I'm a Mess

"I'm a Mess" is a candid and empowering anthem about mental health and self-acceptance. Bebe Rexha has explicitly stated that the song is about celebrating, rather than hiding, one's imperfections and insecurities. It delves into her personal struggles with anxiety, depression, and the feelings of inadequacy that can arise from unrequited love. The song's core message is that it's acceptable to not be okay all the time. The lyrics juxtapose raw, self-deprecating confessions like "I'm a loser, I'm a hater, I'm a user" with mantras of self-love and hope, such as "'Cause I love me" and "Everything's gonna be alright." This creates a powerful narrative of someone acknowledging their flaws and inner turmoil while simultaneously fighting for self-worth. The song has been described as a representation of the battle within oneself, promoting the importance of talking about mental health and having hope. It transforms a state of being a "mess" from something shameful into a point of honest, cathartic celebration.

The narrator begins by acknowledging a state of recent turmoil, expressing the near certainty that her romantic partner no longer wishes to be with her. She repeats, "he don't love me," but immediately counters this painful realization with an affirmation of self-love, stating, "'Cause I love me... I love myself anyway." This sets up a central conflict between external validation and internal strength.

A voice of reassurance, attributed to her therapist, enters her thoughts, promising that everything will be alright and lead to a "good, good life." This serves as a mantra, a hopeful pre-chorus that contrasts sharply with the raw confession of the chorus that follows. In the chorus, she unleashes a torrent of self-deprecating labels: "I'm a mess, I'm a loser, I'm a hater, I'm a user." She admits to being this way specifically for her partner's love, suggesting the relationship exacerbates her worst traits. She continues by stating her obsession and embarrassment, and a profound distrust for everyone around them, reinforcing the idea that this love has made her a "mess."

The second verse delves into feelings of being used and taken for granted, with the line, "Nobody shows up unless I'm paying." She cynically toasts to this failure, again followed by the painful admission that her partner doesn't love her. Yet, once more, she pivots back to the crucial importance of self-love as a coping mechanism. The pre-chorus repeats, a reminder of her therapist's hopeful words, attempting to overlay the internal chaos with a structured, positive outlook. The song structure emphasizes this cycle: a painful reality, a coached mantra of hope, and an unvarnished confession of her messy state, ultimately creating a narrative of someone grappling with their demons in real-time, finding strength not in perfection, but in the radical act of loving oneself despite the mess.

"I'm a Mess" was born from a moment of raw vulnerability. Bebe Rexha has shared that the song was written on a day she felt particularly heartbroken and emotionally overwhelmed. She had just discovered that a man she liked was involved with someone else and had to go to a writing session with acclaimed songwriter Justin Tranter. She walked into the studio, broke down crying, and said to Tranter, "I'm sorry, but I'm a mess." Tranter immediately recognized the power in that statement and declared, "That's the name of the song." The song was written very quickly, in about two hours, in what was described as a "magic moment" and a therapeutic experience for Rexha. The track was produced by Jussifer and Devon Corey. A significant element of its creation involves an interpolation of the 1997 hit "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks. Rexha and Tranter noticed the chorus's similarity to "Bitch" after writing it and decided to proactively credit the original songwriters, Meredith Brooks and Shelly Peiken, to avoid any issues. The song was recorded in 2017 and released on June 15, 2018, as the lead single from her debut studio album, Expectations.

The central metaphor of the song is the state of being a "mess." This isn't just about being untidy; it symbolizes a state of emotional and psychological turmoil. The lyrics unpack this metaphor by listing specific feelings and behaviors: jealousy, obsession, self-hatred ("hate my reflection"), and the feeling of being a "loser" and a "user." The song's structure creates a symbolic contrast between internal struggle and external appearance. The upbeat, dance-pop music represents the mask or the brave face one might put on, while the brutally honest lyrics reveal the chaos underneath. The reference to the "therapist" acts as a symbol for hope and the process of healing, providing a rational, calming voice that counters the emotional spiral. Furthermore, the music video extends this symbolism by being set in a mental asylum, using imagery like straitjackets to visually represent the feeling of being confined by one's own mental health struggles, which for Rexha was a way to express her truth about anxiety and depression.

The emotional landscape of "I'm a Mess" is a complex mix of despair and empowerment. The lyrics convey deep feelings of sadness, self-loathing, insecurity, and heartbreak, stemming from unrequited love and internal struggles. Phrases like "I'm a loser" and "I don't trust no one around us" paint a picture of profound emotional distress. However, this negativity is set against an upbeat, energetic pop track. This juxtaposition creates a feeling of catharsis and defiant joy. The act of singing and dancing to such painful admissions transforms the emotion from pure sadness into a form of celebratory release. There are clear emotional shifts: the verses are melancholic, the pre-chorus introduces a fragile hope, the chorus unleashes a raw, almost angry confession, and the assertion of "I love myself anyway" brings a sense of triumph and resilience. The overall atmosphere is therefore not simply negative, but bittersweet and ultimately empowering, capturing the feeling of finding strength in admitting one's vulnerability.

