus at half speed and then digitally accelerating them, which gives her voice a unique, slightly unnatural and tense quality. The song's structure features an interesting rhythmic trick before the chorus, where the first beat is dropped, creating a brief but catchy rhythmic shift that serves as a hook.

Lyrically, the song uses a direct, instructional tone. The use of the imperative mood ("Don't pick up the phone") makes the rules feel like a mantra or a set of commandments. The narrative voice shifts between first-person introspection ("I tell myself") and second-person direct address ("You know he's only calling"), which creates a feeling of both personal struggle and giving advice, as if she is counseling herself and the listener simultaneously. This technique makes the song highly relatable and feel like a supportive conversation. Repetition is used heavily, with the phrase "I got new rules, I count 'em" acting as a recurring motif that drills the central theme into the listener's mind, enhancing its memorability and anthemic quality.

What is the meaning of Dua Lipa's song 'New Rules'?

'New Rules' is an empowering anthem about setting strict boundaries to get over a toxic ex-boyfriend. The lyrics serve as a three-step guide: don't answer his calls, don't let him in your house, and don't be his friend, because breaking these rules will prevent you from moving on.

Who wrote 'New Rules' by Dua Lipa?

The song was written by a team consisting of Caroline Ailin, Emily Warren, and Ian Kirkpatrick. Kirkpatrick also produced the track. The lyrics were inspired by Ailin's own experiences with a difficult breakup.

What genre of music is 'New Rules'?

'New Rules' is primarily described as a tropical house and electropop song. It incorporates elements of EDM, with dance-pop beats and dancehall rhythms that give it a distinctive, upbeat feel.

When was 'New Rules' released?

'New Rules' was officially released for digital download and streaming on July 7, 2017, as the seventh single from Dua Lipa's self-titled debut studio album.

What do the flamingos in the 'New Rules' video symbolize?

The flamingos in the music video are often interpreted as symbols of female community and group cohesion, as flamingos are very social birds. They also contribute to the video's vibrant, retro, Miami-inspired aesthetic.

Where was the music video for 'New Rules' filmed?

The music video for 'New Rules' was filmed at The Confidante Hotel, a beachfront resort on Collins Avenue in Miami Beach, Florida. The hotel's name and retro style perfectly complemented the video's themes of friendship and empowerment.

Why was 'New Rules' so successful?

Its success is attributed to its highly relatable and empowering lyrics, a catchy tropical house beat, and an iconic music video. The video's themes of female friendship and its striking visuals went viral, massively boosting the song's popularity and making it a global anthem for moving on from a breakup.

What do the three rules in the song mean?

The three rules are a practical guide to prevent relapse into a toxic relationship. 'Don't pick up the phone' cuts off initial contact. 'Don't let him in' prevents physical proximity. 'Don't be his friend' closes the door on the illusion of a platonic relationship that leads back to intimacy.