"I'm a Mess" made a significant cultural impact as a mainstream pop song that openly and unapologetically discusses mental health struggles like anxiety and depression. It resonated with many listeners who saw their own feelings reflected in the lyrics, turning it into an anthem for self-acceptance. The song was the first single from Bebe Rexha's debut album, Expectations, and became her first solo track to enter the top 40 of the Billboard Hot 100, highlighting its commercial success. Its interpolation of Meredith Brooks's 1997 hit "Bitch" connected two generations of female artists expressing unfiltered honesty. The music video, directed by Sophie Muller and set in a mental asylum, sparked some controversy and debate regarding its depiction of mental illness, but Rexha defended it as an expression of her personal truth and a way to make fans feel less alone. The song solidified Rexha's status as a solo artist and is often cited as a key track in her discography that showcases her raw songwriting and commitment to authentic themes.

The song is built on a driving, mid-tempo dance-pop rhythm that gives it an anthemic, energetic feel despite its vulnerable lyrics. The rhythmic structure is straightforward, designed for pop appeal. The rhyme scheme is generally simple and effective. In the first verse, it follows an AABB pattern with the rhymes "lately" and "baby," followed by the repetition of "he don't love me" and the internal rhyme in "'Cause I love me, yeah, I love me." The pre-chorus uses a near-rhyme scheme of AABB with "alright/life" and "okay/say." The chorus itself relies more on repetition and rhythmic parallelism than a strict rhyme scheme: "I'm a mess, I'm a loser, I'm a hater, I'm a user" and "I'm obsessed, I'm embarrassed." The rhythmic delivery of these lines is punchy and syncopated, locking in tightly with the beat and making the confession feel like a percussive chant. This interplay between the lyrical rhythm and the musical beat is crucial to the song's identity as a danceable track with a dark, emotional core.

Musically, "I'm a Mess" employs the conventions of 2018 pop, with a strong electronic beat, a catchy guitar riff, and a standard verse-chorus structure. A key musical technique is the use of a tritone in the melody of the chorus, particularly on the word "hater." This interval is historically known for being dissonant and unsettling, and its use here starkly emphasizes the lyrical content, creating a moment of musical tension that mirrors the emotional tension of the song. Another significant technique is interpolation; the chorus rhythm and phrasal structure are modeled after Meredith Brooks's 1997 hit "Bitch," creating a powerful intertextual link to another female empowerment anthem. Lyrically, the song uses a direct, confessional narrative voice. The repetition of phrases like "he don't love me" and "I'm a mess" functions as a lyrical hook that drills the central themes into the listener's mind. Rexha's vocal delivery is also a key stylistic element, shifting from a vulnerable tone in the verses to a more forceful, cathartic belt in the chorus, effectively conveying the song's emotional journey.

What is the song 'I'm a Mess' by Bebe Rexha about?

The song is about Bebe Rexha's personal struggles with mental health, including anxiety and depression. It's an anthem of self-acceptance, celebrating one's imperfections and insecurities rather than hiding them, and finding strength in vulnerability.

What song is 'I'm a Mess' based on?

'I'm a Mess' contains a musical interpolation of the 1997 hit song 'Bitch' by Meredith Brooks. The writers of 'Bitch,' Meredith Brooks and Shelly Peiken, are credited as songwriters on Rexha's track due to the similarity in the chorus's rhythm and structure.

Is Bebe Rexha's 'I'm a Mess' inspired by a true story?

Yes, the song was directly inspired by a real-life event. Bebe Rexha walked into a writing session feeling heartbroken after discovering a guy she liked was with someone else. She told her co-writer Justin Tranter 'I'm a mess,' which became the title and central theme of the song.

When was 'I'm a Mess' by Bebe Rexha released?

The song was released on June 15, 2018. It served as the first and only single from her debut studio album, 'Expectations.'

What do the lyrics 'I'm a hater, I'm a user' mean?

These lyrics are part of a raw, self-deprecating confession where the narrator lists her worst perceived traits. They represent the negative self-image she has, particularly influenced by the turmoil of an unhealthy relationship and her own internal struggles.

Who wrote 'I'm a Mess'?

The song was written by Bebe Rexha (Bleta Rexha), Justin Tranter, and Jussi Ilmari Karvinen (Jussifer). Meredith Brooks and Shelly Peiken are also credited due to the interpolation of their song 'Bitch.'

Why was the music video for 'I'm a Mess' controversial?

The music video, set in a stylized mental asylum, drew some criticism for its depiction of mental illness, with some finding the imagery triggering or glamorizing. Bebe Rexha defended it as a personal expression of her own struggles with anxiety and a way to celebrate accepting her imperfections.